why is it so difficult?

[how2cope]

Just need to vent a bit, it's an access weekend and currently I'm being totally blanked by my partner. He has barely spoken two words to me today. Is ignoring my texts, even though he's sitting right beside me, it's pathetic behaviour from an adult.

Last night I called him out on failing to tell me that his ex had sent an envelope of photos of him that she had down to him with DSS on Friday evening, he had promised to always tell me about any contact with her that wasn't specifically about collecting or dropping off DSS, which he had told me was the only reason they ever contacted each other. I'm so hurt that he lied to me, maybe I'm being unreasonable? Please tell me if I am, maybe I need some tough love on this one, just feel like I can't trust him now.

I might just add, yesterday I had to attend a funeral where my ex (we were together 5 years, apart 7) might be and I was told not to speak to him and to report back on whether I'd seen him.... It just seems like double standards and makes me wonder why lie? Is something else being hidden from me?? It's a mindfuck being in this house right now....

[WakeyCakey45]

It does sound as if there is a lack of trust in your relationship.

It's hard to envisage a future for you as a couple in which your lives prior to meeting each other are seen as a threat - particularly when there are children involved.

Your DP and his ex loved each other, and parented a child together. Similarly, you and your ex spent 5 years as a couple (do you have children?). That can't be written out of your histories. Your lives are together now, and what you have each experienced in the past make you both the people you are now - you can't erase your past.

[amyhamster]

it sounds like you'd both be happier on your own! Who can be bothered with adult sulkiness?!!

[lunar1]

Are you texting a man who is sat next to you?

[riverboat1]

Why are you both so distrustful about contact with each others' exes? It seems very odd that he has to report to you if he talks to his ex about anything not related to the kids, and equally odd that you are told you're not allowed to speak to yours.

[wheresthelight]

you are doomed if you are arguing over speaking to his ex. Ffs grow up the pair of you

[TheMumsRush]

As others have said, why are you texting him if he is sat right next to you? And maybe, just maybe he forgot to mention the pics, it's hardly a big deal. You both sound distrustful and controlling. I don't mean to sound harsh but alarm bells are ringing

[waithorse]

I just can't get over you texting someone who is sat next to you to be honest.

[Eliza22]

Ignoring someone is a form of control and bullying. This is an unhealthy relationship, with major trust issues.

Leave now.

[NickiFury]

You're both as bad as each other. Try growing up a bit. This isn't how healthy adult relationships are conducted. I'd be ending the relationship. What on earth is the point if you spend all your time policing each other's behaviour and sulking over exes ?

[AddictedtoGreys]

I get it. its hard to see your partner/DH speaking too and seeing their ex. it has to be accepted because of the children obviously, but its natural to not like knowing they are talking about things other than their child.

[stillsmilingjust]

I understand. He's broken a trust. It's a biggie.