Step daughter wants trampoline at our house

[Digitallife27]

Hi,

New to the boards.

So I have a step daughter (8) but also have a 10 month daughter with SD's Dad. SD stays with us one night a week and then every third weekend (Friday evening to Sunday afternoon), then we don't have her the following Monday after a weekend...

Anyway, she really wants a trampoline at our house because Dad will buy stuff for her. I have always found that trampolines end up being not used by people who I know who have them and a waste of garden space. We buy her outdoor toys that she wants and most of them have been used a few times then forgotten about as she prefers to watch tv.

We told her that we will look at how much she plays with her current toys before we can consider buying her a trampoline. She recently had her bike serviced so that she can use it more/get outside a bit more during the summer but that's hardly been used too.

I personally can't justify getting a trampoline that will hardly be used. She has a whale of a time when she uses it at her cousin's house but it's always a novelty to play with toys you don't have.

She also wants us to get chickens and a pet at our house too...that's another thing we need to think about. Can't justify a pet if she's not here to look after it and my partner works away a lot and I'm going back to work in August. 🤷‍♀️

Sorry, I just needed to vent a bit about it! Thanks.

[AJPTaylor]

my dd is effectively an only (10 year age gap). trampoline is one of the few toys you can play on by yourself. it sounds like you have plenty of room. they can be bought for 100.

[Fflamingo]

I don't think you can let an 8 year old make decisions as to what is best for her to do. I think you are going to have to 'play' with her eg make a den in the wood/garden, if she doesn't develop any skills sportswise/ craft wise or imagination wise how depressing will she be to have around as a teen? What did you like doing as a child?

[Digitallife27]

@June1966 yeah her mum usually goes out with her on the bikes. It's a really unorganised arrangement so we don't usually get the bike or helmet when she's with us (there's no contact between households on pick up as DH picks her up straight from school on our weekends) 🤷‍♀️

[Velvetbee]

Best thing we ever bought, they play on it every day it’s not actually raining. We’ve had it about 5 years.
The other ‘best value for money child entertainment’ here is the dog but don’t get a pet unless you’re completely committed.

[Digitallife27]

@timetodash her mum is planning on getting chickens for their house. That's like a pet isn't it?? Lol

[LadyPeacock]

Our trampoline gets an incredible amount of use. DS is always on there with his friends (we are terrible parents) and it never seems to lose it's appeal.

Ours is tucked round the side of the house so we can't actually see it and neither can the neighbours. We have a 13 x 9 ft oval job with a really hardcore safety net that comes inside the springs. I would say wait for a big present occasion and then spend more to get a good one with the best safety features (in terms of net, and springs being outside the bounce zone) that you can.

[Digitallife27]

@Fflamingo funny you should ask that, I used to go out for bike rides with my friend's in the area I grew up or just ride my bike in the garden in circles haha.

[Charley50]

My DA wasn't into 'going outdoors' at that age but we got him a trampoline and he was on it every day for years. He absolutely loves it. As others have said, it's been used far more than other stuff we'be bought.
Definitely worth the money. I wouldn't wait for her birthday unless it's before the summer holidays.

[OverTheHedgeHammy]

Some children only like using trampolines with other children, they get bored on their own.

Do you live close enough to her friendship group to be able to have a friend of hers over for a few hours?

[Digitallife27]

@Fflamingo oh yeah I am an only child so I just made up things to do myself when I was growing up but I was also allowed to play with the neighbour's kids etc. She is allowed to play with the neighbour's kids but it's a bit restricted

[Digitallife27]

@Fflamingo ...as in restricted at her mum's house. Our neighbour's are all retired around us and their grandkids are my DD's age.

[Digitallife27]

@OverTheHedgeHammy it's a difficult one sometimes, her friend's parents are her Mum's friends so we don't actually contact them. I tried once to see whether they were going to DSD's birthday and they didn't respond to me but they had communicated with her mum - and her birthdays are usually communicated with my partner to keep in involved.

