Feeling so done with it all!!

[SpandexBallet]

I am so angry today.
I have 1 DSD aged 13 who we have 3 nights every week. One of those nights being Friday and then all day Saturday. We haven't had a Saturday without having her unless it's on her terms such as a party or her being on holiday.

I work most Saturdays so that dp and DSD can get time together without me there. But this weekend is my first full weekend off all year. I told DP months ago and we arranged to go away today for 2 nights. Leaving DSD with her gran for the Saturday day.

Well this morning she announced she doesn't want to go to gps so DP has cancelled our weekend away.
The only weekend we have got to spend together in 5 years. And he is angry at me for getting upset. I am just so tired of coming last all the time.

Sorry it's long I just need a rant. I'm so upset that she is in bed still not getting up and he's watching TV when we could be enjoying the sunshine as a couple.

I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and needing support from him that he just won't give me so feeling very fragile right now

You got pregnant and he was angry, saying what about his DD.

That's shockingly awful, maybe you are just so used to his attitude it hasn't made you as angry as you should be, as this post was about the weekend away?

If you had posted that ^^ imagine the responses?

I really feel for you, you shouldn't have to be putting up with this crap

So what has he done today? Has he in any way tried to make up for your ruined weekend?

If you look back at what you have written, you haven't said one positive thing about him. What makes you stay in the relationship- there must be some good things?

Are they worth staying for if he would try to change? Or do they pale in significance against the lack of TLC from him?

Spandex I'm sorry for your loss. I'm adding to the LTB votes sorry. Do you want dc? Because your dp doesn't look like a good father to be. He's been there done that.

Don't think of it as 5 years wasted. Think of it as a lucky escape.

I think Zen's question about whether you want DC is key here. From the little you've posted here it seems possible he would treat any future child as a second priority to his existing DD. How could you parent with someone like that? It would kill your relationship if he continued to pander endlessly to his DD, to the detriment of a second child - and if she's jealous of his relationship with you, she could well be jealous of a future sibling too. Lots of complicated issues going on that he doesn't seem willing to address or sort out. I would seriously think about cutting your losses.

I feel the DSD is a bit of an aside her. She is not spoilt by both her parents no matter what things she maybe given she spends no weekends with her mother. I think your DP is making a hash of trying to make up for her mother and in the process he is ignoring and sidelining you.

So sorry for your loss and his lack of support I feel for you. I think this weak man is not the one you need to build a family life with. The DSD clings to her DF because he is the one constant for her, he does not farm her out every weekend to her grandparents. This man cannot see beyond her DD and I think you will always come second best. Never said it before but I think you need to leave.