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Step-parenting

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CSA calculation - is this right?

185 replies

ticklemonster123 · 13/03/2015 12:20

DH's ex went to CSA asking them to recalculate his payments as she believed he'd got a pay rise. He hadn't, he's now in a more senior position but he no longer earns commission so he still earns a pretty similar salary.
He was asked to send his last two payslips, which he did, and now he's had the letter through saying his payments have gone down.
I've looked at the figures and they've calculated the figure based on his net salary, after childcare vouchers have been taken off.
Is that right?
He wasn't getting childcare vouchers the last time they assessed his payments, plus he now has a company car which comes off his tax and he puts more in to his pension so his take home pay is significantly less than it was previously, but his annual salary is roughly the same.

I think DH will probably just continue paying the original amount, after all he isn't actually earning less, but I just wondered whether it is right that they're working it out based on the figure after the childcare vouchers have come off his pay?

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 13/03/2015 22:56

I think there's some step mother's who will put their own children first and be resentful towards their step children (and their mum's), because they see them (wrongly) as taking food from their child's mouths, begrudging every pound that their partner hands over. They are resentful for the step child coming into and out of their 'family' unit. Some, not all.

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 22:59

That is true lady, at least I have seen it happen a few times. I have also seen the step mothers child go without because her husbands child from the previous marriage must be supported in the absence of any willingness from it's mother to support it. Both of these things are wrong.

Pantone363 · 13/03/2015 22:59

You realise that these threads come up in active convos? No need to hang out in step parenting.

She assumed he had a pay rise and dared to ask for clarification of his wage.....how very fucking dare she! Of course she should just take his word for it. I know what will learn her, let's pay her less money until she gets back in her box. God the indignity of being asked to send a payslip off Shock

It's a real Greek tragedy OP

SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 23:00

Like I say curly. When you've had it happen to you.

Ive been a lone parent for 10 years (with a 2 year break in the middle) i work but have never earned enough that i didnt need tax credits or housing benefit. Luckily Hmm for me my local housing office cant distinguish its arse from its elbow and so i am called regularly to produce every document, statement, payslip, bill ive ever set eyes on and deliver them to the office, which they usually lose so i now hand deliver and insist on watching them photocopy before returning along with a receipt. I am there several times a year, as well as often having to provide the same info to tax credits. Thankfully i dont have to visit their offices to do so. And your DH has to do what? Post his payslips off once a year? Poor pet. Hmm

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 23:01

It's always funny how posters will say "there are some stepmums who will put their child first" on posts like this. Like it's outrageous

Then on other posts "of course I put my own child first and think my ex shouldn't reduce his maintenance to support his new child"

Seems we all want to justify why our child comes first. Shocker.

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 23:02

Curlysue. Why have you never earned enough to not need tax credits? Surely you've had payrises recently?

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/03/2015 23:04

I am also shocked at some of the comments on here. Money grabbing? Maintenance? I wish! My husband has resigned from his own company, reduced his salary to such an extent he doesn't pay tax and without talking to me halved the amount of maintenance we agreed he would pay (a fair and fairly small amount). However, he can afford to fund flying lessons, £17K of gifts on the OW in six months and hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of toys for DS that he doesn't play with and isn't interested in as he's autistic. Maintenance used as a tool against me. I feel really bloody strongly about this. If you can pay a reasonable amount and can afford to then do it....being a single parent on a limited income is no fecking joke and I find so many of the comments here extremely offensive.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 13/03/2015 23:05

"I have also seen the step mothers child go without because her husbands child from the previous marriage must be supported in the absence of any willingness from it's mother to support it." Well, that mother clearly needs to be investigated for child abuse.

I've been told by a solicitor to ask my ex for his pay slips. Maintenance was calculated 2 years ago and he's constantly lied to me about how much he earns and he's been ignoring my emails/texts for the past 18 months so I very much doubt he'll send me these. I have no other option but to take him to court. Much easier to send me the payslips but he won't.

SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 23:06

Grin is that you trying to make a dig?

WayTMIwasalreadytaken · 13/03/2015 23:06

So your DH has the kids EVERY weekend. And he pays EXACTLY what he I supposed to.

In other words....the DC spend 8 days a month with him and he pays the minimum he can legally get away with......my heart bleeds OP

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 23:06

Also interesting how the new wife isn't allowed to claim anything about the ex's life. Yet the ex wife knows the actual monetary value of the gifts given within the new marriage Hmm

If he was a tight arse with you, he probably is with her too.

jovialjulia · 13/03/2015 23:07

No curly. Just making a point.

basgetti · 13/03/2015 23:10

What's the big deal about having to send payslips? If an NRP wants to only pay the bare minimum they are legally obliged to then they have to suck it up and engage with the CSA, including providing proof of earnings.

