I can't cope with dsd full time. What now?

[Onthedoorstep]

We've been living together for six months. It was 50:50 care but now dsd is living here 90% of the time.

The house is small. I am an introvert. I cannot cope any more. Every day is a drama.

What now? I don't know what to do next. I could ask DH to move out. I could ask him to tell her we don't want her 50:50. That seems wrong. If he moves out then I don't think she will want to live with him so much. Then what?

What now?

Im know expert in mental health but I would say from experience that personality traits and disorders are diffinately genetic. For example my mil is the most self obsessed person I've ever met. Dss is very simarliar they also share a massive need for attention and validation.

Sorry if I hijacked your thread but it's very similar to my dss.

My dsd came to live with us full time for the same reasons. She's a really lovely girl but I need a break from her. I absolutely resent not getting any peace. She goes through phases and the current phase is to sit with her dad ALL the time. I literally never get any quality time with him.

If we were still dating he'd leave her at home but he won't now we live together.

Ultimately I end up resentful of dsd and that's not fair but dp not dealing with the issue of his kids (he has others who are part time) following him round the house is the problem.

I take breaks away from the house and luckily we have a big house and I can sit in another room but really we don't go into a new relationship to never have any sort of adult conversation or to sit at different ends of the house, do we? He might have kids but they shouldn't completely suffocate a relationship. My ds certainly isn't allowed to.

needsome I completely understand and could have written your post
Oppressive isn't it?

Oppressive is a good description. I don't want to spend all my free time with anybody including my dp and my ds. It's not personal.

there's no reason you shouldn't go to meetings about her if you're so involved.
My dp often comes to meetings about my ds1 who is his Dss, even when his actual dad is there. Its never an issue

and feeling involved in that way might actually help you not feel so out of control here

Social services refused to allow me in on any meetings to do with dsd living in my home. They weren't interested in talking to my ds either.

If the authorities don't see a full time step mum as relevant, why would the family.

She's nearly an adult yet she's still coming into your room on a night?! I feel for you! I really do.