I think my friends must by now be sick of my rantings. So rather than bother them I thought I would get another perspective and post on here, I will try to keep it as short as I can to explain how I'm feeling. I have been with my partner for 3 years. He had full custody of 2 children from his previous relationship, one of which was 11 and one of which was 9 at the time. They are now 14 and 11. They see their mum a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays. For a while things were great. I treated them as my own, cleaned up and decorated their rooms, cleaned and decorated pretty much the whole house as my partner had neglected it since his partner left in 2010. I felt sorry for them all, and threw myself into the role of step- parent 100%. I then decided to have my own baby, and he was born early 2016. We involved the girls 100%, even taking them to my 20 weeks scan which was something I didn't really want to do, but felt pressured by his family members that they weren't "left out" so we went ahead and did it. When he was born all was fine, it was their birthdays on the day my son was born, and a week later was the other child's birthday. I had a rough birth, forceps at the end, then haemorrhaged and was taken to theatre, ended up having 2 blood transfusions and was in hospital for 5 days so was feeling pretty lousy. After I went home I then had my wound infected where they had cut me, adding to the bad experience ...
when my son was 1 week old his parents came round and to cut a long story short his dad did nohhinf but wind me up, ask me why I had been so long in the toilet then throw a balloon in my face telling me to "put my face straight" . Needless to say I stuck up for myself, and threw it back at him. They promptly left. A week later I looked in my partners phone at his texts, because I knew it was odd his mum hasn't text me for a week. She had basically called me a nasty bastard, and said we could forget seeing her again as they'd made the effort to come see us and all I did was ignore them!! I had visitors all day long. My wound was agony. I had lost control of my bowels and front for a week, and was feeling pretty dam shit but I did do my best to entertain them. From that moment on I have never spoken to his mum and they see my son once a week, if that. Following ok from this, things went from bad to worse. The older daughter was almost expelled for bullying (she has always shown traits of bad behaviour) but it reached a new level and was causing me a great deal of stress as I was already having zero sleep through colic. She then started stealing my underwear and after going through her phone that had secretly been given to her by the grandma (we confiscated her old phone because of cyber bullying she was doing ) I found that she was sending naked pics to hundreds of men and boys (she was 12) she had been posing in my underwear on the photos, and the way she was talking it sounded as if she was having sex. For me this was the last straw and she went to stay with her mum for a months trial with a view to living there permanently. Her mum after the month refused to have her, but then realised she would be getting x amount of csa and agreed to keep her. The youngest has remained with us. My issue today is one of favourites. The youngest child goes to my partners mothers every day before school, and after school for tea. She often comes back with gifts, make up, tights , trainers etc from his mother. But nothing ever appears for my son. She did once buy some nappies, as my partner constantly reminds me, but it's hardly a treat is it ?! The thing which complicates things more is that the youngest isn't my partners biological child, she has been raised as his and he has custody. She doesn't know he isn't her dad. His mom is fully aware. Today he has come back from his moms with a Debenhams bag, and I knew right away the youngest girl had been treated (again) . It turns out she has bought her clothing and underwear. There was a top for my son, but she had spent a lot less on my son than she had on the girl. I have flown off the handle, as I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I feel like my
Son is treated less favourably by the grand parent, even though he is their flesh and blood! A lot of other little things have happened along the way, and i am seriously thinking of going it alone so I can start to feel happy again. I feel like ever since he was born they have ruined my experience of becoming a mum, as it has been stress after stress. Their attitude to parenting is digging your head in the sand. The elder daughter was being groomed. I was reading the conversations she was having with these men, their answer ? Wipe the phone of its contents. I wanted to take it to the police. I don't know whether to cut my losses and go it alone, but I truly
Don't want my son without his dad every day. We are happy when it is just the 3 of us, it's his baggage that is dragging me down. To make matters worse his ex partner is still on the mortgage and we can't get her off. She often threatens to sell the house from under us out of spite. I just need someone to talk to. It seems they all have no intention of telling the girl that my partner isn't her dad, and I feel the longer they leave it the worse it is going to be in the future for her to process it. The longer time goes on the more of a bond she is building with my son and one day she is going to learn he isn't her half brother at all. It's all really stressing me out. I've already been on anti depressants for a while, they did help me to feel calmer but I was so tired and I came off them. I'm so so tired of carrying all this stress around with me. I can't get my head around the fact that my partner can love equally a child that isn't his, in the same way he loves our son. Our son is his absolute double. Obviously the girl doesn't look anything like him and is starting to ask questions . I would just like to hear someone's perspective on it all as I feel like I'm losing my mind.