What we can do for our own DC....

[Wdigin2this]

....we maybe don't find so easy to do for DSC!
This thought has come up on quite a few different threads lately. Mostly, posters are talking about small children...toilet training, nappie changing, clearing up etc! I have done all of this for DSGC, and felt no different to when doing it for my own DGC! But, I would say there are things I gladly do for/give to my own adult DC, which I don't find so easy to do for/give willingly to my adult DSC...be it physical, emotional or financial.
Anyone else experience this!

That would drive me crazy too, having to watch while your DP gives and gives, literally feeding the entitled behaviour of his daughter. It must diminish the love between them.

Hormonal - its only in the past year I've realised how much wasted energy I spent on a non existent relationship with DSCs. I think DP is so fond of his kids that it felt like it had to work. But there's nothing there and when I refocused just on my own children I felt guilty for not making them number one. Now I have and it's so much more fulfilling being a parent to kids who reciprocate.

It's called nature- a bond with our children which perhaps isn't so easy to replicate when all our efforts are rebuffed. I guess we aren't machines we're people who react. The most infuriating thing though is when, having detached, one of dh's children say to him "Hormonal only cares about her own children".

Yes I expect that too in the future. I'm not sure when my DSCs will start to see that their own behaviour mattered too. The oldest DSC still seems a bit nonplussed as to why I'm not giving and giving to her anymore.

Well, there have been times when I have been unable to contain it, and I've burst out with something like....'why the hell do you so overindulge her, when she's continually asking for more?' It only leads to him getting upset, or us having a row....it's just not worth it, so I've tried to disengage as much as possible, which is easier!

Yes Wdigin, it takes all my effort to not ask what the most 'recent request' was for!

I put it all down to the fact that when a marriage breaks down, it's usually the father that leaves the family home! He then spends the rest of his life trying to make up for the fact that he left his DC and so, wasn't a daily constant in their lives! The trouble is, some DC (and it appears it's usually DD) pick up on this guilt and subconsciously, when they're young, play on it. As they grow up, some of them see it as a meal ticket and milk it for all their worth....and DF goes along with the scam because he fears the consequences if he doesn't! In less polite language, it's called Blackmail!!!!

There is no other word for it, I've seen it for years in black and white in their texts to him, growing more sophisticated as they grow older. Had to clamp my mouth shut so many times..

Oh yes, I'm totally with you there Hormonal? And what gets me is the subterfuge behind the requests for money....can't go into details but the inventiveness leaves me breathless! Sometimes, I look at him whilst he's listening to the blatantly fabricated stories.....and I wonder that such an intelligent, hard working and generous man can be so bloody stupid!!!

Don't have my own so not really qualified to answer, but the things that irk me the most are the things they are darn well old enough to do themselves but don't/cant

My DP doesn't tell about me a lot of the 'requests' or dramas with the kids anymore. He shares them with his Ex and they both just collude in the behaviour. Which isn't great but at least I'm out of it.