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Step-parenting

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Adult step sons ... Not in work or education leaving at home

55 replies

springtime1974 · 01/07/2016 11:16

Hi everyone. I am almost at the end of my tether ... Please can you tell me if I am being crazy . Brief history : married for nearly 8 years . 2 children of our own ( aged 8 and 2 weeks old baby) ... Have had 2 step sons living with us full time for past 10 years . At present here is the situation : step son 1 is 22 and has never had a job more than a few weeks since he left school 5 years ago .. He spends his days doing what he likes , coming and going at all hours of the night . I have found a large bag of cannabis in his room and he constantly smells of the drug when he returns home late at night .He is not a bad person, he will help when I ask but he is not making any effort to get work or education . Step son 2 (just turned 18) is another story : dropped out of school last December ... Not worked a day since .he stays in bed until 3 pm , gets up and goes on his phone 24/7 and then stays up all night watching crap on to, leaves his clothes all over the bedroom floor ( which he shares with my 8 year old daughter) and never lifts a finger round the house. Has a history of going on websites to meet men for sex ( my husband actually caught him 2 weeks ago ... He was staying at my mother in laws house .. Went on Grindr and 2 men turned up outside while he had the intention of going off with them in their car, except my husband caught him in the act . He has said he doesn't care , he likes the risk and everyone does it . And all of this comes after he actually went with a guy in January and then made a complaint to the police that he had been attacked and drugged by this man... The case is still ongoing . He smokes canabis also and is now allowed to smoke cigarettes in the garden ... I detest smoking and eve n more so with the new baby .
I am reaching the end of my tether here . I have been fighting every day for the past few weeks with my husband over this situation , but it feels like he is not prepared to give either of them an ultimatum : get a job or move out !!!
I work full time but now I am on maternity leave I'm feeling like a stranger in my own home .
Is there anyone else who has this sort of issue or anyone who could advise me what to do ? Much appreciated xx.

OP posts:
Wdigin2this · 14/07/2016 08:56

So how are things this morning, has your husband contacted you yet?

SugarMiceInTheRain · 14/07/2016 09:08

Well done on taking that step and making a stand. I hope your husband grows a spine and tells his sons to ship out. They seriously need to take some responsibility for their own lives and kicking them out unfortunately is probably the only way to get them to do that in this situation. Has your husband been in touch yet? You and his youngest children really should be his priority - he ought to be frantically making sure you are ok.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 14/07/2016 13:33

Hope you are ok OP.

Very strong thing to do. And hopefully a massive wake up call to your DH about his sons being complete selfish arseholes.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 08/08/2016 10:28

How are you doing OP?
I hope things are getting better Flowers

Wdigin2this · 08/08/2016 20:52

Well done you, it's been some time since your last post, how are thing So!?

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