Bit OT but....

[TheMumsRush]

Why do people who have no experience of step parenting feel the need to give advice? I understand threads come up in active but you can see the topic. It's not (as with many subject) as black and white as it seems. I see it all the time on SP. I'd not give advice on a subject I have no experience with! Just saying

[meh]
It comes up in active and sometimes I don't notice the section the question arises from.
As long as people arn't posting to goad or with an agenda I can't see the problem.
I have posted in all sorts of sections without realising.

I suppose its good in way to get different perspectives.as pagwatch said aslong as its not nasty,whsts the harm?

The harm is that it's not always constructive. I don't mind things being pointed out but I've seen some SM on here get a right flaming from people who are obviously not SP, there's a few regulars too

If it comes up on active,I'm gonna stick my oar in.

If you want private chats. Use OTBT.

Although that's not private, it just doesn't come up on active.

Which you have a right to, all in saying is it should be constructive, I've see SM leave here due to posters talking with no authority on the subject and being quite nasty to boot!

What's otbt?

If people are regularly posting just to flame you should report that
Thats goading isn't it?

But otherwise, whilst its dull, I think most sections have regular posts from those not directly involved don't they?

Off the beaten track

Some people might not be step parents but have experience of step families in one way or another.

I guess so, maybe it's just me. I've seen people try to report but lines get blurred as to what's goading. I've seen some threads go nuts on here due it. I just stick to topics I have "experience" with and try to help

I understand that, I'm just referring to people obviously trying to stir things. Maybe there are other reasons for it x

You can't only post on threads whose subjects you have direct experience of surely?
People can have valied opinions or advice even if they've not been in that position.
I'm it a step mum but my dh us as two father to my dd and I have a step father myself, can I post?

I have no idea why that came out like that?

Dh is dds step dad and I have a step father is what I tried to type

Sure but experience is a unfixed thing, isn't it.
If someone posts "my dh thinks my DSD is big enough to go to town alone but I think she is too young as she is not even as old as my dd who is forbidden from going alone' I might reply.
I don't have a DSD but I have a DD and have views upon independence.

There is a step daughter aibu at the moment. I reply to the thread if I have a view, not the section tbh.

I honestly don't notice what topics some threads are in when they come up in active.

Good point patch, I need to think outside the box more

Agree with you op. There's some posters that seem to spend most of their time trawling step parents board looking for ops to flame simply because of their own insecurities. I wouldn't go onto lone parents and flame people there even though some of them could be describing the exact opposite of the step parents post over here. Woe betide any step who dares venture onto aibu. Have you seen maleficent's post from a couple of years ago?

I presume you're upset by that last post on your other thread by the poster who hadn't even read the thread. She was very rude I think, and completely out of order to start implying you were out to cause trouble.

I think there are plenty times when it's fine to post on stepparenting without being stepparents - eg like the example pagwatch give above.

The trouble is usually when women (never men), whose own children have a stepmother, or their ex's have GFs at least, who they hate. And they choose to vent their anger on any SM they can find whose situation in any way resembles their own.

Do you have to be a step parent to comment on any sep relatd thread? What if you are a step child? Married to a step parent? Parent of a step child? Best friends with a step parent? A solicitor in family law?

Many people can have experience or an opinion of a situation without actually having to be a step parent. Also there are many threads started by step parents that have aspects that arent necessarily a step issue and otjer people can share their experience.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/1133815-Maleficents-Guide-To-Step-Parenting

Youare, no you don't, but some perspective helps

mumsrush I 've reported goady posts in the past - sometimes they are deleted, sometimes they're not.

But, I have noticed that, on the steppparenting board at least, there seems to be a trend ever so often for several "old" posts (couple of weeks or so) to suddenly be resurrected by the same individual, in which they have ignored everything but the OP and seems to have a particular agenda which doesn't take issues specific to blended families into account.
That does give me the impression that people do "trawl" the SParenting board just to make a point to "stepparents" in general. It might happen on other boards, I don't know (it doesn't happen on LP, I do know that)
I do know that if anyone made the kind of generalised, ignorant comments about Lone Parents that are made here on Sparents, there would be chaos.

I did, once, dare to ask whether an OP on the Lone Parents board had cheated on her DH and was that why he was so bitter towards her. I was lynched. Yet, asking a stepmum whether she was the "OW" is justified as relevant to the relationship with her DSC Mum!

What do you mean by perspective that isnt covered by experience?