Change to access(Again)

[36plusandtrying]

Hi all,

My DH ex partner has requested another change to when SS stays with us. For the first time in a long time everyone seems really settled in the routine. I can see why she wants to change from eew to every week fri, sat. But it is to do something that suit her and that isn't really of interest to my 9 year old SS. If we say no, WW3 will break out ! In the past we've agreed to many changes to routine, with little to no flex from her side. We haven't gone down the legal route as we can think of better ways to spend the money ! I am being wrong to dig my heels in and say no ? DH will say yes to avoid the drama and would be happy not to have such a big break in between visits. Any advice ?

I'm not a step parent no but my DH is and he certainly doesn't have the same attitude to DS ,he sees him as one of the DC. I wouldn't be with him otherwise so it is extremely alien to me how some women go on about their dps DC as if there are in convience to them when they often or not see them on particular days. Where as step dads who live with the DC just get on with life which involves their step children. Thankfully DS SM is nothing like this which is why everyone gets on and there's zero issue on both sides.

If this was a one off, I could understand and accept everyone point of view. However access has changed countless times due to her moving at least 9 times. DSS has been in 3 schools and lived with 2 different step dads. (None of these moves has been work related, just her meeting new men) so I think I have a right to want a bit of stability for all our sakes!

Underthemoonlight I know this shouldn t be the case,, but the experience of a SD and SM are often very different. You can't have a clear understanding of being a SM by comparing it with your partners experience. You also don't know truly how your ex's partner feels, although perhaps you are not a nightmare ex so don't give her reason to complain

It's having difficult ex's which can make the SM experience so challenging. SM's literally can't do right, whereas a SD often isn't faced with the same challenges

I've noticed you constantly bash SM on here, and I don't think it's right unless you have first hand experience