School applications?

[anysummerthisyear]

Posting here as not sure where would be correct and hope someone here may have had experience in similar situation.

DSC2 is in reception, starts year 1 in September this year. DSC3 needs to apply for reception places soonish (September this year I believe)

The problem is- neither DP or the EXDW live anywhere near the DSC2's school now. She has moved in with her new DP and live about 20 min drive from DSC2 school and DP and I live together with my children about 30 min drive away from DSC2's school. The school have a sibling policy for admissions but it's odd as that criteria comes under proximity for this particular school. Both our home and EXDW's are well outside the catchment area by miles and miles and it's a heavily oversubscribed school. DSC3 will definitely not get a place at DSC2's school from either home, not a chance.

DP and EXDW don't get on, no communication at all unless absolutely necessary. Of course the DSC's education has to be agreed on between them but they haven't even discussed it yet, I raised this potential problem with DP today and he called and enquirer
and confirmed my worries.

DSC2 only got into the school, which DSC1 went to previously (now at secondary) as at the time of applying my DP was renting a flat nearby the school in the town where he and EXDW lived together before they separated.

So basically, DSC 3 has to go to a school either near our house or near EXDW's. This means a long journey each day for whoever is doing it. Weekdays and weekends with the kids are shared between DP and EXDW so that doesn't help decide which home to apply from either.

Any advice? DP knows she will hit the roof at the idea of DSC going to school by our house and with my DC's
(she hates me and my kids sadly). We already facilitate the school run for two schools (DSC1 makes his own way to secondary) but DSC2 and my DC's obviously have different primary schools but doubt if we could manage it if DSC3 went to school near her new house as we'd have 3 school drop and pick ups. Equally, she'd find it hard to facilitate 2 different schools, something we are already doing.

BTW your "she can have them" made my skin creep and the hackles on the back of my neck rise. well put.

Yes, it is ridiculous. I hope she takes your DP to court and gets a real arrangement in place before these kids have to put up with any more of this kind of nonsense.

Of course it matters who called the school...of course you are trying to bend this woman to your will...and of course you are interfering.

(and it is such a minor point compared to all the rest, but really, "the norm" is to have school lunches so you are using that as another point to prop up your on-going campaign against this woman...as pingu has said, paying for school lunches is an expense many of us are not willing to incur. And as their mother, she is quite entitled to refuse to do it.)

sincerely - people have given you great advice here time and again, but you would rather change your name than change your attitude. Those poor kids.

Well

Well said, Hath and Brdgirl

Doesn't this post sound exactly like piratemum from a few weeks ago? Maybe it's the same poster?! Or maybe there really is an increase in the number of women deciding that they're fully entitled to take another woman's children from them and let her 'have them' at weekend.

Beggars belief.

Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzz

Brd, I've just copped on now...you also think what I think. God I'm dozy

I don't think the OP is going to come back.

But, just in case she does, I have some questions.

I'll start with this one.

Your DC3 is due to apply for reception in a few months. So, he or she is 3. At the most.

You have been together over 2.5 years.

Were you the Other Woman?

Sorry - missed out a crucial word.

Your partner's DC3

Haththefeckless?!? Your posts are a little bit over the top I think. I'm honesty very confused. My DP and I live together, we are getting married nex year, I help look after his children as he does mine, we live together with his kids more than 50% of the time, of course we do drop offs and pick ups of each others children. EXW's new DP also collects or drops the kids off sometimes too- it's perfectly normal, to us anyway. Sometimes her new DP collects them from me - shock horror ha ha. Should we only ever drop off and collect our own children we'd all find working a little difficult (well not me as Im not working).

Of course they would get into the school near our house, DP lives here, the school is right by our house and he is the person (currently) who has to apply from his address. If she applies from her address they will go to te primary near hers.

Either way it's going to be difficult for the other parent on school days. They are both good parents sothwre is no easy way to decide ho would be better to have the kids with them more as they are looked after equally well at each house. She is difficult to negotiate with so I though Id ask her for some ideas of ways to work around it that best suits the DSC's so DP can make proposals to her. I'm asking as I'm on mumsnet- doesn't mean I'm interfering or mean I going to be the one discussing it- Im not!

Nobody needs to "fight tooth and nail" There's not going to be any fighting- they will come to an arrangement in the end I'm sure! An amicable agreement that works for everyone! Either way it seems the kids will need to stay the majority of weekedays with the parent who's house they will go to school near. If that happens to be EXW then so be it- DP will do whatever necessary in order to do why's beat and easiest for the kids.

Is this one of those forums where every stepmum is a monster?

No I most certainly wasn't the OW- DSC3 is 4 in November, we
met when he was about a year old. EXW has a series of affairs then left DP- all shortly after DSC3 was born.

It's very unlikely anyone will go to court, not everyone's relationships and past relationships with DSC involved has to be dragged through courts.

I find some of your replies very helpful- especially purpleroses and notadisneymum- however ome of your other replies are frankly quite bizarre!

Poor kids? What on Earth? Kids have two loving homes and lots of people who care for them!

How nice for you to get what you want.

Why is your DP getting the child benefit for the children?

What happened that he is the resident parent and the norm of the mum being the resident parent isn't being followed in this case?

Why not let her have the children and send them to school near her and you and your partner have them every other weekend and half of holidays?

As to school meals, really it's not up to you to decide what she spends her money on.

You really need to step away - there's no "we" will do anything WRT these children. It's for your DP and his ex to sort out, it's none of your business.

You should concentrate on your own children.

Who told you exW had affairs with a newborn baby?

Your DP?

" I though Id ask her for some ideas of ways to work around it that best suits the DSC's so DP can make proposals to her."

Did you really do that??

Because if you did that to me, I'd never ever discuss anything about MY children with you ever ever again and you could fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck one way if you thought you'd get any co-operation from me.

Just saying. If it was me.

Oh dear.

anysummer only a few days ago you posted (in AIBU) that your DP was involved in a court battle regarding his DCs - now you say you doubt anyone will be going to court. Which is it?

It's really disheartening to continue to give support and advice on a forum in good faith when so many posters recently seem to have their own agendas and be seeking validation, rather than genuine help.

What is the court battle over the DC's about?

Oh Dear anysummerthisyear

You haven't told the whole story I don't think - you couldn't have from reading the AIBU

OP I am genuinely bemused by you. You seem to post repeatedly about the same issues, under different names, and indeed contradict yourself across different threads.

You must have realised by now that several posters have noticed this, yet it doesn't seem to put you off.

You seem to be obsessed with all this to the extent that you will still go on posting about it. It can't actually be good for your health. Your DP's ex seems to be at the end of her tether and I struggle to imagine where your DP stands in all this. It must be like a war zone for the children