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Original poster

wtf - i will not be changing dd's bedtime!

26 replies

MsColour · 03/03/2014 20:17

Dp's ex texted him last night complaining that we let dss stay up until 8 when she sends him to bed at 7.30. Dp said well we can't exactly tell him he's got to go to bed before my dd (they are the same age). So she says shouldn't we be putting my dd to bed earlier then!

OP posts:
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Nocomet · 03/03/2014 20:20

DCs are either to young to read a clock or old enough to understand different rules apply in different places!

MyNameIsKenAdams · 03/03/2014 20:21

Different house, differebt rules - kids learn that pretty quick. The only reason id pull it forward is if the school are noticing a change in her levels of concentration and behaviour on thw days after an 8pm bedtime.

Tbh I think at 8, the later of the two bedtimes is more appropriate, however you can each set different rules.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 03/03/2014 20:22

Oops his not hers

breatheslowly · 03/03/2014 20:30

Not that I agree with her, but out of curiosity, how old are they?

stealthsquiggle · 03/03/2014 20:34

She's really prepared to go into battle over half an hour Hmm Confused? She must be short of things to do.

MyNameIsKenAdams · 03/03/2014 20:35

8

MyNameIsKenAdams · 03/03/2014 20:35

Oh oops I thought I saw that

colditz · 03/03/2014 20:41

"Why don't you contact the social services, and see how interested they are in our abusive parenting practice of sending our child to bed half an hour after you would prefer?"

Original poster
MsColour · 03/03/2014 20:43

No, sorry they are both 7. There is no point in sending her any earlier as she's just not sleepy before that. They are 'winding down' from 7.30.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsColour · 03/03/2014 20:44

love it colditz Grin

OP posts:
Nocomet · 03/03/2014 22:33

DD2 wouldn't have gone to bed before 8.30 by 7 (never went to bed before 8 in her life). Lovely child to settle when she's tired. Truly vile if she's not.

Jinsei · 03/03/2014 22:42

Yanbu!

morethanpotatoprints · 03/03/2014 22:48

I'm not saying you should change your time but can they not both be in bed at 7.30 and then your dd read or play quietly, you read her a story etc.
They are both in bed for 7.30 then and problem solved.

FrogbyAnotherName · 03/03/2014 23:45

I'm not saying you should change your time but can they not both be in bed at 7.30 and then your dd read or play quietly, you read her a story etc.
They are both in bed for 7.30 then and problem solved.

The OP doesn't have a problem - she has a routine, in her own home, that works for her family.
Why would she change that in order to solve someone else's 'problem'? Surely, if the DCs mum struggles to get her DS in bed by 7:30, the solution is for her to delay his bedtime til 8pm ?

brdgrl · 04/03/2014 01:01

Agree with frog - there's no problem here.

russianfudge · 04/03/2014 08:05

I can't believe the mum has embarrassed herself like that. She sounds petty and controlling and the saddest thing is that the drip drip drip of stupid requests like that breeds resentment and irritation that is completely unnecessary.

UC · 04/03/2014 08:57

Agree totally with KenAdams and Frogbyanothername.

The mum is being silly. I don't think this is about bedtimes, it is about Mum trying to control what happens at Dad's house. I would agree with her if the children were 7 and going to bed at 11, and then falling asleep at school - but this isn't the case. Is the mum a pain about other things?

My 7 yr old is lights out at 7.45/8 too.

Xalla · 04/03/2014 09:20

We had the opposite; we put ours down between 6:30 and 7:30pm - they're a baby, 3 and 5. DSD is 8.

She goes down at 7:30ish with my DS5 but is allowed to read / play quietly in her room until 8pm.

She goes to bed much later at her Mums and I couldn't give a monkeys.

Dad's house, Dad's rules. The usual mantra....

anklebitersmum · 04/03/2014 12:16

I genuinely wonder about some people..dp's ex rang up ranting that we sent DSS to bed too early some years back Apparently 8pm was way too early for him at 7 Grin

Just ignore it and mark the calendar as ex is hormonal Wink

fs2013 · 04/03/2014 12:28

Ex needs to let go of an element of control when ds is at Dad's house. This is silly!

UC · 04/03/2014 12:46

Fairly unanimous then......!!!!

daisychain01 · 08/03/2014 07:56

We all go to bed in our house quite early, DSS included. Its the dynamics of our house. dSS is very happy with that, and we havent got a clue whether he goes to bed later at his mum's its none of our business. The thought of her texting to dictate what we do in our home makes me chortle! She'd soon get told the score, the our house our rules sung from the rafters!

Stick by your DDs existing routine, MsColour, perfectly appropriate!

Original poster
MsColour · 08/03/2014 15:42

We've also had her saying this week saying that me and my ex should be taking time off work when my ds was ill, not depending on my dp (who works from home) to look after him. My parents had ds- not that it was any of her business. I am very close to giving her a piece of my mind.

OP posts:
purpleroses · 08/03/2014 19:32

That really is none of her business. How did she even know?

Beccawoo · 08/03/2014 19:57

Unless you are putting the kids to bed ridiculously late and it is affecting behaviour and school, which clearly you are not, it's none of her business. I'm pretty sure my XH puts my DCs to bed later than me, and I know often my dd doesn't get her midday nap, but not my problem! X

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