Would this annoy you?

[poppytc]

Hi everyone,

So my partner officially moved in over the weekend. He's been living here for a while now but this weekend he got the last of his stuff and brought it over.

I've always made room for his things etc and he said there wouldn't be much more, just some stuff he's been keeping in his mums loft. Most of it was his daughters toys - she's 12. Had absolutely no problem with this and made some room.

I came home on Sunday to an absolute bomb site. Everything he had brought home was just junk. And absolutely filthy. I wanted to just cry, I suffer from OCD and especially bad when things are messy and nothing has a home/place.

Anyway I started to sort through it all, to be fair, some of it he said we could throw away but not much.

What's really really frustrated me is his daughter, I've always had a brilliant relationship with her. Most of the stuff that was left were boxes of her stuff. There were jigsaw boxes with only 4 pieces in the box, old barbie accessories but no barbies. Craft type things that had all been used - old paints and glue that had all dried up etc. DVD cases with no dvds in. Even a huge play dough thing she played with years ago with all dried play dough stuck to it. Even her old knickers which made me feel quite sick as they hadn't been washed. She wouldn't let us get rid of any of it. There's literally 5 huge cardboard boxes full of her crap that she says she needs to keep. (Incase she happens to find the rest of the jigsaws or dvds or her barbies which is impossible) I have absolutely no where to put all this stuff. I'm so mad at my partner for but bringing it all and expecting me to find somewhere for it. When it all needs to go in the bin anyway. I've already bought new drawers for his clothes etc, I refuse to pay for anymore storage.

This is really stressing me out, I know it's not a massive problem but I just feel my house that I work so hard on keeping nice for everyone is just full of crap now. I'm not one to keep things, when my kids have stopped playing with their toys and out grown them, they go to the charity shop. He seems to be a hoarder (if that's the word)

Would this annoy you or am I being daft? Every time I walk past all this junk in my kitchen and dining room I just want to scream. He's lived here long enough to know what I'm like and how I suffer from OCD - had therapy and controlled it well up until now.

I do want him and his daughter to feel like this is their home too, I do everything I can for them both and I treat his daughter like she is my own when she's here. I always tell her this is her home and to feel comfortable. I just feel like I'm being take advantage of a little bit because I literally do everything for them both.

And yes I have told him this is stressing me out, he just keeps telling me he will sort it but who knows when that will be.

Anyway rant over lol

[poppytc]

I agree that some of these things are from her childhood and she may want to keep hold of some of it, that's absolutely fine. I understand that. When me and her dad started getting really serious I made a family box for us. She puts pictures she's drawn, receipts, tickets, anything really to look back at she can put in. So I am trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible. But to insist on keeping dried up glue and empty DVD cases is absolutely ridiculous.

Anyway it's in the loft now, she didn't end up coming last night so will see what she says at the weekend but I will be firm if she says she wants it back out in her room or something.

Thanks for everyone's advice x

[plastique]

You know that stuff needs to go, it's your house so your rules.
I'm a SM so I advise to nip it in the bud now! You like your house to be clutter free and that's how it's going to stay!! Like it or lump it!!

[user1471534185]

she either throws it away or it goes in the loft or to her mother's. Why should you have to deal with her rubbish.

[Petal02]

her mum clearly doesn't want these boxes and neither do the grand parents

So it's been ok for mum and grandma to get rid of all the rubbish, so surely it must also be ok for the OP to do the same, just so long as she does it sensitively?

[gingina]

We had this problem when DH moved in with me. We bought a shed for all his kids tat toys and 10 years on it is still full up! Every now and then DH and his kids spend a day sorting though it all, but nothing gets binned just moved around a bit!
My attitude is that as long as it's not in the house I don't mind.