Is it normal

[TwoDots]

For all you experienced step mums out there, is it normal to feel waves of sadness? Not so much about the children but about high involvement with an ex, and watching your partner actively parent with another woman. Or does the fact I feel this (not always) mean I’m probably not cut out for step mum life?

Does anyone else feel like this and are still happy in your relationship?

That’s the same as my situation, she doesn’t want him but wants to be able to control him and dictate her life . The ex here also sent selfies (awful ones at that ) and called for no reason etc etc . One day it will change I just hope it doesn’t go as far as our situation because it’s been pathetic and only hurts the children .

The EW sounds like she hasn’t emotionally detached and wants a reaction.

My OH (we’re engaged) has the same challenge. Him and the EW have been separated for almost 5 years, divorced for almost 4.

They only communicate via email or text (and it’s meant to be only about child matters). There’s a regular diatribe of vitriol from the EW. They were both ordered by a judge (when finalising child contact) to attend a SIPP course. My OH attended. The EW refused as she’s apparently a wounderful mum (in her words) and no one can tell her how to parent (despite using the children as weapons and not letting them see their dad). That’s another story....

My OH said he learnt something very powerful on the SIPP course - you can’t control the other person.

So now when she yells (and swears) at him at pick ups and drop offs, or when she sends her shitty texts or emails he calmly walks away, or doesn’t engage. By engaging you are fuelling their fire.