[VikingBlonde]

Bikes are a pain to cart back and forth we got a 30£ old one to keep at the other parent's house to save the bother. Second hand trampoline would be cheaper than 100£ and she'd love it! And it's fun to play on alone as a previous poster pointed out.

[Bananasinpyjamas11]

It would be good to do one thing that DSD wants, to make her feel part of the house it’s worth it. Personally I would get her a trampoline

Not a pet though!

[VikingBlonde]

I had another pro-trampoline thought, if your garden has a trampoline that might make neighbours with GC's more likely to bring them round while they have them, giving your DSD a wider circle of friends and something for her to feel proud ownership of and feel pleased to share with other kids. My DCs go to their GM quite often but it's full on for her, if she has a similarly aged neighbour child she often encourages them to play together... just a thought. You might end up with a nice new crowd of mates forming.

Plus nearly ALL kids toys are an eyesore, especially while they're into brightly coloured battery operated plastic toot as toddlers.

[PatriciaHolm]

It's the trampoline that gets my otherwise allergic to the outdoors and exercise DD out. On her own mostly, sometimes with friends, even now at 13.

[Digitallife27]

@VikingBlonde the neighbour's grandkids are around 1-2 years old so when we hang out it's very baby related play dates involving the toys we already have or just for them to crawl/toddle around the garden.

We have a lot of wooden toys now because we're getting to that stage where the media is talking about reducing plastic etc so we made a conscious effort to do that with toy choices...they are really lovely and use a lot of imagination as the kid gets older. Even DSD makes structures with DD's toys (grimms rainbow). I'm not into certain educational teachings but understand the benefits of imaginative play with basic toys.

DSD is currently into making slime so we're encouraging that a bit now by getting her the stuff for it.

[Digitallife27]

DSD is currently enjoying making slime and helping her mum with their veg garden.

Creative and garden active at the moment.

It's a shame our veg patch wasn't ready for this year as she enjoys helping out when stuff is growing. She earns pocket money and helping in the garden earns her between 50p-£1 each time - she's learnt the perks of earning money haha. We teach her to save up to buy the things she wants with the money she earns here. She just spends her pocket money on sweets at her mums.

No mention about a trampoline for a while now.

[Digitallife27]

@VikingBlonde come to think of it, my friend's sister has two daughters the same ish age at DSD and we've had one "play date" which she really enjoyed. Lots of running around making dens and tree climbing in the garden which entertained them and wore them out.

[m0therofdragons]

We're getting s trampoline this summer and after asking friends who have them they all say they're used daily.

I'm concerned re broken limbs but I've taken advice from an ED consultant so have rules for dc to follow and plan to buy an igloo entry one.

[GahWhatever]

I'd get one. They aren't as expensive as a bike and she'll be outside but in the garden.
Your DD will get use of it soon enough. I would dig a hole for it though, so that the mat is at ground level, and then put a surround on for safety. Trampoline parks are much more dangerous than having your own with a surround.

[QueenOlives]

Just get one.

Your posts don't put you in a good light regarding your enjoyment of your step child, intended or not...

Of course it's not occurred to you to get one for YOUR child when they are only 10mths.
Like you I was precious about trampolines being eye sores. I laugh at myself now. I hope you can too in good time.

[Peanutbuttercups21]

I have ways avoided a trampoline

My DM is an A&E nurse and has seen LOTS of trampolining accidents

Parents always start out with rules: 1 at a time etc etc

After a few weeks it's the whole neighbourhood, a dog and two balls on the trampoline, and two kids get concussed and another breaks a leg....

[VikingBlonde]

We have a lot of wooden toys now because we're getting to that stage where the media is talking about reducing plastic etc so we made a conscious effort to do that with toy choices...

Yeah haha I promise you this blissful, wooden eco renewable imagination toy stage doesn't last we all start out with such intentions!

but you can get it all second hand and pass it on again to reduce waste

[VikingBlonde]

Get your friends sisters kids round more. I think your DSD sounds a bit bored round yours. Not that you're not making an effort with the slime etc, but she's 8. She needs some peer play. Best of luck and I was only meaning to gently rib you in the post before I hope it read like that and not meanly!!