Feeling a stranger at home.

[Karen4775]

I moved in with my partner about 18 months ago, he was widowed about 8 years ago which was tragic in itself. His kids were 10 and 15 at the time. So they'd been on their own since then. Then I came along, doh had liked me for a couple of years but was very shy and I just wanted to look after him. I know now that he's certainly not shy and we laugh about it now. He made the comment last night, that the younger one is so much happier since I've been around, the house is full of wonderment and its like I've sprinkled fairy dust around the place which was lovely to know. We are happy.

The trouble comes with the elder one of the two. He lives abroad for 6-8 months of the year but comes back in October until February, its during this time I'm made to feel like a stranger at home. I come in from work and rarely get acknowledged. I'm made to feel like I'm in the way. Someday's I feel like I'm making progress and he'll actually talk, but then will blank me. I'm getting fed up with the attitude. When I've spoken to his dad about it i get, oh its just his way. I do get upset, I haven't done anything wrong. I can't wait until he goes away and I feel guilty for it. We're all going away for Christmas half of me is soo looking forward to it, the other half I'm dreading it. Am I just whinging? If anyone's been in a similar situation I'd be grateful for any advice. Thanks K

You sound very bitter and rude @chloem93. People don’t have to care about others to be entitled to be treated with polite manners.

Whilst Chloe clearly still acts like a petulant child, the OP’s stepson is 23 and acting the same. I would ask him what the issue is and say he doesn’t need to like to but he does need to be polite and ensure there is no atmosphere in the home.

Finally, Chloe, most children love their parents and most people will go out of their way to be polite and make things as comfortable as possible for those they love. Likewise stepparents with stepchildren. It’s selfish to do otherwise without a justifiable reason.

Thanks for the responses, its appreciated. Although there's definitely one person who has their own issues maybe turning into dare I say a troll?!? In the grand scheme of things he will be going away for most of January, back for a week or two then back abroad til November. Until then I will just smile and carry on. I'm not trying to be his mum and I never would. I just want us all to get on, I like an easy life without atmosphere and don't see anything wrong with that. Its a shame as I get on so well with the younger one 18. We do have a lot in common btw, we're all heavily involved in cycling. Thanks again. :-)