Advice needed

[Moonstarsandback]

Hi,

This may be a long post as I never use forums so have a feeling I might ramble in trying to get my story across but I’m in need of impartial advice...

My husband (and father of my two children) and I separated in January and I got together with my current partner about 3 months later. He too has two children and both of our older children attend the same small school.

His ex wife has known for six months that we’ve been seeing each other and that we’re serious. She refuses to let him see me when he has their children with him (despite them knowing me already), makes my life hell on school runs (hands me his belongings and wishes me luck with his cast offs in front of all other parents) and takes their children away from him at last minute if she sees fit.

I want to clear the air and address any issues she feels she may have with me (she has never spoken to me before, she doesn’t know me), in a neutral setting away from the children (she has no problem in making a scene in front of my two little ones). My partner is worried that if I do this, she will take the children away from him yet again. However, I can’t take any more of living like this. I don’t have a temper and simply want to talk to enable us all to just move on with our lives (my ex husband has allowed me to plus allowing my partner to spend time with my children).

I don’t want to replace her. What I do want is to spend some time getting to know her children properly. I want to watch them grow, know what makes them happy and sad, play with them, teach them and everything in between. I just want the opportunity to care for them in the same way I care about my partner, they’re a part of him.

It’s been six months of abuse and not being allowed anywhere near his children.
I don’t want to go behind my partner’s back and contact her but equally, it just seems like stalemate. She won’t even allow us to spend an hour at the park with all four of our children, it just feels like someone is playing God with my life, happiness and future.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Last post was for different thread!
Apologies OP & others!

OP, your posts are somewhat contradictory - what is all this about the school run... she... makes my life hell on school runs (hands me his belongings and wishes me luck with his cast offs in front of all other parents) whose belongings? You say you don't know each other and that she won't let you see your DPs children.

You say elsewhere that she got together with someone within 'a few weeks...' yet you did exactly the same thing. 3 months is no time at all. You split up in January, it's only just December and yet you are demanding to be treated like a the queen bee.

And it's not her that's not letting you see your DP's children btw. It's your DP, who is clearly trying to protect his children from all this emotional turmoil.

You're moving way too fast, expecting way too much of everybody, and are putting too many demands on everyone. Back off. There are children involved here.