Is it possible to have a good rel with an exw who has not found anyone new?

[Allora]

I am interested to know because my DH's ExW still won't meet me after 4 years. They had a bit of a messy break up and both behaved badly but are on good terms now. I spend a lot of time and get on very well with her DSs and she is happy to see my baby 'because she hasn't done anything wrong'

Feel gutted by that outlook tbh and don't know what to do. I don't want to have a ruck about it but it's not right. I was not some predatory OW, secretly and evilly plotting to get my man!

anyway I won't go off on a rant because i am just interested to hear others' experiences:

do stepwives only get along if EXW is happily in love with someone else?

bhls thanks so much for posting. I didn't know EX before and have only met her a couple of times but have no animosity - she doesn't de-nit the kids but that is literally my only complaint apart from the fact she won't let me 'in'. I have a lovely rel with her DC and she has previously thanked me for being nice to them and doesn't bitch to them about me at all )as far as i know)
perhaps i just have to be patient and remain willing. It is tough to move beyond the roles we are expected to carry out (i.e. jealous, controlling, possessive) but i believe it is possible. It's an unconventional set up for sure but that doesn't mean it has to be bad imo.
we'll see. I would just so love for everyone to be ok with the situation. it's been a long time now.
having read about the shockas others are having i should think myself grateful. It is also easier the fact that i don't live with my dsss though. hats off to those who live with. THat's a toughie - no matter how lovely all of you are.
sorry for poor writing - am knackered (as always!)

Can i post a different perspective.

I am on reasonably good terms with my ex, who had an affair and then left us. He has a new partner and I am still single as i spend most of my time working to support us and bringing up our kids.

However, one thing that upsets me is that he is chatty and pleasant when he talks to me on his mobile but curt and rude when he talks to me on their home phone. I am sick and tired at being on the receiving end of this 'rudeness show' he puts on for his new partner.

Also, I now refuse to drop the kids off at his as he lives 2 hours away and the only time I have driven over I was not allowed over the threshold to use the loo. And he still has a key to mine as I let him keep it in case he needed to pick stuff up for the kids when I am not around

God knows what he has told his new partner about me I dont want him back but I would appreciate a bit more politeness. Not all ex wives are mad harpies