Who wants to say....

[prettyfly1]

.......that bitter ex wives who behave totally irrationally and hurt their children with jealousy as a result dont exist....

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2088534/Why-Ill-NEVER-let-exs-new-girlfriend-meet-son.html

Dear God that woman is unhinged. Lets hope her ex has the sense to get court ordered access - It is entirely up to him who he introduces to his son.

(and really, she thinks her son seeing that daddy is happy, albeit in another relationship, as more damaging than having his face plastered across the DM? Really?)

I know - I was thoroughly, utterly gobsmacked and yet somehow it sounds so familiar. I really dont think this womans beliefs are that uncommon and wish to god that I had the balls to put this in AIBU - who wants to tell us all ex wives are lovely now???? Eh???

If both parents have parental responsibility then one has no right to dictate that kind of thing to the other. She thinks she is protecting her son but you just have to hope he doesn't grow up to be as self-centred and bitter as his mother.

Makes me so grateful - and proud - of my mum who went out of her way to be open to my dad. Never ever said a bad word about him or his gf's. And made sure access was easy and based in what worked for everyone including overseas visits etc.
This woman is bonkers, and it will all backfire on her later in life .., especially now she put it all in the DM.

I remember that vile woman who posted on here saying similar - in Steparenting and in Lone Parents (and shitty PMs). Thankfully most mners put her straight, but there were certainly a few that agreed with her.

DH's Ex wont have anything to do with me - not a conversation even. In 10 years I think I have spoken to her twice. I don't care, not really, but I do think it is ridiculous - she'll even put the phone down if I answer. I've been in her daughter life for 10 years FFS, but I'm not even worth a 'hello'!

yeah I read it and made me laugh- We ( I mean the 4 parents in my DBDs life) work very hard to avoid this - just silly and childish.

What a wicked woman - completely selfish. I hope her ex reads it and applies for residency as she is undoubtedly damaging her son. If this is what she writes in public can you imagine what she is doing/saying behind closed doors.

Judges and courts need to wake up to this as it's child abuse - the ex will no doubt introduce a new partner at some stage, mad abusive mother will withhold access and the son will grow up without a dad. No doubt she would then write articles on how tough it is being a single parent with a feckless dad who doesn't want to see his son.

Society has to act to protect children from abusive parents even if those parents are women/mothers.

Just reading the article now and came on here to start a thread about it....you lovely ladies are already on the ball this morning!

I can't believe the attitude of this woman! That's exactly the attitude that that creates a whole host of bitter and resentful attitudes between the mother, her ex, any subsequent partners and most importantly, the child. I hope she never falls in love with another man and has to eat her words regarding access to her son!

Grrrr and double grrrr. I'm too angry to articulate any more!

Everybodyknows, I'm so glad that you work hard at maintaining a balance with your DCs and no doubt they will develop into emotionally stable adults as a result however the article isn't `silly' for the boy involved. It's his life and we are reading how this women is using him to satisfy her own selfish feelings. It made me feel sick and concerned for him.

the ex will no doubt introduce a new partner at some stage.....

Not necessarily

DP's ex shares similar views to the nutter lady in the DM article - but her position is that she will remain single for the sake of the children whereas DP has failed them and let them down by moving on with his life

Of course, in my bitchier moments, it occurs to me that remaining single for the sake of the children sounds a damn sight better than no man will look at me no matter how hard I try

Smum- Sorry that was written really quickly - I meant the woman was silly and clearly needs professional help. It is very sad for the boy.

It wasn't always like that for us though. The girls have been submitted to very damaging behaviour (parental alienation) from their mother- we had to go to mediation to put a stop to it. Very lucky in our case, her partner was on board with us. he was also sick of hearing her badmouth DH !

In all fairness, she took it on the chin and changed- the girls have been much happier since. Her partner won't allow it because he finds it equally damaging for the children they have together to hear such negative things.

The one thing we kept from the mediators ( they were excellent I must say) was this- we are Project Managers and must work together at managing our children's life in the best way we can. Working from that viewpoint really works for us.

The children will never judge you as a Husband/Wife/Partner, they will judge you as the parent you are to them.

Everybody, that's brilliant that the situation has improved for you. It's good to hear positive stories.

I am struggling after reading that article - probably for several reasons, the fact that we are all reading about 'justified' & current abuse of a real child and not sure what we (the readers, society, social services, the law, his school) can do to stop it and help that dear child.Secondly because DH's ex is similar and seeing it in black and white makes me realise how awful it is for DSS and I'm questioning if DH & I are doing enough.

Ha ha NotADisneyMum .... I could have written almost word for word what you just did. Except, in our case, the ex "gets round" the issue of jeopardising her martyr status by describing all occasional boyfriends as "mummy's friend". Friends that is, who disappear strangely enough after a couple of months max .... odd that, isn't it, to fall out with, and stop contact with, quite so many "friends" so often. Still .... this charade allows her to castigate DP for having "neglected" the children by moving on and having a long term relationship of many years standing - how very dare he ?! - whereas, allegedly, she "always puts the children first" by pretending that her short term shags, to whom the kids are nearly always introduced, are nothing more than pals . On that basis, she's apparently "put the children first" for 13 years and claims this makes her a "responsible and devoted" parent - whereas DP isn't.

