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Step-parenting

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Original poster

I can't stand my partners kids

59 replies

Naomi12345 · 21/06/2017 16:52

I know it's gonna sound horrible, but I don't want to leave him just because of his kids.
My partner and I live together for a year now the problem I have is his kids( I can't stand them 3 and 9 year old). The agreement between him and his ex was every other weekend kids will be with us(and that was fine with me). We moved to new house, got kids rooms sorted shortly after that I got pregnant and he asked me not to have child and get termination done as he didn't think it he was ready to have another child..I have done termination at age of 28 and I realise that I might have difficulties to get pregnant when I want to but it's done.. Things have changed now his kids are around me during the week days too!! Nor only that when he goes to work I have to look after them!! I hate it and I don't know what to do! If I would of have my own child it might of felt different but at this point I don't want his kids around me apart from every other weekend as agreed. They mess the house up, they eat like pigs(I found food in their beds), they scream and shout, they are just spoiled brats! Should I tell him how I feel or should I just pack my stuff and leave? Sometimes I feel like locking myself in a room and leave them there crying( and I understand it's bad....). Thnx for advise..

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 01/07/2017 00:47

Id feel the same as you, especially if Id had to terminate a pregnancy. Youre still coming to terms with that. Then having to put up with all this. I wouldn't hate on children tho - but yes Id resent having to deal with them on such a frequent basis in the looking after role.. It would be different with a supportive partner. But you don't have that. Sorry, I couldnt go thru all this for the sake of a man. Way too tiring and life's too short. What a life..& likely for years, too. No way.

MistressDeeCee · 01/07/2017 00:48

& he's a selfish user.

MistressDeeCee · 01/07/2017 03:39

His ex had a lucky escape. The kids unfortunately have a dad who is regularly dumping them on a new partner they probably hardly know. This after him telling you terminating your pregnancy was only option. He'd have to fuck right off with all that..even reading your posts is making me tired. Youve said all the things you dont see why you should put up eith. Well, dont put up with them then. Tell him to sling his hook. Youre young, yet living like this. What for? Find someone who is free, and open to starting a family with you. Not one that has kids already, with 2 women taking care of childcare so he doesnt really have to.

Dibbles1967 · 01/07/2017 03:59

You resent him for pushing you into a termination. Did he ever acknowledge how this affected you or just cracked on getting his DC's rooms ready? (the absolute shit).

This relationship can't progress, so you need to make the break before the children get really hurt emotionally. They're innocent in all this & have already had to go through their parents break up.

Make it quick. You'll find someone to whom you are better suited xxxx Flowers

IrritatedUser1960 · 01/07/2017 04:14

Seriously he made you terminate your pregnancy because he isn't ready for another child and then makes you look after his kids.
What a totally insensitive bastard, I would be out of there in 5 seconds.

Identity1 · 25/07/2017 13:14

Have you seriously spoken to him about this, told him how you feel and how low you are? IMO your termination has had a massive effect on you. Perhaps you can consider some counselling? It's not the children's fault they are in this situation but their behaviour and standards around your house needs to be addressed. You are not their live in babysitter and your OH should be making arrangements with you and not telling you what arrangements are.

Loopytiles · 25/07/2017 13:25

You are being very unfair about his DC.

Sounds like you could do much better than him; and that you would much prefer a relationship with a man with no DC, which is fair enough.

WashingMatilda · 25/07/2017 16:35

user1471 urrrrr....she works full time too ffs.

OP, anything you do for his children is a bonus, not an obligation. If he was single he would just have to figure it out himself.

Your Step kids don't sound that bad tbh, I love mine and we have a great time together, but it's taken patience and mutual understanding. Sounds to me like you're just not ever going to get to that point, and that's understandable given the way your 'D'p has treated you.

If he can't appreciate your presence, make him appreciate your absence.

SilverBirchTree · 11/08/2017 14:18

You're 28- cut your losses and LTB.

The kids are a red herring. The issue is your horrible parter.

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