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Step-parenting

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Original poster

DSD chocolate coveting!

97 replies

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:04

Every day I treat myself to a small bag of my favourite chocolates. Occasionally when DH does to the store he'll pick me up a bag. DSD has started to ask for the very same kind of chocolates whereas she was never into them before. Why do I feel so irritated by this? It means I have to hide my chocolate stash in my bedroom instead of in the kitchen cupboard like I used to, But why do I feel so irrationally pissed off?

I have not said anything to DSD or DH, nor do I intend to. I simply want to understand why I feel so territorial over a brand of sodding chocolate. I feel like a crazy woman.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StormTreader · 09/04/2018 18:05

MsGameandWatching I seem to have offended you personally despite having posted nothing spiteful whatsoever, and the OP seems to have as well. You however are being rather persistently vicious towards me, I'd even say spiteful. Are you feeling quite alright?

PerfectPenquins · 09/04/2018 18:16

My god not you again! Youre oh really needs to get shot of you and take the baby you are an awful human being let alone parent or step parent what about your first daughters? Have you made any flaming effort with them yet?

MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 18:32

I'm perfectly fine thanks for asking 😊. I do find myself rather struggling with your inability to comprehend that what you posted with regards to the difficulties you claim this grown woman is facing can also be applied directly to the 8 year old child.

You said:-

I suspect its because you already have to share so much with her - your partner, your home, your time.

Clearly this also applies to the child too, who has to share her father, her home, her time, but in your subsequent post you categorically said this was not the case when it obviously is. Made me think you must be rather dim that you couldn't see it. And the fact that you could sympathise that Chocolate Copying from an 8 year old little girl might be enough to tip a grown woman over the edge made me think you must be rather spiteful too. Hence "Spiteful Stupidity" which I stand by.

I'm not being "vicious" towards you but it doesn't surprise me that a person who can sympathise and agree with an OP such as this one might think that.

MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 18:38

Oh and your suggestion that OP turn to chocolate liqueurs so that the child couldn't "muscle in for at least five years" said so much too.

everybodysang · 09/04/2018 18:49

Gosh this is sad.

I had two DSC, now 16 and 18. The now-18 year old had a serious lack of impulse control with sweet things when he was young so we had to either not have them in the house or hide them away. I sometimes felt a bit resentful or annoyed about that. But that was MY problem because I was the adult, so I never, ever let him see that.

Be the adult in the situation. She's only little. Even if she acts older, she's still only eight.

(PS if anyone else has a kid who can't control themselves around sweets, DSD is now a very healthy, active 18 year old who is better at getting a balanced diet than we are, so there's hope!)

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 09/04/2018 19:53

I think if chocolate is your only problem, you are all pretty fine!

It might even be her copying you, which is actually quite nice when you think about it.

WhiteCat1704 · 09/04/2018 21:08

Bleh...copying is bloody annoying..
My SD aged 15 at the time copied my nail colour, my hair style, the way I was wearing specific outfits and even my baths! I would very very rarely have a bath but on the same bloody evening she would have one too..and announce to DH she was having one..
It was annoying..in the same way my younger sister was annoying when stealing my clothes..
It has passed now thank god(both sister and SD)

At the time I rationalized to myself that she is copying me cause I must be impressive to her so I didn't react. But Inside I was annoyed and thought she was trying to compete with me in some wierd way..she wasn't 8 though..

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 21:11

I think if chocolate is your only problem, you are all pretty fine!

It’s really, really not.

KalaLaka · 09/04/2018 22:42

The OP is a stepmother but is also a person, and is allowed to have feelings as irrational as anyone. Having a feeling of "waaah, but that's mine!" is human, we don't become some saintly ethereal entity simply because we are in a relationship with someone with a child.

That's utterly ridiculous. No one becomes a saint when they have a child, step or otherwise. You just have to start putting yourself second in a lot of things, as you have a child's wellbeing to consider. My daughters have both copied little things from their stepdad: I'd be shocked (and single) if he reacted like this. You can't be this selfish when you're a parent.

Poor, poor little girl. And to second a pp: she's 8. She's mentally 8. Not 13. She may have to deal with a lot more than an 8year old should have to: that's not her fault.

takeittakeit · 09/04/2018 23:01

Woe betide anyone who dares touch my Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps - they are mine, mine and more mine!!

DCS and now SDCs have all decided this is their favourite flavour too - I hide my stash and have some in the cupboard for them. They know not to eat the last packet in the cupboard because that is mine, mine and more mine!!!

I get your stress OP!

KalaLaka · 09/04/2018 23:03

takeittakeit but you wouldn't pretend to like a different flavour to prove a weird, vindictive point like the OP, would you?

takeittakeit · 09/04/2018 23:19

No - they would all know I was lying!

There is only one crisp in my life!!

Schmonday · 09/04/2018 23:53

I wonder if this would work with vegetables?

laloup1 · 10/04/2018 06:52

Peppers - it’s just chocolate!
She wants the same as you - it’s cute!! And she sees her dad do something lovely for you so she wants in on the action - that sounds normal to me.
I’d forget trying different chocolate and embrace the situation. Eg Share your bag with her. Life evolves and this sounds a small way to create a little family connection.

laloup1 · 10/04/2018 06:55

(Having read the whole thread after I posted I do hope this is just about losing a touch of reality/perspective due to chocolate addiction!)

Glug44 · 10/04/2018 06:58

Regardless of your size a daily bag of chocolates is a very bad example to set on a little girl.

pigeondujour · 10/04/2018 07:07

God you sound like an absolute horror. Poor kid.

LongWavyHair · 10/04/2018 07:38

But it's just chocolate. Look, I know kids can be irritating little buggers at times but you really can't let this bother you. Pick your battles!

Wdigin2this · 10/04/2018 07:49

Wow, you sure got a flaming on here!
Firstly, I understand where you're coming from, kids even when they're your own, drive you demented on times, but you know don't you, that this is irrational, and you have to get over it.
Secondly, the clue is, you've just had a baby, which is going to change the way you view your current life position, and it's certainly going to change your DSC's confidence, and understanding of her position in the family..
My advice, grit your teeth, hide your stash and fake it til you make it!

LiteraryDevil · 10/04/2018 07:56

I'd concern yourself more with the abusive relationship you are in as per your previous posts. Not sure why you are staying in an abusive relationship. Sounds like you are projecting onto your step daughter.

Follyfoot · 10/04/2018 07:58

Your poor poor DSD. I assume she is the one you call 'horrific' elsewhere.

Americantan · 10/04/2018 09:32

Based on this and other threads, I get a sense of extreme unease about the children living in this household

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