This is one of my main bugbears, and has caused me major frustration over the last few days, as we had SS (age 16) from Thurs-Sun.
When I was a child, we watched kid?s programmes when we came in from school, and then at 6pm the news came on, and after that my parents pretty much decided what was on TV because they were the adults, I never saw myself as a deprived child, I had a TV in my bedroom which I could watch if I didn?t want to watch my parents programmes.
However when SS visits, he?s generally glued to the sofa, and surgically attached to the remote control. No one is physically stopping me from entering the lounge, but I?ve no desire to watch round-the-clock cartoons with an unwashed lump, so I tend to retreat upstairs. DH gets really cross when I retreat, it really winds him up, but it?s not HIM I?m retreating from. SS has a TV in his bedroom, but prefers ours at it?s a wider screen (I think boys like things like that) and DH argues that he doesn?t want SS to spend each access weekend in his bedroom, as they?d never get to see each other. I think DH?s ideal situation would be for me to sit with SS watching his choice of programmes eg, cartoons, super-hero dvds etc.
There have been many times when I?ve suggested that SS has control over the TV until I?ve cleared up after dinner, after which it should be ?grown-up? time. DH will agree to do this, but will never enforce the ?ruling? unless I apply pressure. He?s often said we shouldn?t need to have schedules in our own home ? well fine, I agree in theory, but without any schedules SS ends up taking over. When I?m a 50% stakeholder in our house, I resent having to sit upstairs like teenager watching TV in my bedroom.
I know that on access weekends, ?normal rules? go out of the window, and normal standards of behaviour/expectations are not enforced because Disney Dads over- indulge their children, at the expense of their new relationships.
AIBU?? Obviously I wouldn?t dare post these comments on that particular board, I?d be burnt at stake!