When and how to stop paying

[Piratesue]

Have been with dh since dss was 4, it has always been very amicable and tbh i have probably been in touch with his ex than him. They don't really communicate, no big fall out I just think they were very young and they just never did. Anyway dh has paid the amount set by ex , it has never gone up (she has never asked) and we have also paid for extra stuff along the way. As far as I know it's never been an issue.
So dss is 19 and working pretty much full time (And from he says on more than min wage) has been the case for a few months.
So at what point does dh stop paying and how does he broach it? Or as ex has been so reasonable do we carry on.

[lunar1]

Parents don't stop being parents when a child becomes an adult. Their paths including the op will probably cross throughout their lives.

Why be deliberately antagonist when it's not needed? The decent thing is to give the ex a little notice, not just stop the direct debit without a word.

Luckily not everyone strives for the lowest common denominator.

[SandyY2K]

Whilst I understand the law is that you stop paying.... I very much doubt your DSS can live 100% off his wage alone.

So in reality, the Ex is still supporting him to some extent. Unless off course he pays his mum some money towards his keep. If he didn't before, he should start when the child support stops.

I'm not for a minute suggesting the payments go on for as long as he lives there BTW.

[HeckyPeck]

I think I'd contact her (phone call or pop in if things are amicable enough?) and give a month or two's notice. I imagine she'll be expecting it anyway.

[CurlyRover]

I would get your DP to send her an email to say maintenance will end on x date.

As for those saying he should have increased it over the years. There was obviously a family based arrangement where ex was obviously happy with the amount otherwise she would've asked for an increase.

[MeMyShelfandIkea]

My DH has paid the same amount of child maintenance for a number of years because it's substantially higher than CMS anyway. There's nothing to say OP's DH hasn't done the same, especially as it was an amount set by his ex plus they pay for extra stuff as well.

I reckon give her some transition time (3 months?) depending on everyone's particular circumstances - for instance would it impact on her ability to pay her rent/mortgage? But at 19yo the DS should be contributing at least something towards his keep if his mum needs/wants it.

[caithuait]

He's only 19 so why not give him the money for his own savings.