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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Step daughter wants trampoline at our house

79 replies

Digitallife27 · 03/06/2018 13:27

Hi,

New to the boards.

So I have a step daughter (8) but also have a 10 month daughter with SD's Dad. SD stays with us one night a week and then every third weekend (Friday evening to Sunday afternoon), then we don't have her the following Monday after a weekend...

Anyway, she really wants a trampoline at our house because Dad will buy stuff for her. I have always found that trampolines end up being not used by people who I know who have them and a waste of garden space. We buy her outdoor toys that she wants and most of them have been used a few times then forgotten about as she prefers to watch tv.

We told her that we will look at how much she plays with her current toys before we can consider buying her a trampoline. She recently had her bike serviced so that she can use it more/get outside a bit more during the summer but that's hardly been used too.

I personally can't justify getting a trampoline that will hardly be used. She has a whale of a time when she uses it at her cousin's house but it's always a novelty to play with toys you don't have.

She also wants us to get chickens and a pet at our house too...that's another thing we need to think about. Can't justify a pet if she's not here to look after it and my partner works away a lot and I'm going back to work in August. 🤷‍♀️

Sorry, I just needed to vent a bit about it! Thanks.

OP posts:

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/06/2018 14:16

@Digitsllife27 - I don’t suppose you know anyone with a trampoline that isn’t getting used, who’d lend it to you for a while to see if your sd’s interest in it stays or flags, and get one if she does really use it?

SoddingUnicorns · 03/06/2018 14:17

I always hated the idea and then ended up being given a small one (6ft) for DS1 when he was wee, it’s now been upgraded to a 14ft and it’s by far the most used toy in our garden. Pretty it ain’t, but fuck it, the garden is there for the bairns not me.

swimmerlab · 03/06/2018 14:23

My children lose interest in everything as soon as they've got it but our trampoline is an exception to this. It is used daily and in terms of cost per use is much cheaper than many of the discarded toys we've had.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/06/2018 14:28

We have one. My Dc love the trampoline park and will use ours only when other kids are over (rare). So it would be a no from me.

I just have to find a way of getting rid of it.

Inkspellme · 03/06/2018 14:35

We had one for years. With a safety net and strict rules they are as safe as swings, slides etc. One child on at a time. Always close the safety net. They were our rules and in ten years we had no injuries.

Best thing we ever bought for the garden. Friends of our dug a hole the width of the trampoline and deep enough to allow it to be used. It looked good in the garden - especially when her boys got older and they got rid of the safety net.

bluedabadeedabadoo · 03/06/2018 16:07

We got one for my SD about 10 years ago when she was 6. She got many years use out of it and now my son whose 6 uses it too so definitley has its money's worth. I imagine that would be the same for you.

SandyY2K · 03/06/2018 17:47

It's natural to get fed up with toys after a while. Then gain interest again.

I think she'll find it's not that interesting playing on uour own though. She probably enjoys the fact that she had her cousin to use hers with.

Playing by yourself can be boring for children.

Make sure there's a safety net if you get one.

VikingBlonde · 05/06/2018 10:49

I have one, the kids love it. DSD's fight over it a bit but we try and adhere to the rules. It's as safe as a bike, surely? They zip themselves in and do bouncing. They like to build dens in it and on hot days I put the paddling pool in it so they can splash and bounce.

My garden is postage stamp small so the trampoline (6or 8 foot) dominates the space hugely. Over winter it was barely used so I threatened to take it away once but it's been played with tons more since. It is noisy big and ugly though. I'm sure my neighbours hate it but I'm not very keen on them either so hey ho. I don't let them out there until past 9 on a weekend as I think everyone deserves some peace from it but I'd still get DSD one for birthday or Xmas. Or as a reward for doing something super brilliant. Good luck!

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 05/06/2018 10:57

that's a good caveat for buying one...if it's not used then it'll be sold

OP she is really only with you one weekend per month, so do you expect her to be on it 24/7 when she is with you to prove that it is in use? You sound as if you really don't like her.

Southernstars · 10/06/2018 06:53

Don’t say no to a trampoline for your DSD and then in a few years get one for your DC.

Also the rules, if you don’t play with it it goes, plus all the other stipulations. Put it where she can see everyone if they are outside and she will use it, hide it away and she probably won’t.

Do you find her annoying OP?

