ExW in touch with your dhs relatives

[croquet]

Is your stepkids' mum in touch with your DHs relatives independently, or does all contact go through him? Trying to work out what happens in other families, thanks.

Both my parents kept in contact with their x family. Resulted in my going on regular holiday / weekends w paternal grandparents and brother ( who lived w our father) going to uncles and grandma on maternal side. Result is both db and I have fond childhood memories of a family who loved us.

When grandparents passed away both my parents attended. When my maternal grandmother died I was 24 years old and after I the evening was a family meal it was made clear from word go my father was expected to stay (he had intended to leave but even my mother said he was not too)

However neither of my parents ever tried to use the other side of family to be won over so worked well

By the way, my MIL was the one who insisted nobody should have contact with me even when exh and I had a very amicable split. I'm sure that it has been very hard for her to contact ME when she wants to hear from DS, she insisted the bridges between ex and I needed to be destroyed but I'm sure she never expected it was going to backfire on her on such a monumental way, inadvertently she gave her son the thumbs up for him to turn his back on his GS and move on into his new life and family.

her GS, not his...

I am in touch with my exils and my exsils. We all like each other very much. actually I love them because they are mine and my dcs family. We decided early on that just because my exh no longer wanted to be with me it didn't mean everyone else had to follow suite. So we built a new relationship not involving exh.

We aren't in each others pockets but we phone regularly and meet up from time to time my ils are coming to stay next month. They don't live nearby.. my dp doesn't have a relationship with his exw but his exw does with his dm.
Its horses for courses but it seems to work for us.