I'm at a total odds as to what to do in this situation.
Blended family. Me with DD7, DS6. Him with DD7. And our shared baby.
I find DSD to be a very difficult child. She is loud, overbearing, nosy, bossy, manipulative, and at times, downright mean. I know I sound like a cow describing her this way, but it's true and I am not the only one who has noticed. Teachers and friends of the family comment on her disruptive and competitive behaviour.
My mental health is not ideal and I have autism, so I spend most of the time while she is here in a state of confusion and distress. She will often sit on me when I am breastfeeding the baby (despite me asking politely that she does not), she chews food in my ear and then announces with a grin "I love chewing in people's ears", she shouts at my children, she lies (saying I have shouted at her when I have not), last year she tried to persuade my partner to buy her mother a valentines card, she comments on my postnatal body and compares it to her mum's (skinny) body, she is mean spirited towards me during games (we play xbox, etc).
I'm so tired and stressed and (dare I say) scared by her - because she is unpredictable. We could be having lovely one-to-one time together bonding over a shared activity and then BAM - she is mean, totally unprovoked. I've tried hiding in the bedroom but DP says I am nasty and "abusing her" by hiding. I've just found out we have her for mothers day and I admit I have cried.
All the advice online says stepparents should not discipline stepkids. Also last year during court custody battle she lied to the Cafcass officer and said I shouted at her; consequently the Cafcass recommendations stated that I "should not challenge her behaviour".
DP does attempt to discipline her, however a lot of the time she is only mean to me when he is out of earshot.
I'm so tired. If I complain about her I sound like a bitch and a nasty person.