MeaninglessStrife it IS another whole thread your bitterness (rightfully so) should not taint all OW/SM's with what your experience is though all respect to you.
We had the opposite to OP. DSS's mum didn't give a shit about what dss was eating or drinking as a child (no where near enough fruit or veg, 2 litres of coke a day!) now at 18 has major self confidence issues over rotting teeth ( not to mention the agony) She didn't give a shit that he suffered greatly from severe hay fever in the spring/summer. Wanted his hair long but didn't wash/check enough for nits so he constantly had them.
When I came along when dss was 6 (NOT THE OW) and tried to take dss to the dentist for teeth/ doctors for hayfever and manage nits was told to fuck off. DP had tried all these things as well many times but because he was NRP he had no power unless she agreed and she DIDN'T EVER!
Even though DP up until he was made redundant and at the same time lost his sight in 2009 he paid over half his wage to his ex.
As soon as dss turned 18 and left school he was promptly kicked out of home as he wasn't bring in any money (no benefits and while trying to find a job nothing around his mums)
He came to live with us, he has registered with our dentist and is slowly getting his teeth fixed. He registered with our doctors and is now medicated for hayfever in the spring/summer. He is now allowed to do what HE wants with his hair. He is now with our help working PT.
If only his now alcoholic mother would stop calling DP abusing him down the phone and texting dss that she does not want him at HER house, and realise that while dss will always be her child that he is NOT a child anymore at almost 19 and she keeps pushing him away.
So while we have had the opposite from the OP I can totally accept the opposite extreme can and does happen.