Becoming resentful

[Workitbabe]

Afternoon all.

I am beginning to get really pissed off. Bear with me!

DP's ds1 is 20 and lives with us (he goes to his Mums' every other weekend). He works full time and earns about £17k.
He doesn't pay anything towards anything. That's my first moan.

The weekends that he is here, his girlfriend is over (which co-incides with when dp's ds2 is over and when my 2 daughters are over). I see my girls in the week too, but dp's ds2 is only over every other weekend, so it feels we can never really do anything just the 6 of us.

I am fed up of that too. Even worse is that her parents don't like dsd1 and refuse for him to come to theirs, but yet their precious daughter is ok to say at our for the entire weekend. Double standards or what. It's ok for her to eat our food and use our water. Our water bill has gone up by £20 a month.

Fed up of it and becoming resentful.

I want to suggest to dp that the girlfriend only comes once a month. Is this reasonable?

Thanks

Hi there, sorry been meaning to come back on and respond.

I spoke to dp on Sunday evening and he says he is going to talk to dss about investing money for the future, but sadly dp has said this before and done nothing. He is a procrastinator, and tbh it is something that pisses me off in general. I think he should be investing money and paying some keep - I am not talking loads of money, but think it's only fair.

Re the gf, dp says he doesn't want dss to feel resentful towards him for cutting back the time she stays here. FFS. He has no back bone.

It has actually made me start to question my relationship in general.

Workit, I really get your point! I can't imagine why a 20 year old, on a reasonable wage, would expect to continue to be dependant on parents for his living! Yes, I'd understand if he was diligently saving for a deposit on his own place, and yes I would be happy to facilitate that...for a time! But, it appears that your DP's son is just happily living his life and spending his disposable income on anything he likes!
As regards the GF, I'd really not be happy about it either, but I don't think you're going to persuade your DP to do anything about it, because he doesn't want to rock his DS's boat!
So, basically you're faced with two choices, put up and shut up....or leave the scenario! Both damn hard choices, but there doesn't seem to be any middle ground! Or...you could, on at least one weekend a month, take your girls off for the weekend that they're all there! Spa, visit family, city break, theme park, nice hotel, London show...whatever is age appropriate and that you can afford really! Leave the rest of them to muddle through and come back refreshed??!