I want to pack their bags and have my home back

[chocolateorange88]

Had enough. Sick of being ignored. Sick of being treated like a dragon they are scared of when I ask for respect (in a respectful tone, I am prepared to give and take). Sick of avoiding my home when they are here. Sick of my partner not daring to deal with manipulative behaviour because it isn't naughty in an "obvious way". Sick of the fact that the youngest can ruin a toy of my daughters and it can't be dealt with effectively due to handovers. I want my space for myself and my child back and I feel there is no one I can rant to in real life. I love my partner and would never let my daughter treat him disrespectfully, therefore they have built a good relationship, I then feel guilty because I have no relationship with his kids. I don't even factor them into plans anymore, just please myself and my dd. I don't know why I'm posting or what I'm hoping to achieve. Just had enough :-(

[daftgeranium]

The partner is the problem here, it's clear that he's not doing any parenting of his kids. Unless he does this I suggest you consider whether this relationship is for you. He needs to wake up or he's going to lose you.

[PrettyBrightFireflies]

I also wonder why SMs are given SUCH a hard time and have to literally walk on egg shells making any comments or posts

There's a couple of chapters in the book "Stepmonster", by Wednesday Martin that explain the reasons for this - mainly to do with social conditioning, but she also includes some interesting analysis of findings made when the family and social dynamics of isolated tribal communities were studied, too.

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

Interesting and a bit depressing pretty - have read that. Iif more of us are becoming step parents, we need to be given a fair go of it! It doesn't seem like that is the case.