Cannot bear DSD in our bed

[Stepinstone]

she is 14. Sneaks in during the night. We have discussed this before but can't seem to knock it on the head.

I am NBU about this, am I? I cannot bear it and it feels inappropriate!

You must tell your DSD yourself that she is invading your personal space by coming into your bed, and you must have a conversation about personal space and respect for boundaries.

My DSS1 had massive issues respecting personal space when I first met him. He is 18 now and still doesn't easily grasp other people's personal boundaries. I still talk to him and explain. You don't need to leave this up yo your DH - if your space is being invaded you need to defend it.

When my DSD first started staying with us aged 12 she was very nervous and wanted to sleep in our bed. My DH told her no, she was becoming a young woman and it was inappropriate.

I ended up giving her something silky of mine to hold, it was like she regressed and needed a soother. Maybe she was seeking some of the contact she missed out on as a young child or it was just being in a strange place and new situation, I don't know.

Once the boundary was in place she was absolutely fine. Your DH needs to deal with this. It is very odd, either she has unresolved issues about contact or she is jealous or a bit of both. Whatever the reason it is not ok. He needs to talk to her to find out why she is waking in the middle of the night and needing that reassurance. Is something scaring her? Then he needs to put a plan in place with her to manage her fear so she can go back to sleep in her own bed. Maybe she needs to regress and have a teddy, I don't know.

What cannot happen is that this continues, you do not have to put up with it, your feelings should matter, you have a right to privacy in your own bed.

You must not allow this to continue.

If she mentions this to anyone, the shit will quite rightly hit the fan!

This is extremely inappropriate. Your dh should know better.

Tell him it stops. Now. Very odd!