Partners son is a bully

[Dalyesquire]

I have a dilemma and donr know where to turn. I have been in a relationship for 2 years to a great girl who has a 6 year old son . I myself have a 7 year old boy who I get only 2 weekends a month due to working shifts.
Things have always been great with me and partner. Her boy has always been an acquired taste. He was great initially but then started acting up really badly . He shouts and tantrums at his mum and hits her when he acts up. Worst of all she says and does nothing and thinks this is ok. Now, my partner is a loving mother and doesn't deserve being treated like that. I have mentioned it before to her but I get my head bitten off by her as she doesn't like her son or her parenting being criticised. The boys behaviour has escalated to him shouting abuse at me like shut up you stupid idiot and get out of my house and he hits me. He is just 6 !!!!I have bitten my tongue but now have tried to educate him and tell him not to say stupid but say silly or dont say idiot as it's not nice . However my partner jumps to his defence and says that he doesn't really know what it means and must have heard it on the tv and he can say it . She undermined me in front of him and now he says it to me constantly and won't stop. Now , I know from reading other threads that there are those who will directly look at it and say it's not my place to say anything and that he's just acting up because he feels threatened or jealous and I agree to an extent. I have tried bonding with him and me and his mum have both spoke to him about how I'm not trying to take his mum away etc.
Anyway , I can deal with the grief I get and the grief his mother gets and would hope that down the line it improves but my problem and why I have turned to writing this post is concern for my son.
My son is the kindest best natured boy you will meet. All he wants to do is play with kids his own age and have fun. I know that sounds biased and it is but it's the truth. Since both boys were introduced a year and a bit ago, my partners son would always wind my boy up , to cut a long story short , over past year he has punched him to the face several times , wound him up to no end , said bloody awful things to him and I feel he is being bullied . Anytime I mention it to My partner it's another argument and her boy is allegedly an angel . My worst fear is now coming true as my boy doesn't want to spend time with my partners boy and says he is mean and he is actually slightly scared of him and this is difficult as I now live with my partner.
After a long time of keeping stuff to myself I blew up the other day. I was watching as my partners boy walked up to mine while he was on iPad and started pushing him, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him about living room laughing saying'you are afraid of me ' . I jumped in and told him off. Then he started abusing my boy saying ' your a stupid idiot ' ' get out my house I donr like you idiot'. My boy was really upset. My partner walked in the room just as I told him off and said he cannot say stupid and idiot . And she said he can say it if he wants. I blew my top and nearly 2 years of frustrations came out and told her how horrible her boy was he had no manners and it was her fault. I am now caught between a rock and a hard place as I love my partner but I need to protect my son . I would love to know opinions but really want to know if it will get better. Right now I have it in my head that it won't and I have a duty to my son

[Motherofcreek]

You got to ask yourself - how are you going to feel when he is an adult an possibly your relationship has broken down because of this and he asks you why you let it happen?

[WatchingFromTheWings]

You need to get yourself and your son out of there. Tbh, if my kids were getting punched in the face and bullied when they visited their father, I'd stop them going. You need to protect your child.

[SandyY2K]

Move out and get your own place.

• She doesn't respect you.
• She's not addressing her son's behaviour.
• She's got no problem with your son being bullied

Children like hers become even more violent as time goes on. It's no surprise that he ends up being abusive to a GF/wife, because his mum lets him think that's okay.


You have a job protect your son. In the meantime can you see your son somewhere else? Parents house? Or even rent an air b and b... making it a bit of fun for him.

Spend quality time with him.

[Pinkybutterfly]

Op how are you getting on? What have u decided?