Agree that woman in the article is guilty of emotionally abusing her child. Disgraceful disgusting cow. Really hope the dad hauls her sorry arse into court - she must surely have shot herself in the foot with that article.

I can understand the mothers who don't like their kids seeing Dad's girlfriend if she was the woman who broke up the marriage - I know you have to get over that sooner or later, but I understand it from a 'human nature' point of view. But to object to any partners who may come along in the future is just plan stupid. Thankfully that would never stand up in court, but it does illustrate very clearly how bitter some ex's can be. I'm tempted to put this on AIBU - or would that just cause mega fireworks?

Surely to god very few people could actually present an objective argument which actually supports this horrid selfish woman ? (even if it was put in AIBU)

What's the betting that fast forward 20-30 years and the boy will either be completely estranged from his mother - having realised what she's like - or alternatively, be one of these mummy's boys not entirely unheard of on MN who consistently places his mother above and beyond his wife/partner ? I can imagine this woman being the MIL from hell because no-one will ever be good enough for her boy - whether that be "another woman" who dares to show a bit of human kindness towards him (and take her "rightful" place as mother) or "another woman" who dares to replace her as no. 1 in her adult son's affections.

AIBU is such a bear pit and the general MN stance is soooo anti second wives that it will go one way or another. You will get the hard cores who flame the hell out of us or you might just get a few people to realise what it is actually like.

This is just miserable reading. Poor kid. It's a fucked up point of view to state she will insist on 1-1 even if there were half-siblings.

On the plus side, some people have a hard time proving their ex is vile - the father in this case can demonstrate she does not have the kid's best interests at heart.

Everything in the article is about what she wants as his 'mother'. I can't find anything that she says about what is best for her son or putting his interests first. She's a selfish cow who cares more about spiting her ex than doing what is right for her child.

I am a stepmum who also isn't 'allowed' to see skids, despite being married to DH. The only ones who end up being hurt are the DC and ex. DH and I can go on holiday or go out whenever we want as we don't have to consider skids in any arrangements. I must admit that it makes my life a lot easier!

God I wish my ex's girlfriend was like all of you. She has said hello to me twice in five years, even though I have never had any sort of problem with her spending time with my little boy. I trust my exh completely to decide who is an appropriate person to spend time with our son and I wouldn't dream of telling him otherwise.

My son thinks that she is lovely and gets on well with her older teenage children and that's all that matters to me. I think that the more people kids have in their lives that care about them the better it is for them. Why on earth would any right minded woman be so spiteful?

My step-dad is a huge and wonderful asset to my life and to the life of my children. I am so grateful that my dad can see that and doesn't stand in the way of it!

This woman is mad.

I can't help womdering how much of the mum's stance is affected by the fact that she is (apparently) on her own and whether she would feel this way if she had met someone else before her ex did? There is so much resentment and she seems to have very low self confidence - as both a person and a mum - to feel so threatened by her ex's new GF. Surely at 8 her son knows who his mum is - isn't it a bit insulting towards him to imply he would not be able to make the distinction? She is assuming that her ex would introduce 'just anyone' to their son and that his GF would want to take on the role of 'mum' - not necessarily true on either count. If she trusts her ex so little to make parenting decisions it does beg the question of why she had a child with him in the first place. Does anyone else think that her controlling nature may have contributed to the break-up of their relationship?

ma4pie I think you are right - she also assumes that he would then be shunted and not as important if her ex went on to have more children - it smacks of HER not feeling important anymore. I would be very surprised if a woman with that little respect for men was able to sustain a long term happy relationship and I wonder if she has realised the message she is giving to her MALE CHILD about the priorities and feelings of men in relationships and fathers on the whole. So incredibly damaging. If a man went into the mail and said he wouldnt let his new partner move on etc it would outright be considered abuse and he would be facing a criminal prosecution.

ma4pie - I think you've hit the nail on the head; it is about control
DPs exW is like this - and she was a very controlling person throughout their marriage She became incredibly bitter and vengeful when DP didn't 'end' the marriage the way she directed him to (he bought a house, filed for divorce and wanted to play a part in his DCs life) and she uses the DCs as tools to manipulate him with

When someone feels so wronged and are so wrapped up in their own anger and pain, it is inevitable that DCs that they are responsible for are going to suffer

I just wish society would recognise the damage that is done in these situations and protected the children from harm, as well as support the parent to work through their issues, rather than reinforce their victim status

Becky, can you be my DH's ex please, please???? In the first few years I went out of my way to placate the ex, it just didn't work. However I am one of the many step mums she has in her life since she marries and discards men when they have reproduced with her.

In the article the mad mother said she realised how shocked her ex would be if she took their son away - the cynic in me says that she didn't have empathy but gleefully realised she had found the weapon (her son) that would help her retain control over her ex and keep him dancing to her tune. She left him.

She mentions her therapist agrees with her position..I would be shocked if that was the case and if so she should be reported.

That woman is a mad, controlling, evil freak.