My stepson makes me ill

[Kelliann1984]

Today 16:07 Kelliann1984

Please don't judge me, I just want help and advice.

I am a mum to 2 boys (13 and 3). My partner has a son from a previous who is 11. The 3 year old is mine and my partners.

So this is about my step son. 6 and a half years I have been with my partner and for the first 6 months it was dating and introducing the 2 older boys.
We took things slow as we needed to know that it was going to work. We fell in love and decided that we could start making further plans ect......

however very quickly I began to realise that this boy wasn't quiet what I had thought. He was rude, threw full on tantrums when he couldn't get his own way, kits out kicks, and has his dad wrapped around
His little finger (my partner gave in for an easy life and because he felt like a weeeknd dad.
Now fast forward 6 years and he's no better, we have him every weekend and come Friday morning I get in a bad mood because I know he is coming, my house gets treat like a junk yard, he has no respect and genuinely makes me ill.

He still throws tantrums like a
3 year old, he swears at us, screams around he house and scares me 3 year old.

This weekend he raised his fist to our 3 year old and was so angry and wanted to hit him. He then phones his mum screaming down the phone that he's going to smash our house up and says his dad has hit him (not true), he tells nasty lies, his behaviour isn't any better and myself and my partner have spoken about living apart. (Which is still in discussion).

He kicked me in the tummy while I was pregnant and picked a brick up from
The garden and threatened to throw it in my face (because I told him he couldn't play out after hurling abuse at me).

I feel so sad and lonely, I try so hard to be a good step parent, he comes on holiday abroad with us every year and every single year he spoils it.
After this year I have refused to go on holiday again. It got too much, my partner needed up bed bound for a few days due to being extremely poorly, and all he did was demand and call us horrible names, tells his dad to F off and calls me a stupid bi**h.

His mum is a crazy woman, And causes my partner a great deal of stress, very demanding and spits her dummy out when he won't do as she wants, so it results in her saying 'you won't see your son', truth be told she would be doing me a favour.

I try to support my partner but now I hate him coming, I hate weekends and I have to look after him every other weekend due to my partners work.

I feel so low and take medication to help me cope, but I'm just not coping very well. I cry all the time and my eldest son hates being round him, so he goes to his nans every weekend to be away from him.

What can I do, I'm
Scared of having another failed relationship and I'm
Scared of my partner having my 3 year old if we do split up and his son harming him.

Please help me

You need to be more assertive with your DP, tell him that his son will grow up socially outcast if he doesn't nip this in the bloody big bud! He cant go round kicking pregnant woman and punching little girls.

Plus , if you have to "keep your nose out" then refuse to have him whilst your DP is at work. Tell your DP that your children are scared of him and that as sorry as you are they come first and always will. Sounds like your DP is happy for you to be miserable as long as its brushed under the carpet

Any update on how things went? My 11 year old step son is out of control. He doesnt hit, but makes every weekend literal hell.

We have been together since he was 3. We have a 5 year old together.

Dss is just entitled and miserable per his parents. His mom is spiteful and angry. She once told dss to tell me that my son (his brother) will grow up to be a pos becasue his father and I are pos. She is a psychotic narcissist.

My DH was once really amazing, things are not so great latley and I'm becoming angry becasue when dss is here he is hiding away doing his own thing and mostly dss is too. What's the point especially now for him to come when they spend almost 0 time together? Besides me doing all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, cleaning some more. These two cant even get trash into the trash can.

I am miserable when he is here. I get it is not his fault but DH is not doing anything. I have given up and just give him what he wants becasue I dont feel like fighting or listening to him be awful to his little brother. His little brother who once adored him is starting to realize he isnt that great to be around.

He gets caught smoking, vaping, watching smutt, stealing, lying and breaking the rules all the time. As well as crap grades. And his parents just continue to give him whatever he wants and never follow through on punishments.

Im done fighting them. Im done hearing DH call me a nag and othet things not appropriate here becasue I ask for respect from dss before I give him something in return like my wifi password.

Obviously the problem there is his parents dont respect me so why should he.

Im beyond miserable in both my relationship and cant stand my dss adding to my misery.

Again I know it isnt his fault but no one is doing anything about it but me and it is taking what little I have left out of me.

Therapy is a no go, his mom refuses. Dad wont stand up for him. Poor kid has begged me to go to help him go to therapy. I beg his dad, his dad says he will do it, then nothing over and over.

I hate my life. Please tell me it will get better.