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Original poster

CSA calculation - is this right?

185 replies

ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 12:20

DH's ex went to CSA asking them to recalculate his payments as she believed he'd got a pay rise. He hadn't, he's now in a more senior position but he no longer earns commission so he still earns a pretty similar salary.
He was asked to send his last two payslips, which he did, and now he's had the letter through saying his payments have gone down.
I've looked at the figures and they've calculated the figure based on his net salary, after childcare vouchers have been taken off.
Is that right?
He wasn't getting childcare vouchers the last time they assessed his payments, plus he now has a company car which comes off his tax and he puts more in to his pension so his take home pay is significantly less than it was previously, but his annual salary is roughly the same.

I think DH will probably just continue paying the original amount, after all he isn't actually earning less, but I just wondered whether it is right that they're working it out based on the figure after the childcare vouchers have come off his pay?

OP posts:
CheeseandGherkins · 13/03/2015 20:13

Serves her right? Hmm Niiice. Lovely lot of responses given by some here. It's hardly being "sneaky" or "going behind his back", she doesn't have to discuss any aspect of her life with her EX. Not all people would even tell the truth! You should be thinking of the children not about trying to score points with her.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 13/03/2015 20:16

It doesn't matter though, that's his contribution to his child. If he had no problem paying that amount before then it's spiteful to reduce it just because the CSA said the minimum payment is less. Can he pay the difference anyway just in kind, so clothes for when his child stays with you/school lunches or something?

The PPI is off though.

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 20:24

thisismyfirsttime we do buy DSC new clothes and shoes etc for whilst they are with us, they come to us on a Friday, usually in school uniform but sometimes they've got changed in to normal clothes.
They then wear clothes that are kept at ours over the weekend and go home on a Sunday in something from ours, occasionally things will come back but usually they don't so we do spend a lot on buying new clothes.
We do also spend a lot on family days out and holidays.
We spend a lot on them and our resident children, it's just sad to see that their DM doesn't seem to prioritise them so highly herself.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 20:28

Fgs
She's shot herself in the foot!
Pay the lower amount!

Serves her right

I'd be tempted to pay the new lower amount to teach her a lesson

I agree it does serve her right,

Serves her right for assuming he was earning more

Yep, another vote for paying the lower amount. Silly woman.

Yeah because no man would ever lie when asked if he was earning more. Hmm

CSA arent the police, she hasnt "gone running" to them. She, (understandably due to new job!) Thought he was earning more and asked for a calculation to be made. Its what the service is for! You dont have to get your ex's permission to speak to CSA. Clearly relations arent at a stage where she felt able to ask him about it, for whatever reason.

Also OP are you sure her income is as high as you assume when her house etc arent showing it? Also- why hasnt your DH taken the DCs for haircuts in a year? Confused

SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 20:36

Grin @ her spending the child support on her shoes and nails while the DCs are in rags. I know a man who peddles that shite about his ex too. I know his ex. Its quite funny.

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 20:36

This has all gone off track now, it was never about whether he should carry on paying the same amount or the lesser amount, it was about whether they had calculated it correctly as I didn't for a minute think that they would take the net figure after the childcare vouchers off. The extra tax for the car, maybe, but it didn't seem right that the childcare vouchers not be classed as income.

As I've said, the difference is minimal and I think DH will probably just continue paying the higher amount for a quiet/easy life, he never had a problem with what he was paying after all.

If DH's income had genuinely gone down then it would be a completely different story, but as his gross income has remained roughly the same then I think it would be pretty shit of him to reduce the payments.
But if that's what he decides to do then it's none of my business.

OP posts:
AKnickerfulOfMenace · 13/03/2015 20:38

Can you really sacrifice most of your salary into a pension, live jointly off your partner's earnings and reduce maintenance?

I didn't know that.

Not that your DH has done this OP! But I agree he shouldn't change the amount.

CheeseandGherkins · 13/03/2015 20:42

"We do also spend a lot on family days out and holidays."

As I'm sure their mother does too.

"it's just sad to see that their DM doesn't seem to prioritise them so highly herself."

Doesn't seem to. Guessing now or you know for sure? In which case, why the "seem"?

CheeseandGherkins · 13/03/2015 20:43

AKnickerfulOfMenace

Yep you can, shit isn't it!

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 20:46

surlycue - yes she has told DH how much she earns and she works in the NHS so it's very easy to check what grade a certain possition is and what pay that grade gets.

DH has suggested a couple of times that he takes DD for a haircut but he was told not touch it, that she's growing it, but it does look in desperate need of a trim. DS gets taken for regular haircuts tho, so not quite sure what's going on there.
TBH if somebody cut my DC's hair without my permission I'd freak out.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 20:54

DH has suggested a couple of times that he takes DD for a haircut but he was told not touch it, that she's growing it, but it does look in desperate need of a trim. DS gets taken for regular haircuts tho, so not quite sure what's going on there.

Oh fgs! Why post something implying there is some sort of low level neglect going on when you were fully aware of the reason she hadnt had a haircut? You are being deliberately selective with what you post to portray an image of her that suits your agenda when actually you know it isnt accurate. Ridiculous. Little girls regularly decide to grow their hair- some parents allow it, they dont have to like it but allowing it isnt wrong.

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 20:56

cheeseandghurkins - no they rarely go on days outs with their mum, like ever. She works full time and they are with us Fri pm-sun pm, she rarely takes time off in school holidays either. They're usually with us, grandparents or in holiday clubs.
I honestly can't remember the last time they went on a day out with her.

