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Original poster

Child maintenance and a new baby advice

91 replies

Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 11:35

So dp pays for SC the amount set via child maintenance, he pays directly standing order each month. I know I gets about £10 a month reduced as I have DS under the same roof which he classes as supporting.
My question is is the rate different if it's a new child who is biology his.? Or just the £10 a month reduced.
If it is going to be considerably less and we feel this is unfair on what his ex will get for SC then we hope to do our own arrangements with her maybe meet halfway. Ie if the money is going from 200pcm to say 150 we'll see if she would like to meet at 175maybe... Altho she does like to do it by the book even if it cuts her nose to spite her face.

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spewylewis · 10/08/2017 16:11

So much backtracking, manipulating and drip feeding here.

SerfTerf · 10/08/2017 16:11

Yeah I know we can carry on with the same figure but it's to whether the ex agrees.. Or wants it by the figure she's given... That's my point we wouldn't want the child to lose out of she's being a cow..

THAT^ is where you called her a cow. It's not about pants. It's about money.

FFS why can't people make an attempt at maturing and evolving and shedding petty jealousies where DC are involved?

Underthemoonlight · 10/08/2017 16:12

She might not have realised they were dirty tbh. How old is the DS if he's anything like mine he might have dumped the bag in the corner and she hasn't realised.

Surely your precious dp could pay the maintenance then pay half the child costs direct to the nursery?

Janeismymiddlename · 10/08/2017 16:13

I thouğht the whole point of the new system was to get regular payers off the books....if you read the literature, the paying parent doesn't need to accept using the CMS and the CMS will keep out of it as long as payments are made. All they do is calculate what is due. So either there is a history of non payment or procedures haven't been followed. See your MP if it is the latter as it would save the admin fee.

TheMythOfFingerprints · 10/08/2017 16:13

Op, inform the agency of new child, don't change amount on the direct debit he pays, buy more underwear, done.

Underthemoonlight · 10/08/2017 16:15

I also bet my bottom dollar he told cm about your DS living with you. This is totally a non issue and our dp can just pay as he currently is.

SerfTerf · 10/08/2017 16:15

@TheMythOfFingerprints has it all solved for you in one sentence OP.

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:15

OK brilliant. I have not backtracked. He is happy to keep the payments the same. It's whether his ex will. The child has a wardrobe and drawers here with everything he could need the same as my DS. Because that's the right thing to do.

I am far from desperate to big my partner up as I know he does everything he should and more which is probably more than most do.
All I wanted to know was whether If when the time comes and he rings cms and if they give a lower figure can he ask them to keep it the same or hope she agrees to. But as said previously she didn't like that it was 33p more going into her account than. What the paperwork stated. Lol

OP posts:
SerfTerf · 10/08/2017 16:16

Lol Hmm

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:17

I c an swear he honestly didn't inform them of my DS. They knew even I was like wtf how do they know. But they are linked to hmrc. So guess that's because I used to receive tax credits before he moved in.

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Underthemoonlight · 10/08/2017 16:18

Of course your bigging him up you make numberous references to him being much better than dead beat dad's. Does he want a medal? Having a bed and wardrobe is just standard basic need for a child I don't understand the need to disclose that like it's such an amazing thing he's done.

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:19

I have said to dp. Once he informs them. Keep payment the same and if she says she wants it done by the paperwork then so be it. Not much we can do.?

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chaplin1409 · 10/08/2017 16:20

I know it was quite a long time ago now but when dh and i got together and dh was going through csa they took my salary into consideration as I was able to help support my husband so he could pay more to ex. This was many years ago now and things have mot likely changed. It must be hard for everyone now, my dh and I had joint account from early on so everything was shared including supporting his son.

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:20

It wasn't meant to come across like that. He simply does what a dad should do and rightly so.

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Underthemoonlight · 10/08/2017 16:22

He does what most parents do around the world so why reference it?

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:22

They ve never asked for my income as of yet. Not sure they still do that on the new system. We will have to find out. Either way it's no problem whether they do or not. I have no problem in supporting SC same as he supports my DS in certain ways. That's life and that's what you take on when you combine two families. Xxx

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Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:23

It was simply to say he has no issue and try to explain myself. That's all.
I'd come on for advice not a bitch fest

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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2017 16:23

It's changed completely chaplin.

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:24

Yeah I thought it had wasn't sure I'd seen that in the paperwork was just about to check you've saved me a job

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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2017 16:25

I don't really get the issue OP. You're making out like she's going to willingly accept less money do it's "by the book", which is fine if it's what she wants. So you'd save a tenner a month, spend it on DSS when he's with you.

Not necessary for you to worry if out of some sort of unlikely obsession with the rules the woman insists on taking less money.

spewylewis · 10/08/2017 16:27

If she wants to receive what cms say, to the very penny, then so be it. Why would that be a problem for DP if he knows he is providing so much else for his DS in other ways?

And you didn't ask about keeping it the same, you asked about splitting the difference.

You called the ex a cow, so who started the bitchfest, really?

stitchglitched · 10/08/2017 16:27

Maybe she wanted to do it by the books because he hasn't always been reliable with maintenance in the past? Just keep the direct debit the same like TheMyth says, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:30

Yeah that was kind of my point we don't feel it's fair if the mother gets less but yes the difference would still be put aside for him. It was more of a wondering as to whether cms would allow the same higher payments. But like someone else said just put the money aside for the child somewhere else. Either way dss doesn't lose out in anyway.
Missed the comment about how old he was when he wet. He was 2.5. So I don't think he ties the jeans and boxers into a small bag.. Would of thought that of older. And the jeans etc were very visibility wet.
I personally would predict if everything was amicable like me and my ex.. Maybe in time it will be?

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AnneLovesGilbert · 10/08/2017 16:32

And you didn't ask about keeping it the same, you asked about splitting the difference.

^ this

Original poster
Mum2oneds · 10/08/2017 16:33

He has always been reliable which is why it's standing order as proof and not cash.
And true If she want to do it to the penny that's her choice. And he will keep paying the stuff she asked for.
And yeah I did say half way but whether half way or full amount it's whether she'd agree. It was an example really as he pays more than that example given. It was just a ball park figure x

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