Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Original poster

DSD chocolate coveting!

97 replies

PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:04

Every day I treat myself to a small bag of my favourite chocolates. Occasionally when DH does to the store he'll pick me up a bag. DSD has started to ask for the very same kind of chocolates whereas she was never into them before. Why do I feel so irritated by this? It means I have to hide my chocolate stash in my bedroom instead of in the kitchen cupboard like I used to, But why do I feel so irrationally pissed off?

I have not said anything to DSD or DH, nor do I intend to. I simply want to understand why I feel so territorial over a brand of sodding chocolate. I feel like a crazy woman.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
stitchglitched · 09/04/2018 14:43

Isn't she about 6 or something? Do you like what you've sunk to?

Original poster
PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:44

ok let me clarify this sentence:

she got upset when someone (i.e. me) ate her chocolates.

That's the way she worded it "WHO HAS EATEN MYYYYYYY CHOCOLATES"

OP posts:
PretABoire · 09/04/2018 14:44

I like any chocolate that I see

If I saw you eating a daily mars bar I'm sure I could rustle up a special hankering for them

Original poster
PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:44

She's 8. But mentally 13. No joke.

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 14:44

Why do you feel so irritated by this?

Because you're very petty obviously.

stitchglitched · 09/04/2018 14:46

She sounds mentally older than you then.

ShirleyValentineswall · 09/04/2018 14:47

Anyhoo, I'll switch to a different brand and see what happens.

Hmm
PretABoire · 09/04/2018 14:48

In all seriousness though this is absurdly petty - so your step daughter eats, likes things, and speaks?! The little brat. Maybe you can get her a kennel for outside like the animal she clearly is.

Stop looking for reasons to get upset - you sound incredibly jealous. Far more than your DSD comes across from what you've written. Sounds like you need some alone time to reflect on why you're so bitter and resentful, and make a decision on whether you can get over yourself not being the most special-est, best-est and most unique-est female in the house and start behaving before your attitude overflows and damages this child.

Bluebell9 · 09/04/2018 14:48

Peppers I'm a step mum too and it can be annoying when you can't have anything to yourself!
Do you get on with your DSD?

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/04/2018 14:48

And what age are you OP?

Can I ask, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I remember some of your previous threads, are you on the autistic spectrum? Or have additional needs?

userabcname · 09/04/2018 14:49

I think this is just what children do to be honest. I remember doing it to my mum as a child. Her favourite crisps were salt and vinegar, therefore so were mine! Her favourite chocolate was a Twirl so lo and behold my favourite also became a Twirl. Drove her batty but I didn't realise at the time - she's told me now I'm an adult and that she had to buy her own secret stash too. I wouldn't read too much into it - just keep yours elsewhere and don't worry about it.

00100001 · 09/04/2018 14:49

I'm failing to see what your issue is... :/

She's 8 years old, and Dad and Ste-Mum have had a baby about 7 months ago, which no doubt takes attention away from her, and will cause the 8 year old to have somewhat mixed emotions - emotions she probably can't fully understand or express.

Maybe, it's actually just her way of getting some attention/connection or a call-out for help from you or DH since the baby was born?

Slitherout · 09/04/2018 14:49

Hate to say it but I think PretABoire is right and if you 'set a trap' you'll just get more irritated when, seeing you eat them day in day out, she probably very naturally develops a hankering for the new choice. That's how advertising works after all, you see something often enough and you want it. I'm very indifferent to Mars bars but I bet if I saw someone close to me eating one every single day I'd either really hanker for one or completely get sick of them. Didn't mean she's necessarily trying to copy you.

MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 14:50

I'm a step mum too and it can be annoying when you can't have anything to yoursellf

Best mount an armed guard at all the local supermarkets then. Stop the general public from purchasing and consuming your brand of confectionary.

Utterly pathetic Hmm

Original poster
PeppersTheCat · 09/04/2018 14:50

ok guys, thanks for the opinions. Still haven't gotten to the bottom of why I feel this way. I know I'm being irrational - this is not news to me, hence why I stated it in the OP. But I guess you can use this thread to flame me.

cheerio.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/04/2018 14:51

Is it just me that finds this thread really sad? Sad

EskSmith · 09/04/2018 14:52

As others have said, yes she mayne copying you. Which is sweet and entirely natural in an 8 year old. Plus if uou have just had a baby she is bound to feel insecure. CUT HER SOME SLACK.
Reading between the lines Es of your post it is clear you don't like her and this is clouding your judgement.

pestilentialboundary · 09/04/2018 14:52

Not alone Bertrand Sad

MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 14:53

Sad yes but I don't feel shocked by it. Many of the threads on this board are similarly petty and spiteful, just not quite as open about it.

00100001 · 09/04/2018 14:57

"Still haven't gotten to the bottom of why I feel this way. "

it's because you resent the 8 year old SD, now you have your own child.
Your PFB is more important that SD - so you will pick up on every tiny little thing that the kid does.

raindropsandsunshine · 09/04/2018 14:58

This is all very odd. If you like it and she likes it, great! You can share an enjoyment of them together.

TheJoyOfSox · 09/04/2018 15:01

I understand op. It was your ‘thing’ that DH bought for you, now it’s not yours it’s just chocolate that he buys for you and his daughter.
Could you ask for a can of gin & tonic or Jack Daniels & cola instead? (That’s what I’d do) or a bitter chocolate , sea salted chocolate etc that a child is less likely to like.
Congratulations on your new baby and your weight loss.

StormTreader · 09/04/2018 15:07

I dont think its spiteful at all, the OP said right from the start that she was aware it was totally irrational to feel like this, but that doesnt mean she doesnt, feelings do their own thing. Its how you act on them that makes the difference, the OP has already said that she has not tried to stop her DSD asking for or getting the chocolate.

I suspect its because you already have to share so much with her - your partner, your home, your time. The chocolates were one of the few things that were "just for you" and now she's decided that shes in the middle of that as well. It's not wrong to want to not always feel joint-second in everything, sometimes you want something that is 100% yours. Maybe move to liquor chocolates? She won't be able to muscle in with those for another 5 years or so :)

lunar1 · 09/04/2018 15:08

You feel this way because you have a bloody spiteful streak and you want to stir up trouble with her. I hope you dp sees through your nasty games and stops you using his child as a toy.

I thought this was lighthearted from your first two comments.

MsGameandWatching · 09/04/2018 15:10

All the whinging about the hard time step mothers get on MN. This kind of thread is why.