If left for an OW, is your ExLTPs/ExH still with them?

[DontMindTheStep]

My exh has a wife and young baby. His wife is not happy with teen step children. His marriage looks rocky and he says "things are bad".

My DH's ex left him for someone at work. She seems happy.

I do think both are determined to stay with OW and OM. They re married later than we did (my hubby and me) largely because they broke up with the OW/OM and then got back together.

My DC would be (naively) 'happy' if their Dad's marriage fails because they hate the arguments, but they get very distressed at the thought of not seeing much of the baby. He talks this through with them - and I don't because I have little inside info!

Have your ex's marriages/relationships lasted with OW or yours with OM?

Nice.

I think it's a combination of 7 year itch and a thing I never noticed until someone else pointed out to me, which is that some people (she said men, but maybe some women do it too) refuse to ever be single ... he'll stick around in a relationship however miserable he is until he has someone else to go on to, then he'll leave. Now that friend said that to me, I've noticed it in a few people. My own DB, though I love him very much, has never been single for more than 2 days in the past 20 years, and there have been a lot of relationships in that time (i.e. he hasn't been with the same person for 20 years).

I was pleased when my ex and the OW got married, it sort of meant it had been worth all the pain and shit it caused me. No DC involved which makes things easier.

Because I'm not a saint, I wasn't distraught to hear he's cheated on her several times since, and he got in touch with me a few years ago with his many regrets about his behaviour and request to meet up. 2 weeks after his second child was born.

He has, not so shockingly, remained a massive shit. But she knew the deal with she shacked up with him, so it's truly on her head.

Funnily enough, 4 or 5 years after he left me, I saw them both at a wedding and she got blind drunk and insisted on apologising to me and trying to explain why she'd done it. It was beyond embarrassing and they had a massive row an hour later in front of everyone. I told her she was truly welcome to him and have rarely felt so self possessed as I did that night

EX and OW lasted 4.5 yrs - he did walk out after 18 months, 2 yrs, 3 yrs and finally has not gone back 11 months later.

Pleased yes - because his relationship with his DCS is 100% better. It would have only got worse if he had stayed and it was really poor when he walked out.

Pleased that there is karma - she was absolutely malignant to the DCS and to me and is now bemoaning how shit it is being dumped and being on your own with DCS to care for. What goes around.......

Am in a very happy relationship right now and def do not want him back! Trust has still to return and even now my current DP thinks I am v wary and need to talk more. However, nothing will ever let me forget the gut wrenching feeling of when you find out and how shit it can make you feel, lonely and scared.

Get tired of those people who say - look we lasted so it was the right thing to do. Completely selfish and failing to recognise that just because it worked for you does not mean everyone else involved feels/felt the same. Leaving to go straight to someone else is completely different to being left literally holding the babies and at the whim of someone else .

I am a stronger person but emotionally am still scarred - trusting someone again, is a very hard thing to restore.

Is my life better - who knows, it is different, not what I planned but definitely on the up!

Yes, they have been together 12 years now, married for several of these and two DC. They are better suited than exH and I were and DD gets on with her stepmother as far as I can tell. I cannot see what would be gained by them splitting up, it would be awful all around.

dontmind I felt sad for her, she left her children behind and didn't have access to them growing up, and her DH waited until she was too old to have any more before coming out. She will never be my best friend but we get on well - I wanted to be on good terms with my stepsons' mum as I was bringing them up and it would have felt weird if I didn't try - and despite some questionable behaviour from her early on in our relationship I wouldn't wish her any harm. She was very good to me when I was pregnant, and has taken care of DS at times.

In our case, they got engaged 12 days after our decree absolute came through. Got pregnant 4 weeks later. Married when she was 6 months pregnant, separated when their son was 18 months, are in the process of getting divorced now. Ex see's all three of his children e.o.w now. It's a shit outcome for everyone really. But I can hardly say I'm surprised.

Mine left me for OW, but she found it hard having our DCs in their lives. They split after three years, then we got back together six months later. Think her not accepting the DCs was a deal breaker for him. Still not 100% I did the right thing taking him back, but we are happy at the moment.

They got engaged a month after the decree absolute and married a few months later. They have a DS now and have been married nearly 5 years, together for 7. I have heard he has cheated on her but I doubt she knows or would believe it as she thinks she is so special. They were both spectacularly evil to me and my DC and we are all no contact now. i do not wish them well at all but maybe because I am a cow rather than I care (because I don't).