Blending families

[Gymgirl18]

So my OH and I have been wedding planning for a few years now and have decided to just go abroad, just the two of us to combine our wedding and honeymoon into one short trip. I love my DSC but we just can’t afford to take them with us (prices basically triple during school holidays) and obviously can’t take them out of school, nor would we want to have them miss school.

By going abroad, without any family or friends, we were trying to cut out the whole “offending people by not inviting them” but their Mum says they are really upset that they can’t come and I feel terrible that we’ve excluded them.

We’ll be having a very small reception at home when we get back which they’ll obviously be at. I’ve explained all this to them and told them that we would have loved to have had them at the wedding, but I don’t know what more we can do.

Any suggestions or thoughts on this would be incredibly welcome...

Wow! Talk about getting life as a blended family off on the wrong foot! Of course the kids are hurt - what on earth did you expect? You're going abroad to avoid offending people who don't matter (distant relatives etc), and in doing so you're cutting out the people who should matter more than anyone. You're sending them a very clear signal that this "blended family" isn't about them at all - it's about the two of you.

Sorry to tell you that, if you're choosing to marry someone with kids, then life is never just about you two. I would never in a million years consider excluding my kids from my wedding if I were to have one in the future - and I don't think much of any dad who would! Please re-think this one - you will do lasting harm to your and your partner's relationship with the kids if you exclude them from this massive thing. He isn't just gaining a wife - they're also gaining a step-mum. If that isn't important enough to involve them, then I'm really not sure you're going into this for the right reasons at all.