CSA calculation - is this right?

[ticklemonster123]

DH's ex went to CSA asking them to recalculate his payments as she believed he'd got a pay rise. He hadn't, he's now in a more senior position but he no longer earns commission so he still earns a pretty similar salary.
He was asked to send his last two payslips, which he did, and now he's had the letter through saying his payments have gone down.
I've looked at the figures and they've calculated the figure based on his net salary, after childcare vouchers have been taken off.
Is that right?
He wasn't getting childcare vouchers the last time they assessed his payments, plus he now has a company car which comes off his tax and he puts more in to his pension so his take home pay is significantly less than it was previously, but his annual salary is roughly the same.

I think DH will probably just continue paying the original amount, after all he isn't actually earning less, but I just wondered whether it is right that they're working it out based on the figure after the childcare vouchers have come off his pay?

Well that backfired - I was trying to be nice.

Whilst your DP is not reducing payments, the child maintenance has gone down because he is now claiming, amongst other things, for child care vouchers.

No projection of my situation, just an explanation as to why some people do get irked about the whole situation. In mine and many cases, the EX lives a lifestyle that is fairly affluent, regular holidays, new cars, new clothes etc for his new family, whilst claiming poverty and not being able to pay even the basic minimum. In these cases. yes the RP is funding the lifestyle of his new kids because he does not pay for his old ones.

As to your patronising little comment about working with the homeless and doing some voluntary work, nasty. My job brings me into contact with the homeless and their needs everyday!

Whilst your DP is not reducing payments, the child maintenance has gone down because he is now claiming, amongst other things, for child care vouchers

No - the CSA calculation has gone down, the child maintenance has NOT gone down.

Why does your ex not pay the basic minimum? That's what the CSA are there for, to ensure that he does.
Sorry I can't for the life of me figure out how you reach the conclusion that you are funding his lifestyle. I understand that you are pissed off that you feel cheated out of money, I understand you feel it's unfair that you are funding more than your fair share towards your child(ren), but I can't see that you are funding his family or his life.
To fund something means that you are giving him money, you're not. He's not paying his fair share, but there's a difference.

My point about the voluntary work was purely that i have found it to totally change my attitude towards life.
It's not about money or what you or your ex have or don't have. It's about the way we view life.

The example I gave was that I could have felt bitter about the fact that I used my savings to pay DH's (then DP's) half of the mortgage to keep a roof over his ex's and his DCs head, and paid the maintenance due to them.
But where does getting angry and bitter get you? Being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
I'm not bothered whether I've got£100,000,000 or £0 in the bank, all I care about is that we are all happy and healthy.

I don't care if I out myself now but my nephew turned 15 this week, when he was 1 his parents were told he was unlikely to make it to adulthood due to his disabilities. Every birthday is bitter sweet, we never know whether he'll see his next birthday.
My brother and his wife aren't bitter and angry, they are grateful for every minute of every day they get with him.

And then you come on MN and see people argue over things that don't really matter. It's annoying and just plain sad.

I just don't get why some people carry so much bitterness and anger around with them.

Seriously, when you have a problem stop and think about whether you can fix it, if you can - do. If you can't - forget it.

Quesera - if you can get your ex to pay more maintenance then go for it, if you can't then forget about it and be proud of yourself for doing everything you do and providing everything they need.
You seem very bitter towards your ex and his family and it's getting you nowhere.

And for what it's worth I get £5pw off my daughter's father cos he can't be arsed getting a job. He rarely sees her either.
It's not really fair on her but I can't do anything to fix it so I just concentrate on loving her and giving her what she needs.

does it not occur to you that there are people reading this who have lost their homes due to separation/divorce, or been forced to walk away from a home due to abuse? do you not realise just how patronising your comments are coming from a two income household towards households where one parent is trying to keep body and soul together and is told that if they don't accept £5 a week from the ex then they are just 'bitter'? or perhaps you don't realise that if my ex pays no maintenance then I am of course subsidising his household to the tune of whatever maintenance he should be paying - it's the same as giving him the money, it just never leaves his pocket?

Well, despite the comments about it being petty and unnecessary, in this case I would at the very least keep all receipts for any clothes, shoes etc bought for the DC! Surely, it's just common sense given the situation the OP and her partner are in?

There's some very strange attitudes here!

In answer to the actual question, Childcare Vouchers reduce his salary by the amount he takes, and so yes, they would reduce the amount of pay considered, and could mean lower payments suggested. I strongly suspect bonuses and commissions are also not taken into account as they are not guaranteed.

