I love my kids

[ShesYourDaughter]

There is so much special you share with your own flesh and blood it is a very precious thing!

Much as I'd like the same to be true between my own kids and hers, it's hard to see it as a comparison between two sets of ideals.

My kids eat well, do well at school, one's at uni the other on the way. Both rounded kids I love to be around them for their perspective and their insight into their own world.

My partners kids are so different, take the oldest one getting on for 16 and she has some sort of crisis if she's near a calorie or away from a reflective surface for more than five minutes or nobody mentions how she looks.

I find this really difficult, my own daughter is a good looking girl. She doesn't do the plaster work and she looks like a naturally good looking girl. I can't look at my DP s daughter with layers of foundation on and know who she is under there.

I have no idea what makes her tick, scarily it seems to be vanity and her school circle seems to be changing to reflect that. She seems to be in some kind of fantasy world where she will become a footballers wife, or famous hanger on.

She has no idea of the reality of professional football or the small town where we live.

She's doing ok st school, capable of so much more but has her plan all ready so no need for be an individual when she can reach the giddy heights of non stardom to which she aspires.

Is there any smell the coffee cure? Other than her sister showing her how it shoul be done?

Reluctant, what exactly is ok with the ops post. The way the stepdaughter is described is horrible. Q

Amber, the word cunt is far more degrading than saying bitch. After all my female dog is a bitch. Society abhors the C word as it is just not accepted. Think Jeremy Hunt.

Lunar, perhaps the SD is horrible at the moment. Perhaps her mother needs to have a word with her about vanity etc. men see things in a different way to women, so OP is venting because he sees a vacuous teenager and sounds like he would like to do something about her attitude but doesn't know how to. At least he cares. I have a nearly 18 yo SD who lives with us ft and smothers her face in make up. I say nothing but she looks like a tart most days. I say nothing to her but would love to.

Every child is precious in their parents' eyes. I can assure you that your wife/partner could say nasty things about your children too but she is nice enough to keep it to herself ;-)

Err, Reluctant. I DID NOT say it was the OP who was being nasty

I meant the thread, the WHOLE thread was nasty!

Your rude comments to me were totally uncalled for.

What do I find objectionable about this post? Where do I begin?

Its the differentiation and negative comparisons between "my children" and "her children. Pernicious. Unhelpful.

There is so much special you share with your own flesh and blood it is a very precious thing!

Yer right, gush, gush.

I grew up with a person like you, married to my DF who thought the sun shone out of her 3 nieces' backsides (she could not have her own children so vilified my brother and me from the age of 9 onwards). We grew up feeling we were crap. Thankfully we have supported each other through life and now we are well adjusted adults who are proud of what we have achieved.

cantheyseeme reading that sort of garbage on this Step Parent board is not on, is it.

I am in total admiration of the amazing stories I read on here, with SPs doing their very best, struggling with the complexity of blended families, taking on DSCs, fine balancing act between one's own children (trying not to show favouritism) particularly around Christmas with DCs/DSCs having to go between households, trying to make things "normal" for them.

Those are the stories that win through in the end. Medals all round IMO!

Nah, sorry reluctant. you don't get out of calling women bitches for using the word cunt by saying cunt is worse.

you are as bad for saying that.

'bitch' is misogynistic, cunt is a unisex insult. cunt is socially unacceptable? but bitch is ok because its also the name for female dog? yeah ok.

the OP sounds like hard work. potentially damaging hard work.

oh and I clicked on this thread because I thought it was about peter Andre!

Me too Amber

@ thornrose.

I missed reluctant saying her DSD looks like a tart. wow. bitches and now tart. as long as you don't call anyone a cunt though eh.

Morning everyone...

Going to lock this now while we have a look at what's going on.
PLEASE don't start a new thread about it.

Hi everyone,

We've reopened the thread now, but we've had to delete a lot of posts, so we'd really appreciate it if you could stick to the talk guidelines going forward so we don't have to zap the whole thing.

Is this an actual genuine post??

Reluctant. I think I may have got my undeserved pasting from you as you recently had a run in with another poster who's NN started with Silly. I have no idea if this is the case but it would explain why you were so rude to me.

Absolutely no idea as to who you are talking about with regards a run in. Certainly was not at the forefront of my mind when I posted on your comment. Everyone has different opinions about life, parenting etc. Just accept it. I don't think I was rude, just honest and expressing my own opinion. But then opinions get quashed on this website. Some people spend far too many hours on here belittling others. I have my own major challenges with regards to step parenting. I do not need a virtual challenge as well.

There is so much special you share with your own flesh and blood it is a very precious thing!

That may be so, but as an adoptive parent of two with an older birth child who has a SF who adores him, I think you're missing a trick.

Reluctant The op has not stated anything about the SD being horrible or behaving in a horrible manner. So please do not start speculating that this may be the case just to try and win your bloody argument.

The op has made it clear he does not like the way his SD wears her make up and he thinks she is obsessed with her looks.

However, instead of coming across as concerned for her or wanting to help her increase her self esteem so she doesn't feel so paranoid about her looks/weight, the OP compares his/her SD with his/her own uber perfect DD and makes it clear who he feels is the better out of the two.

Also the opening line in the OP is just a kick in the teeth for all the adopters, fosterers, special guardians and other non biological parents out there. I'm not surprised the reaction has been hostile after that little gem and I say this as a stepmum to two beautiful DDs who never see their waste of space mother and who I have raised as my own and love them as much as I do my other children.

Reluctant. Calling someone pathetic and telling the to get a life is very rude in anyone's books. It's even worse when you WRONGLY ASSUMED I was talking about the OP when I said the THREAD was nasty. It's that it's you who is complaining about being belittled when you are so quick to be unpleasant.

I won't hold my breath waiting for an apology

. ...for spelling and grammar mistakes

Wouldn't hold your breath, not good for the health. Funny how this post has become a vendetta against ME for speaking my mind. An hour and a half walking the dogs away from bad online vibes does wonders. Lots of posts deleted on here, says it all. Sticks and stones n all that, I don't give a hoot about vindictive comments. Vent your anger towards something else instead.

what I find objectionable about the op is that it's not asking advice or seemingly remotely concerned about their sd, it is purely a long rant about how much better their own dd is.

With feelings as strong as those written I find it hard to believe that the sd doesn't know how the op feels and from what I imagine it is not helping her self esteem.

I find it sad that the op has such distain and I think needs to look long and hard at themselves and their behaviour

Reluctant, your NN says it all really.

Stop projecting. There's been no mention of the SD being horrible.

Funny how OP has fucked off.

There's so much wrong with him/her, I don't even know where to start.

And, btw, it's proper cunty to call people bitches and tarts.

Reluctant i think that the msgs deleted were aimed at the OP. Stop trying to make out we are all horrible and nasty and victimising you.