Wallywobbles · 10/06/2018 06:57

The thing is most toys are not great if you have to play by yourself. This is not the case with TV.

user1471456357 · 10/06/2018 06:58

I hate the things, a few years ago a little boy here died after suffering an injury using one.

andadietcoke · 10/06/2018 07:01

I've just bought one for 4.5 yo DTs. Bought from fb for £50 with the intention of seeing how much they use it, and if a decent amount we'll upgrade to a Springfree one in time. So far, they love it, as does next door neighbour's daughter. It's a bit of an eyesore but it's worth it because they love it so much, and I'm hoping to use it for exercise too (I WFH and like the idea of 'bouncing it out' in particularly stressful days!

Original poster

Digitallife27 · 10/06/2018 08:01

@southernstars getting a trampoline has never been a thing that's been on my radar for future presents for my DD. shrug

If we did end up getting it it'll be put in the back corner at the back of the house (our main garden is the front of the house) but you can see the gazebo from that corner. No way would we put it in the front garden, thats for the veg garden we have and is an eyesore for something that won't be used every day.

I find her frustrating rather than annoying, we have had a lot of issues with personal hygiene and attitude. We teach her when she's with us but goes back to her mum's and it's gone out the window. The troubles with different household rules.

OP posts:

Original poster

Digitallife27 · 10/06/2018 08:06

@lastnightidreamtofpotatoes we would expect her to use it on a regular basis when she's here. She has plenty of outdoor toys at ours which were used about a handful of times and have been forgotten about / not played with for the past year or so - we got these at the beginning of last summer. So we don't want that situation happening with the next toy she wants. Personally I'm against buying big presents during the year - gifting it as a birthday or Christmas present would sit better.

OP posts:

June1966 · 10/06/2018 08:08

If you say no, it's going to look a bit awkward when her little sister gets one. I say when, not if, because I'm sure you'll face the same pressure from your own daughter. It would be a little unfair to make excuses for your yourself at that point by saying that it's because your own dd lives there constantly.

And the use of the bike - is anyone going with her? It's no surprise that an 8 year old doesn't play out on her bike on her own. She needs someone to go with. Is it even safe for her to go out on her bike on her own? If you don't want to go with her then your dh needs to step up.

TimeToDash · 10/06/2018 08:12

Kids love trampolines, get one! The pet might be harder. Could she have a hamster that she takes with her back and forth?

Oopsy41 · 10/06/2018 08:13

We've just got rid of our trampoline because it was on its last legs but can honestly say it's the best toy we've ever had. It got used so much, its really good fun and obviously great exercise. The kids were gutted when we got rid of it.

Summersnake · 10/06/2018 08:15

Why are you saying yes to everything she wants.....toys should be for birthdays and Christmas only,otherwise how will they appreciate what they have.

Fflamingo · 10/06/2018 08:19

Well she is almost old enough to be doing sport/ outdoor hobbies.

DH should be taking her on bike runs, taking her to tennis lessons, taking her to fun things where she mixes with others. Hanging about on her own at your house, no wonder she watches tv, would you be happy if your DC spends its time watching tv all weekend. Of course not. Get her out and about learning sport doing stuff, go on picnics, adventure playgrounds.
If your DH won't do his duty by her you should take her out and leave him with the wee one. Suddenly he might make an effort.

ApplesTheHare · 10/06/2018 08:20

Trampolines are great. DD's 3 and ours has been a lifesaver since she was 18 months. We've upgraded to a bigger, safer springfree one recently and she still plays every day. Worth it for both your DC I'd say.

Original poster

Digitallife27 · 10/06/2018 08:21

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius nope we don't know anyone who has a trampoline except for my partner's sister and her kids. Haha

OP posts:

Original poster

Digitallife27 · 10/06/2018 08:24

@Fflamingo her attitude has changed recently, she really doesn't like the outdoors. Spoke to her mum and she struggles to get her out too. She tried going on walks with her and it's a fight. We live in a pretty rural place. We try and get her out and she huffs and puffs so it's not like we don't do stuff with her...she just doesn't want to do it.

Hoping it's just a phase and she's not turning into a teen too early .

OP posts:

Fflamingo · 10/06/2018 08:25

Did you have siblings OP?
Part of the prob is probably having no one to play with. DPs should step up as she is only there occasionally.

Original poster

Digitallife27 · 10/06/2018 08:26

@summersnake we buy small presents on occasion when she's with us but we normally keep big presents for Christmas and birthdays.

OP posts:

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