We have a similar situation in that my partner pays more than he is legally required to do, so I sympathise with your approach of not feeling the need to reduce it. We too were asked by his ex if he should be paying more, and so politely highlighted to him he should in fact be paying less, and that ended the subject. I have always insisted to him that he pay by a bank transfer so that he has a record and I agree I would advise anyone to do the same. Just because someone is cooperative at a certain point doesn't mean that things won't change, so it's the safest thing for everyone.

tickle - am I angry with my ex for his attitude towards his children, yes. I am angry on their behalf.

They are excluded from his new family and all the fun things he does with his new DP and her DCs. The reason he can do the luxury treats etc are because he does not pay what he should for his own DCs. I am not funding their lifestyle - my DCS are. The monies are really theirs.

Example, could not afford to take all six children on holiday they deserved because he did not have the money. So he chose to take her and her DCs to Barbados for 10 days. Why a week in France, Spain, Greece, Cornwall etc was not good enough for all his family is beyond me!!!!!!!

I am proud that I provide for my kids, but nothing removes the niggle that their father does not appreciate them support them and nuture them like he should. I feel for them, not for me.

As to appreciating everyday with my DCS oh yes, this golden uterus ( as previously described by one poster!) took 9 pregnancies to go to sort of term twice to have my DCs. One spent 3 months on NICU and was born with quadruple heart defects and has crap lungs - the cuddles from that one mean just a tad more than the others, not that I would admit it to them. But seeing your child fight for life and breath changes you fundamentally - I am their Tiger Mother, because their father who sobbed when they were born and stressed everyday on NICU and who could not do enough for them - now does not give a damn - it hurts no matter how long it has been and I am now resigned to how it will be. However, when people post as some have on here - I am moved to anger again.

My ex owes me just under 2k in arrears (it doesn't include the 20k that he was underpaying for 13 years). He won't pay it though. At least his current wife has stopped posting pictures on his facebook page of the gifts/zoo visits that they have bought for their 2 dc (ds can see his father's facebook page). He's never taken ds to the zoo.

Tickle - we get it he is not reducing his payment.

You asked if it is correct, yes it is because he has other benefits now, which reduce his net. Whilst yours is not reducing it, like many on here have posted - you could in theory. The message being ( and not you) is sod her.

It riles some of us on the receiving end of

Quesera - now that you've explained it a bit differently I do understand you now.
One of the most upsetting thing as a parent is feeling that your child is being treated unfairly, even just at school or with friends. Because you want to protect them and often there's bigger all you can do about it.
I suppose my situation with DD's dad is different because he has nothing...he's just a lonely, sad man, living on his own, no job, no future, no prospects. Even his DD doesn't want much to do with him. Even though at the time it didn't feel like it, leaving us for another woman was the best thing he ever did for DD because she has a better, happier life than he could have ever given her.
But maybe if circumstances were different and he was giving other children things I thought our DD deserved then yeh I'd prob be angry for them too.

However, having been on the receiving end of an ex's anger for some years now I've seen that often how she views things is just totally incorrect. She jumps to conclusions too quickly.
Eg she moans that "he took her DCs on holiday but not mine"
This comment was based on one photograph on Facebook which was of us as a family of 4 and I'd said where we were.
If she'd bothered to ask she would have found out that we were also there with my family, my mum paid for it all with a lump sum she took from her pension.

She has also complained that we went to the zoo without DSC, we've never taken them.
But we went on DD's 3rd birthday and DSC were on holiday with their mum at the time. We wouldn't usually spend so much on a day but it was her actual birthday present as she didn't need toys etc. not quite the same to have a birthday day out two weeks after your birthday, especially when you're only 3.

She moaned that apparently we didn't treat them fairly at xmas, apparently my kids got more..
We actually spent more on DSC coz we knew my DC's would get more off my parents and brothers so tried to even it out. Everybody got lots.

She moaned that apparently DH paid for my dd's birthday party and apparently we don't do anything for DSC.
Actually my mum paid for her party. We always have a bit of a gathering/BBQ/go out for tea/day out or something for all their birthdays.

I'm not saying that this is the case with your ex, just that you never really know what's going on behind closed doors or behind the Facebook page.

DH's ex just assumes the worst from DH all the time, he can't do anything right. Although I do admit he doesn't help matters by not telling her the truth, he thinks he shouldn't have to justify himself to her. Which I agree with to a point, the trouble is she still thinks that all her thoughts are correct and has got no reason to think any different.

Ticklemonster if there's anything your post shows it's that her behaviour and judgement of you is not ever going to change. I really wouldn't apologise (even between you and your DH) about taking your kids to the zoo or buying them presents. You must treat them as you can afford and enjoy their childhoods! There is no point trying to make someone happy who is simply unappeasable. Give up trying to make amends with her. Do what is financially fair and have as good a relationship with the DSCs as you can. Life's too short. And also if the DSC themselves are happy then you are morally obligated to protect all the children from the implications of someone else's bitterness over their marriage breakdown.