Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Why does he do this???

47 replies

Rubysmom13 · 15/04/2018 07:21

I cant find my original post, im new to this, thanks.
I have a very very dangerously smart 6 year old stepson. He comes out of his room a few times a day and comes to us and asks if we just called him.. when we reply no, he keeps saying it must be his imagination. I dont think this is normal or healthy.. now for the 2nd week running when he has just about finished his lunch, he will start choking, vomit some up and say he thinks something is stuck in his throat.. im not used to this behaviour.. i have a 21, 18, 14 year old and now 6 month old and never ever have they done this.. what do i do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SandyY2K · 15/04/2018 11:27

I agree ...He wants some attention. Can you play some family board games with him.

A 6 year old in his room for what sounds like most of the day isn't right...He must be so lonely.

NellysKnickers · 15/04/2018 11:31

Poor kid, he’s wanting attention, maybe the food thing is anxiety, this is quite a sad post.

Original poster

Rubysmom13 · 15/04/2018 13:38

Hi, we do lots of things with him. He likes to play his ps4, and watches music clips on you tube. I spend alot of time with him and his dad does when not at work. We have him sunday am until weds am..his mother has just had a baby aswell and she has noooooo time for him.
Dangerously smart, yes, plays adult mind games..says things a 6 year doesnt usually say and at times its scarey..i do my best, ive taught him everything from manners to using his cutlery to writing his name.. bcus his maternal is in my eyes lazy with no time for him. I do my best, i have kids also and work.
Oh and also when we do go out, we always make it about him. Even my 14year old misses out alot.

OP posts:

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 13:44

Don't ever let your disapproval of his mother show.

What do you mean by adult mind games?

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 13:45

And what sort of age - inappropriate things does he say?

ScoobyGangMember · 15/04/2018 13:48

Things he's picked up from the PS4 and YouTube, presumably.

Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 13:48

He plays adult mind games - a six year old?

Fuck sake. I honestly despair at some of these step family threads

SoupDragon · 15/04/2018 14:04

He likes to play his ps4, and watches music clips on you tube

He is 6 FFS.

GertrudeCB · 15/04/2018 14:08

Adult mind games? Seriously, he is a kid. And has probably picked up on the glaringly obvious fact that you don't like him.

Original poster

Rubysmom13 · 15/04/2018 14:18

He only plays lego and Minecraft on ps4.. as for youtube his mum got him doing that.theym music videos are only kids boy bands not our average music clip. I told him youtube isnt really for kids.
As for the mindgames, i guess its pretty hard to explain over text. And for people to say i dont like him... those are pretty harsh comments.. and as ive never had this behaviour from my kids, thats why im stumped.. and my kids are also from a broken family, but have never acted like this either..
I came here for a bit of support and advice, not to get judged or beat down. But thank you anyway ❤

OP posts:

Arapaima · 15/04/2018 14:20

Can you give an example of the adult mind games or the inappropriate things he says? Because neither of the things in your OP sound like that.

Arapaima · 15/04/2018 14:22

I understand that you haven't seen this behaviour in your own DC and it's puzzling for you. But what I don't understand is exactly what the problem is? Neither of the examples you've given sound that bad?

Bringonspring · 15/04/2018 14:24

Yes examples of adult mind games, he is 6!!!

PoisonousSmurf · 15/04/2018 14:31

Op, you sound like you don't like him at all! Be the grown up and stop being so nasty to that poor child.

LucyMorningStar · 15/04/2018 16:37

You're really not making much sense OP. From what you've said it seems the boy is looking for company. Fair enough if you think he gets plenty of attention, you're the one living it so you know better.

But unless you're prepared to actually explain what it is that bothers you with examples and details then don't bother getting offended at the responses. Nobody here has a crystal ball or can read your mind.

lunar1 · 15/04/2018 18:16

He's not playing adult mind games, he's 6. Start seeing him as he is, a young child, not the malevolent character you have built him up to be.

colditz · 15/04/2018 18:23

He's not dangerous and he's not playing mind games. He's desperate for positive attention. He's asking if you called him because he's hoping someone did. he makes days out 'all about him' because he is six and that is normal and age appropriate developmental behaviour for a six year old. Engage with him on an age appropriate level. He hasn't got any siblings to play with - all yours are older and had each other growing up, and now he's got a 6 month old usurper. Where's his dad in all this?

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 15/04/2018 22:31

If he’s six I’d want him out of his room and sharing the living space, taking him to activities and giving him attention. Scouts, sports, computer clubs, whatever suits him. Cinema, playground.

Nurturing time. If he thinks things are stuck in his throat it’s like a cry for help.

This little boy needs love and care.

waterrat · 16/04/2018 19:50

Oh my god - get him out of that room and stop letting him watch youtube and play games. I have a 6 year old there is absolutely no way that is normal for that age! I do not know any children that age who have that sort of access and are left on their own to do video games.

he should be in the park/ playing with friends/ down with the family - it's tragic him coming out of his room trying to get your attention like that. poor kid..

Dancingmonkey87 · 16/04/2018 20:34

You don’t sound very complimentary about him he’s a child he’s literally had his df having a new baby and step dc and now his
Mothers. Surely your dp can’t take him to the park the play area, cinema. Does he get any one to one time?

privateporcupine · 16/04/2018 21:51

It is a little bit heartbreaking to think he’s purposely asking if you called him, knowing you didn’t, but wishing you had. Not a little actually, a bloody lot

Mymiraclebaba · 17/04/2018 00:46

I can understand where your coming from, we have 3 ps4s in our house, so dont feel too bad. 1 for dad, 1 each for the kids,not just for games but for bluray videos.
Strp children can be hard at times,i know,mine manipulates..he will ask you the colour of something he already knows,then when you tell him the colour it will say well its not really that colour its this colour, you say no its this colour..he will keep going and then when you break and agree to his level,he instantly turns around and says no its this ...and he says the correct colour.. i bought pizza for dinner,he comes over to me and says i dont feel like pizza,i said well its pizza for dinner,to which he replied,im surprised you bought pizza without asking me first. . Hes nearly 7 years old. As for time in their bedrooms,its not a bad thing.my kids to it to study, music practice,watch tv,so again dont feel bad.every household is different. I dont feel you hate your stepson,i think he pushes your buttons.. just have strict boundaries,and once hes used to them,he should be better. Kids like rules and boundaries.🍀

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread