Squirrel3

[tarantula]

Hi thinking of you today. Hope the funeral goes ok and that you and ds and dd and the grandkids find somewhere to go afterwards for a quiet drink. also hope things go ok with your mum. Be thinking of you today. Lots of love and of course deepest sympathy too.

Incy wincy tarantula

Ps hope your hand isnt playing you up too much

lol at wanting to cut his throat...

I would add... and sawing his fishing rods in half, drilling holes in his boat, piling all of his stuff up in the garden and having a huge bonfire, etc, etc, etc...

You maybe right but how can I trust him enough to not add to the mess by reacting the way he has already has? (if that question makes sense)

Its ok you don't have to answer that question, its just the way I feel ATM

Yes, you take that chance, but what's the alternative, you carry on freezing him out and become polite strangers? sounds like now's the time, and if he's your partner you need him. if the worst that can happen is he reacts like a tosser, what have you lost? you already know he can do that

Ok, yes you are right but I'm not sure I can do it, I'll try.

Thank you ninah, what you are saying does make sense.

I know it does. I also know how hard it is to put in place. I am FUMING with my own dp atm! but please have a go.

Men!!!!

I swear its a shame I don't fancy women. life would be so much simpler!!!!

Don't know what he has done but take your own advice and make up with him.

P.s Hope things are going well with the baby.

Well it's not a complicated emotional thing like your situation so I think I'll let the bgr stew. You see yours is trying to make amends now, so I think it's reasonable to recognise that and meet him halfway. I know dp found it difficult to reach me in a bereavement, imagine your nearest and dearest suffering and being powerless to help - plus being a man! Take pity .. whereas today I am fed up cos the arsehle invited dss and friend for a week and rolled in last night at closing time without so much as a phone call ... I think he should be left to reflect.

Yes, def leave him to reflect. lol

Hi Squirrel. I haven't been around much lately and am just catching up. You really have had an awful time on all fronts and I hope things start to settle down for you now.

Thank you surfermum,

I feel like all I've done is winge on about all of the cr@p thats been happening and most of it isn't even about step-parenting! So I do appologise for that...

Actually the step-parenting thing seems like a 'doddle' ATM.

Crikey, if the "stepping" side is a doddle things must be bad .

Don't feel bad about venting and getting your feelings out on here. It's what we're here for.

Squirrel, have just read your posts and want to say I am so sorry, I had no idea things were as bad as they are. I really wish there was something to do to help you as much as you've helped me recently. If you want to CAT me at any time then please do. I know I probably cant relate to a lot of it as its not all step-parenting issues, but Im here for you if you need me. Thinking of you [[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]] xxx

Sorry I havent been round too much thsi week Squirrel Bloody servers have been crashing left right and centre not to mantion the fact that they actually want me to do some work. Bloody cheek. I caught up a little bit on your other thread from the weekend this morning but didnt get a chance to read itall. Hoping tomorrow will be calmer so we can chat a bit. Am thinking of you tho and hope things are better today. Maybe the long weekend will give you a chance to have some time for yourself.

Having a bit of a mare on the step parenting front too myself. Dss is really jealous of dd and we have no idea what to do about it. dp was really upset last night. Hopefully itll all work out in the end tho and well get to ahve a talk with him. Life eh its never simple.

Tarantula, they are expecting you to do some work!!!!! The Cheek of it!!!!
I haven't got any advice about the jealousy thing, I hope you can talk to dss and sort things out.

Sam thank you, I don't think that there is any one thing that anybody can do because its so bloody complex and emotional. Just knowing that you are there means so much though, don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you lot. (prob in a lovely padded cell somewhere, lol)

Hi Tarantula!!! S'ok Squirrel Ive told you loads of times you can share my padded cell! lol

So sorry to hear of jelousy problems with DSS Tarantula. I am worried that the same will happen when DP and I have a baby

{{{{{Big hugs to squirrel}}}}}

Just read what's been happening to you recently Squirrel, so very sorry to hear it all

I really hope you and DP manage to sort things out, I think you're right not to do anything too hasty just at the moment because you're, understandably, all over the place with your emotions at the moment and it's not a good time to be making a life-changing decision

Perhaps he's realised what a pig (and that's polite!) he's been and he'll try very hard now to make it up to you? Let's hope so. I have to agree with what's been said before - it sounds like he can't cope with you getting upset, some people are like that. I used to live with someone like that so I know how hurtful it is (I left him because he was also a bully but that's another story). Whilst of course this is no excuse for his behaviour, it does at least explain why he's been acting that way. Maybe if you do get things sorted you could have a chat about it one day?

Really hope you're OK Squirrel, thinking of you. Sorry I wasn't around earlier in the week - had the same trouble as tarantula, they expected me to do some work - how dare they??

Thank you NAAM,

Its so out of order that employers expect you to work for your money, you should be able to spend all day on MN without feeling guilty,

Dp looked at me last night and told me that I've lost alot of weight, "hardly suprising" I said "I don't feel much like eating and even if I did I can't peel potatoes, do veg, can't even use a can opener, not that there's much food in the house because I can't do the shopping either (No money and can't carry the bloody food home on the bus, ds is a veggie so he cooks his own food most of the time)" I pointed out to dp that since I broke my fingers he hadn't even made me a cup of tea, he then went shopping bought steak and all of the trimmings and made me a really nice meal.

We haven't talked further about what has happened but I hope we can. I need to try to understand why he reacted the way he did and I think it is going to take a long time to get back to where we were. Its not going to be easy but I'll try.

At least it's a start Squirrel, although I don't think you should have had to point out such obvious facts to him (then again he is a man so perhaps we should make allowances...... LOL )

You're right in that it will definitely take a long time to get back to where you were and yes I agree you need to find out why he reacted the way he did, but in the meantime at least he's started to make a bit of an effort. Hope it continues and you can sort things out

Thinking of you, try to keep smiling

How are you squirrel?

Thinking about you, hope things are getting better for you

squirrel?
steak's a good start, hope things are continuing to improve

Hi Squirrel

Ben thinking about you alot recently Hope you are ok. please do post and chat cos youre still a mum even if you arnt s'mum. and we need you round Hope you are doin ok and Lea is getting on all right and dgs and dd. Ive been thinking of you lots. Hope you start to post again soon

take care

T

Hello Tarantula, my blooming computer gave up on me didn't it! Grrrrrrrr!

Thanks for thinking of me, things are getting a bit better (there not great but...)

And oh yes, OMG, I realised yesterday that I haven't had a period since before the holiday!!!!!!!!! I'm trying not to panic too much because dp had 'the snip' ages ago and what are the chances of the tubes joining back together? (please tell me "very slim, almost impossibe") and I have been under a lot of stress, that can 'delay' things can't it? I can't be preg, I'm a Grandmother, I had an x-ray a few weeks ago, I've been taking strong painkillers and my relationship is still a bit strained!!!!! but I'm not panic-stricken yet!

DP told me not to worry, if 'it' hadn't arrived by Monday we will do a test, then if its positive I will personally castrate him myself

Hey good to hear from you and vvery glad my message made sense as was a tad erm.....bolloxed to put no to fine an dpoint on it when I typed that message . You came into my head that night and I jsut HAD to come on a leave you a message. Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better and know the feeling as have had similar thoughts too as have been really really tired recently (even tho Im on hols) Luckily I came on tho phew was that a relief.

Still cant get my head round you being a g'mum. Having said that so is my sil and shes not much older than me either. LOL Have told dss in no uncertain terms not to make me a stepg'mum any time soon tho I think having a babay sis has put him off that one.

lol at the castration I love the way men are soo supportive . Hope Leas and yor g'son and dd are all ok hope you are round next week .Ill be back in the office then

dd is ok, getting her head around the problems with Lea. We are stil waiting for the appointment at Great Ormand Street.

It was DGS's birthday last Wednesday so that lifted the mood a bit and he had a lovely day.

Scattered half of grandads ashes on the thursday, just waiting for my uncle to orgainise the trip to Wales to scatter the rest. I have good days and bad days as far as dealing with the grief goes, I still don't feel as if I have had the time to grieve TBH. Every time I feel it come to the surface I feel I have to 'squash it down' because there it too much else to deal with, but I do feel that GD is back with my Nan where he belonged and I know that is where he wanted to be ever since we lost her.

I've only got the use of this lap-top until Monday ev so I'll only be able to talk until then, after that I have to wait until I get a new computer, which will be ages What am I going to do?

Talk to you later hopefully.