Wills

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Married 6 yrs but been dreading opening can of worms that is wills. I have 2 dcs, Dh has 3. Due to recent disability have had to give up work. We were on the same level financially when married but since then dh has been successful, we have bought a good house and he has aquired other investments.

Dh wants to split everything equally between the 5 dcs, and when I eventually inherit from my parents that will also go in the pot to be split with his dcs. His dcs are due to inherit a very substantial amount from a distant family member which they will get to keep.

I think all in all dh is being generous to my dcs, and I'm not sure it's entirely 'fair' on his.
He thinks this is fair. Any thoughts?

Smilingthrough will your children also inherit from their dad's family? Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but you didn't say.

If dh and I agree on what we would like to do and make an appointment with a solicitor, does the solicitor generally just get on with following his/her client's wishes or do they tend to put their tuppence worth in as to what they see as 'fair'?

Yes LaLyra in my case I think you have it spot on x

Apologies Smilingthrough I didn't realise your children's father was your dh!

The solicitor should do as you ask but pointing out the consequences of anything non-typical to make you aware.

Thank you Zamboni.

When dp and I eventually sort out wills they will be seperate. Any money I have will go to my dc not my dsc. Not because I don't want them to get anything but because they have 2 parents to inherit from. I would expect my dp to split equally between his children and any future children we may have. If I have no children then anything I have will go to my sister's/ their family and my dp. Despite the effort love and money I put into our family unit my dsc are not my children. If they had no other parent then maybe that would be different.

Maybe I'm selfish.

Me and dp won't have a joint will it will be 2 seprate ones.

My dh and I have 5 adult dc and 9 dgc. Two dc and 3 dgc are my 'blood' children and the rest are his. Dh and I are in our 70s and have been married for 26 years.
Atm we have mirror wills leaving everything to each other first then to be split 5 equal ways.
My problem is that we have been totally nc with sd for 8 years (her choice no explanation to us or her brothers). If dh dies before me (he will be 79 this year and I will be 71) I want to make a new will leaving everything split 4 equal ways after a legacy to sd's son who has asd. Dh says that is reinforcing a wrong, she is his dear daughter even though she doesn't respond to letters, emails or acknowledge gifts which we send for her ds Christmas and birthday. We discuss it every now and again but I would like some opinions here if this is not too intrusive on OP.

Hmm tricky. My dsc will be pretty wealthy by the time they've inherited from everyone on their dm's side and our joint ds will only inherit from us (not much). He also has SEN. Also dh will inherit nothing from his family. However the message given by not splitting equally will be hard for the children to bear and I hope after we are gone my dsc look out for ds and make sure he is fine. So we will do mirror wills and agree to split 4 ways after the last one of us dies and endeavour to make sure kids, especially ds, are ok before we die!

I don't have children, but we've just made wills so that if he goes first I get the option to buy the house at a reduced rate from his kids (old teenagers at moment) or to sell the house and I get a proportion of the money . When I die his kids get a share of my estate, the rest going to my siblings, to pay them back for the reduced portion from my buying the house from them.

We were trying to ensure I wasn't homeless without leaving me in a trust situation where the kids are basically waiting for me to die before getting their inheritance.

Solicitor had to warn husband that of course I might change my will once he's died - but I've no plans to do that and it seemed fair. Only works while his life insurance is good and he has a very generous death in service benefit from work. We'll have to adjust if that changes.

Scotchmincepie I hope you don't mind me asking, but is your home where your dh's children grew up? I'm just wondering why if your dh went before you, you aren't allowed to stay there for life, after which his children would receive their share, as this is what would happen if their natural parents were married?

Good question. It's his house, we aren't tenants in common, I'm not on the mortgage. I have a house I rent out.

We reasoned that my having the house to live in till I died was, even with provisions allowing me to sell or if I got remarried just not quite fair on kids or me. Why should they wait which could be years when my buying the house could release some money sooner. Also it gives me some inheritance from my husband. We really didn't want to do the them waiting till I die thing. He's worked hard for the house and wants the kids to get the dosh.

Yes I guess that answers it, your dh sees it as his house. My dh got round the issue of his dcs 'getting something' if he went first, by buying life insurance for them (and mine). Interesting to see different ideas as it's hard to discuss with people in RL!