Step daughters behaviour

[exhausted79]

I have two step daughters, and 3 other children, two with my current partner of 11 years. my eldest step daughter who is also the eldest child by 3 weeks has become a complete nightmare. My step daughters both came to live with us 7 years ago after their alcoholic mother attempted suicide for the 2nd time. A court issued my partner with a residence order and told his ex to get counselling and herself out. We got counselling for the two girls and have had a family support worker and all manner of counsellors etc. My younger step daughter can be a pain like all kids so nothing over the top there. I get little support from her father who works nights. Shes lied about me in the past to the point the police and social services have been involved. They realised she was lying when her story changed several times. I know shes hurt and angry and their mother has only just started having regular contact with them now unsupervised. My step daughter is still lying about me, stealing, being rude and cheeky, refusing to behave and do what i have asked her to do. I have told my partner that she should now go to live with her mother and that I cannot look after her anymore. I ended up on anti depressants, shes run away from home and theres probably loads more. Dos anyone know what my rights are? I want to refuse to have her as its too much stress and my other children are being affected by it all, especially my two year old. I wanted to call social services and explain it to them but after one social worker made things up about me and my parter (she got the sack, we werent the only couple she had done this to) i am not keen to get them involved. If I take her to her moms and tell her mom that I dont want her back, I dont have to do i? Her dad feels its best she stays with her mom too as that is what she wants.

She hasn’t won, she has awful parents who don’t care about her

It’s not her fault if your relationship breaks down it’s his

update - her biological mother has agreed to have her and her sister for a couple of weeks to ease the strain (but asked for money towards her upkeep even though we have never had a penny from her!). I have told the other half he MUST arrange counselling for her now and i think we also need relationship counselling. He says a lot of things in anger. I totally get that shes his daughter and he wants to protect her, but he also needs to see that some things shouldn't be said in front of her and that in itself is not protecting her. She needs to see a united front and not us bickering over her behaviour. This also needs to come from her mother and nan. We also had to deal with the other halfs mother attempted suicide yesterday and a huge leak in the house so you can imagine the pressure in now mounting! Thank you all for your replies. Just hope we can get this all worked out as theres nothing more stressful than not getting on with someone.

He needs to act as the main parent rather than desperately shifting responsibility on everyone else. Working nights doesn't take away. Either he goes straight to sleep as he comes back and is then awake when they are back so can spend time with them before going to work, or he looks for work during the day.

These kids are being rejected by everyone. You want their mum to look after them, the mum is clearly mentally troubled so want their dad to look after them, and dad is... lazy?... and want you to do so. It's bad enough to be rejected by all those who should love you as an adult, how does it feel when you are kid and have no control over your own life?