It's so tough.
DP has two girls and so do I.
His oldest has no contact with her mum. So she gets from us, my family and also used to get something from her stepmum (his DD2's mum). She doesn't get anything from any extended family.
His youngest used to get from her mum (her mum died this year), us, her mums extended family, her god parents, her stepdad, her stepdads family and also my family.
My DD's get from us and my parents, plus their grandparents on their dads side. Their dad doesn't bother.
There is massive inequality looking at the four girls. His DD2 gets from many people and his DD1 and my girls get from much less.
We have always tried to treat them equally but often his DD2 wants nothing for Xmas because she either already has everything or the list of her present wishes have been passed round mum and stepdads family first.
Things are massively different this year, her mum is no longer around and her stepdad has been amazing, he has given us the list and first refusal on her wishes which means we will actually be able to get her something she wants.
His DD1 is living with her bf and they both have excellent jobs so they don't want much and we spend less on DD1 but buy for her bf too.
My DD1 is at uni and although an adult, is a broke adult. She is getting a car stereo and a few bits.
The most has been spent on my DD2 who is 12 and really gets very little from anyone else.
Overall it's worked out ok, they are all getting what they have asked for. Some years there has been more money spent on one or two than the others, it just depends on what they want. DSD1 wanted a surfboard one year, my two have had laptops, DSD2 has had a kindle from us.
I would concentrate on making sure that they get what they asked for and have roughly the same size of presents to open regardless of the cost.