Have had another weekend from hell and my two dss (8 and 10) didn't even stay over. (Was arranged they were only coming for aft and meal).
To give a bit of history BM has a terrible attiitude - in all areas not just parenting, and this is replicating in her eldest son who this weekend only agreed to come over for a few hours when his dad told him he was going swimming.
He had told his mum he didn't want to come as he was sick of coming over and being bored sat there not doing anything!!
They usually stay one night a week say from sat aft to sun aft, and every weekend we take them somewhere we can't afford, for example bowling, swimming, etc. This causes a lot of resentment as we have little money and I feel this brews resentment for the future with our ds (2) who lives a smartprice existence mon-fri but partakes in a disneyland existence only when his big brothers are present.
They have plenty of toys here, there own bedroom, we have an outdoor building which is a games room with pool, darts, etc so him telling his mum he is bored really grates on me when we make such an effort. Plus I childmind so our home is completely geared around kids.
He has done this in the past and we have left him to it for a little while, and he only started coming back when he missed out on a big family trip out. We had all agreed he wasn't to come as he had shown no desire to visit his dad and spend time with him so we didn't book him a place. After that DP took only the eldest to the pictures (must be DPs 3rd visit to pictures in 5 years as it costs too much for us all to go) 'to make it up to him' and he started to come on a weekend again. He has been coming in the past few months (in my view to get aome birthday presents and go on our family holiday with us).Now it has all started up again!
I was so cross yesterday that I told DP I couldn't go swimming and would rather do the food shop with ds as I would not be able to contain my frustration and resentment. This was upsetting as my DS and I both love swimming but I just couldn't face it.
Feel like me and DS are third place to eldest ss and BM mothers commands (who are both extremely materialistic and have a money money money attitude.
Youngest step son is an angel who is second place at home , he is easy going asks for nothing, is affectionate, loves being here and would happily live here if allowed, even if we spent zip on him BTW.
Just needed to vent as i am so frustrated and don't know what to do about it.