In the 7 years that her and DH have been separated they've been on one holiday.
Not even a weekend away. She has several holidays and weekends away with her boyfriend whilst the children are with us.

So yes it does seem that she doesn't prioritise them that highly. I say seem as I am judging from the evidence I see, it's impossible to know 100% what goes on in somebody's mind.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 20:57

DS gets taken for regular haircuts tho, so not quite sure what's going on there

And as for this! Hmm of course you know whats going on. The wide eyed innocent angle isnt working for you.

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 20:59

I have never suggested there was neglect, I was saying that we struggle to see where DH's money is getting spent.

Again, this is all a bit pointless as I've never asked anybody whether we should or shouldn't be paying the higher or lower amount, I asked whether the calculation was correct.

OP posts:
Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 21:07

Wow you're really over annalysing everything here, have you nothing better to do with your time?

Yes I know she's trying to grow DSD's hair but it looks a mess n leaving it so long without at least taking the ends off will mean it'll just start splitting and breaking.
Not saying she's being neglected, just that we struggle to see that all the money is really going on the kids.

Anyway I'm off to enjoy a bottle of wine with DH, got better things to do with my Friday night than have every word I write be over analysed by some angry, PMT fuelled women.

Chill out and have a vino Wine

OP posts:
jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 21:09

Pretty much everyone who said "pay her less" also said something like "and spend it on the kids" or "put the difference in savings" yet all the accusations and blatantly bloody obvious bordering on patronising cries of "maintenance is for the children!" Statements (because that's never been said before Hmm) come flooding in.

The ex could have just asked. Does she tell her husband all about her income and how much of it she spends on their kids? Does he enlist the help of the CSA to poke about in her business? No.

I agree with those who said pay the new amount and spend the difference on the kids yourselves

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 21:11

Ticklemonster I can't believe you are having a bottle of wine. You could have spent that money on your stepchildren. Wicked woman.

SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 21:11

some angry, PMT fuelled women.

Hmm
SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 21:17

Does she tell her husband all about her income and how much of it she spends on their kids? Does he enlist the help of the CSA to poke about in her business? No.

  1. she hasnt asked him to tell her all about his income. She asked CSA for a calculation. I will also point out that you are the one suggesting she ask him about his income and then supposedly implying she shouldnt The ex could have just asked. so which is it? Should she have asked and be called a nosey mare or should she not have asked and be called sneaky?

  2. why would he need access to her money or have CSA calculate her income? She isnt obligated to pay any into his household. She is supporting the DCs from her income. It was his level of support that was in question.

Original poster
ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 21:29

Wow, do some of you come on here purely just for an argument?
Because I can't really see that there's a need for one.

I'm coming back as a man in my next life, they're a much simpler breed Grin

Wine hiccup

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 13/03/2015 21:32

I think he should pay what the CSA says he should pay. After all if they'd increased it he would pay. I think this is fair.

Quesera21 · 13/03/2015 21:40

He got a promotion and she not unreasonably felt that meant more monies.

Perhaps your DP, should have been upfront.

His pay has not got down but he has upped his pension , car stuff so her contribution goes down - not really fair.

Pay the lower amount, feel sanctimonious about how you got one over on her and what wonderful people you are. She works full time to provide her share for her kids - yet you criticise. I work full time and it is bloody hard fitting it all in. Having your kids full time is more about the mundane than the disney time over a few days that you see.

I might have felt some sympathy but you lost it from me, when you started laying into her for everything.

COI: not seen a rise in CM for 5 yrs but know damn well that his pay has gone up significantly in the last few years, of course we have had zero inflation in this country, mortgage rates have not increased, likewise, rates, electricity, gas and water prices. Clothes and food are all at 2010 prices!

Quesera21 · 13/03/2015 21:46

So if she works in the NHS unless she is a manager or doctor, I doubt she is earning more than 40-45K and she works every hour for that.

To her it would appear that your child care is funded by a reduction in her DCS maintenance - that sucks.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 13/03/2015 21:59

Must be hard for her to work all week, do all of the homework, cooking and put them to bed but not see them every weekend for the fun stuff.

My ex claimed he couldn't increase ds's maintenance because they had just had another baby. Turns out he'd just bought a second house which he rented out at a loss. He tried to claim this as part of his pension so it would have reduced his maintenance massively, they didn't fall for it though.

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 22:24

Curlysue, I meant she could have said "you've had a promotion. Does that mean you're earning more?" Without having to go to the CSA behind his back so he feels investigated. Which is how it feels. Particularly when, as you rightly say, no one is questioning her contribution to their kids.

My husband has had this letter from the CSA every year. No, he hasn't had a payrise. And we're okay with that. A lot of people haven't, given the current economic situation. Mum earns nothing, but which authority is snooping about in her business and asking how much money she is going to contribute to her children? No one.

Like another poster said - had the CSA found him needing to pay more, he would have done. So why not the other way around?

It's not about him wriggling out of paying toward his children as far as I can read from the tone of OP.

And if the ex doesn't like having the kids during the week and not the weekend (I would hate it!) she should fight for a better arrangement. The fact that she isn't suggests she's happy. If OP's ex isn't happy, similarly he should fight for the change. I doubt the kids benefit from Disney dad weekends and frazzled mum week days.