SurlyCue · 13/03/2015 23:10

Really? Confused which point? You just seemed to be asking me to divulge my personal circumstances.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 13/03/2015 23:13

Ha, na, jovia. I've seen his bank statements and their (joint) credit card bill. He's not a tight arse with her. I asked him to raise his maintenance until I got back on my feet after being diagnosed with MS. He stopped paying a month later and he told several people that he didn't think I was grateful enough. It was the first increase I'd asked for. He's abusive.

needaholidaynow · 14/03/2015 03:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Storm15 · 14/03/2015 06:44

The fact is that not all RPs do use maintenance as it's supposed to be used i.e. for the children. Most do. Some don't. Some are just crap with money. My DSD's Mum is constantly in debt (and no, it isn't because my DH has EVER shirked maintenance payments, walked out on her or anything of the sort, she just overspends and has another child whose father doesn't pay any maintenance).

There's an amount that must be paid by law. If a NRP has a good relationship with the RP, trusts him/ her and doesn't see a lot of the kids or play much of a part in their day to day life, then absolutely, if they can afford it they should pay what they can over the required minimum. We have a friend whose ex puts everything she doesn't spend on their DS from our friends' maintenance money into a child savings account for the DS. She's even sends our friend quarterly bank statements from the account so he can see what's gone in. Everyone's happy.

There are circumstances when it doesn't make sense though. My DH now pays what's required of him after years of paying more. He also pays directly for my DSD's uniform, hobbies, school trips, birthday parties, haircuts and whatever else. If that money went to Mum, it would get swallowed up by debt repayments and other household spending, quite possibly on a child that has nothing to do with my DH. DSD would go without birthday parties, hobbies, new school shoes etc. I'm not slagging Mum off. It is what it is.

No Mum's not happy. But DSD isn't going without either. And DH does see a lot of her and is very much involved in her day to day existence so he'd know if she was.

I don't think you can attack anyone for not paying over and above what's required of them. It doesn't always make sense to give the RP more than one is obliged to.

I assumed from your first post that the difference was fairly significant OP, in which case from my DH's experience, if you have qualms about maintenance being spent on the children, I'd pay what's required and have your DH spend whatever he can afford over and above that on the children himself. Maybe he could agree to buy all their uniform, pay for violin lessons, swimming...whatever.

If the amount is nominal though, and leaving everything as it is will prevent all hell breaking loose then you'd probably be better off leaving it as it is. On the plus side, she's more likely to discuss it with your DP than the CSA next time she has concerns.

And no, the CSA aren't the police. But they are bloody incompetent and I think it's very understandable that NRP's are nervous about being accused of paying less than they should.

yellowdaisies · 14/03/2015 06:55

Where did this notion that the CSA assessed level of maintenance is "the bare minimum"? The government makes it quite clear on the CSA website that parents are free to make any arrangement they like - the NRP can pay more or can pay less if they both agree. If they can't agree then the CSA can calculate (and of necessary collect) an amount that it deems reasonabe. It's not a legal minimum any more than its a legal maximum.

I think it's really out of order to imply that someone who pays the CSA amount and has his kids staying regularly is some kind of deadbeat dad.

needaholidaynow · 14/03/2015 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheresthelight · 14/03/2015 07:35

nice to see the step mum bashing is still going strong!!

did any of yiu having a pop at the op actually read her first post? she is asking if the calculation had been done correctly not asking if her dh should reduce it. Ffs some people have massive chips on their shoulders

jovialjulia · 14/03/2015 08:26

They really do, whereisthelight. So much bitterness. It's nothing new though. Personally I'd rather get out and earn my own money rather than dig about in my ex's finances every time I got wind his job may have changed slightly. In this economy most wages have lingered about at the same sort of level for years. It just shows a disappointing lack of commercial awareness when my DH's ex starts talking about his "annual salary review" - it's not the 90s ffs Grin

wheresthelight · 14/03/2015 08:41

I can't remember the last time I had a pay rise despite the company I used to work for doing an annual review.

think far too many keyboard warriors have no concept of real life and should probably unplug for a while Grin

jovialjulia · 14/03/2015 08:55

Yes !

I think some people are stuck around 20 years ago when dad earned a family wage that grew each year with inflation

SurlyCue · 14/03/2015 09:53

Grin hilarious Hmm were there people here saying OPs DH must have had a payrise? I dont think there were. I think people were saying that its understandable why his ex thought he had- because of his promotion. Nothing to do with annual reviews or inflation. Nothing to do with being unaware of the economy. Something specific happened that indicated he might be earning more. Most people would assume a promotion comes with an increase in salary. And again, she isnt digging around in his finances. She asked nothing about his finances. She ased CSA to do a calculation for child support.

wheresthelight · 14/03/2015 09:59

and yet again surly you have wildly missed the point