Just wanted to ask opinions. My partner has a 9 year old daughter from previous relationship. We then had son together 3 years ago. I always treat them equally when it comes to birthdays Christmas etc and if I buy something for my son and I know my stepdaughter will be home to see then I get her something too. I don’t have any say in her life although we’re been together since she was just over 1. I cover the cost of things like clothing and uniforms etc but around the house I don’t have much authority because my partner feels I’m being mean to her if I tell her off and that I’m doing it because she’s not my daughter...my son had his first nursery visit organised and this was so parents could stay for half and then leave him for half. I was very anxious and I’ve only been to the nursery once before by myself. My partner wanted us all to go together and I told him I didn’t want to take the other child as I didn’t feel this would help my son settle. She’s also quite attention seeking and she tends to show off in front of people we’ve just met by overly mothering my son ie picking him up constantly and telling him what to do etc. I’ve never said this to my partner and he doesn’t see it but I feared if she came the visit would become about her and not my son. I was also worried that my son would be more likely to get upset when it came time to leave if it was all of us. This has led to a massive argument and my partner telling me I did it just as another way to exclude his daughter. I feel like I’m never able to just have my focus on my son and that I’m constantly having to compromise my sons first experiences of things to suit his sister.
My partner constantly tells me I have 2 children but I don’t. I’ve never been included in anything in her life like shows she’s been in, birthday parties etc and yet he expects me to feel love for her like I do my son but I can’t. Opinions as to wether it’s me or my partner who is in the wrong. Nursery visit ended up being cancelled as I was left in tears.