What’s daily life in childcare really like? Ask your questions - £100 voucher to be won

[LibbyMumsnet]

This Q&A is now closed

As part of our wider Q&A with the Department for Education about funded childcare, we’ve had loads of brilliant questions about eligibility and how to apply.

But for lots of parents, the biggest question isn’t can we get a place - it’s whether we want to use childcare at all? Maybe you're worried about how your child will settle, what actually happens during the day, or whether childcare is the right fit for your family right now. Maybe you're feeling the pressure to go back to work when you're not sure you're ready. Maybe you’ve done it before and have lots of excellent wisdom to share with other parents.

If you're on the fence, full of questions, or just want to hear how others made it work, this thread is for you. Come and share your thoughts and experiences and help others who are figuring it all out too.

Post your questions below - whether you want to know:
– What a typical day looks like, whether in a nursery or with a childminder
– How childcare settings support learning and development
– How naps, meals, and tricky behaviour are managed
– Or how to help your child settle in

👩‍🏫 Our expert Sarah Walker, an experienced Early Years teacher, is on hand to share insight from inside the setting - and help you feel more confident about your choices.

Sarah Walker is an experienced Early Years teacher based in Bradford, working across two local schools (Carlton Mills and Marshfield Primary). In 2022, she was shortlisted for the Award for Outstanding New Teacher. In 2023, Sarah collaborated closely with the Director of Early Years to spearhead the transformation of Carlton Mills - from “Requires Improvement” to “Outstanding” - demonstrating her expertise in curriculum development. Passionate about fostering a love of learning from the earliest stages, Sarah continues to drive high standards and innovation in early years practice.

💬 Ask your question below by 31st August and you’ll be entered into a prize draw to win a £100 VEX gift voucher (T&C’s apply)

Is there a certain point when you think you should give up trying to settle your child, and perhaps that setting just doesn’t suit them?

My child doesn't nap at home but apparently it's part of the nursery routine. How can / will they make it happen? Im not against it, he just doesn't nap for me!

How do you think private nurseries are different from nurseries attached to schools? My twins are starting at a school nursery in September as they’re now 3. They still get upset at times going to their private nursery so I’m a bit apprehensive about this change. Apparently they’re fine when I leave!

What safety measures are in place. My daughter loves her nursery but given the recent tragedies that have happened in nurseries I was really concerned about leaving her at first. My heart goes out to the parents involved and their advocacy for safety for other children speaks volumes about their character. I know for example that they’d like CCTV to be mandatory in all areas

My nursery (who I tjink do a fabulous job) does observation assessments but I can't find out what the achievements are measured against. Is there an overall Eys plan?

Second question: what is happening with top up fees, my nursery currently died this and I have no issue with it, but I'm afraid if they have to cut funded places bc of top up limits, I may not be able to afford it.

What is the best way to help settle a child in nursery?

My son was 3 yrs old when he started nursery as I waited until he could use the toilet by himself.

Initially, I was advised to come in with him, settle into an activity with him and then withdraw quietly while his attention was engaged in the activity.

I now fear that this was quite wrong as we had a lot of battles further down the line where he didn't want to go in and was upset when I left. Staff always said that he settled fine after I was gone but I always worry that I did the wrong thing and damaged him emotionally.

He has since been diagnosed with ASD. He is extremely bright (it was noticeable even in nursery), and he now excels academically and in learning behaviours at his mainstream state comprehensive but he finds it difficult to manage his emotions, read social situations, understand the feelings of others and build friendships. He is sensitive to noise and hates to be touched.

He was always 'different ' in that he talked early and was verbally dextrous and highly intelligent so the signs were there that he was likely born ND but did the way I was advised to leave him at nursery contribute to his emotional difficulties? Is there a better way?

Is suncare taken seriously? I know that children are usually brought outside as much as possible but in my experience there's no shade in the outdoor play areas and a relaxed attitude to sunburn.

From working in two nurseries with excellent reputations - I am sometimes quite shocked by what I see. Inadequate ratios and safety concerns are the main issues. Plus it is very difficult to whistleblow without being ostracised.

An inspection is often not a true reflection. The nursery will know the inspectors are coming, ensure ratios are adhered to and the best resources are out - but then on a day to day basis - will be lax.

There is also a tendency for some staff to be ‘non contact’ (meetings, computer based work) and see this as more essential than being ‘hands on’ with the children. Recording systems like ‘Tapestry’ can be incredibly time consuming but prioritised over basic provision.

I also think behaviour management systems also lack clarity and were better 20 years ago. Staff tend to label children as problematic rather than addressing strategies in place and provision.

I have 2 DC and both went to different nurseries. You could really tell the difference in behaviour and learning between the settings. Nothing majorly concerning but still noticeable. Both were overall happy where they were. How do you raise this with nurseries? How do you suggest changes like ‘calm the chaos’ when overall it’s not about safety but about instilling good manners and behaviours in children

How do I know my child is happy and well cared for? He’s only 2 and while vocal, but can’t debrief on his day so I’m never quite sure what’s happened and if he content there.

Having the conversation with your nursery setting to have their routine as close to yours at home in terms of meal times and portions sizes, and sleep routines to mirror those existing.

My question would be having had to remove my DC from a setting, when they did not acknowledge or act to reduce the behaviour of an older child who found it hard to share, take turns and would bite lots of children in the setting.
How would you deal with a setting who could not give you assurance that unacceptable behaviours would be addressed, and parents are removing children.

I loved that I get a daily report of my DC's day from eating, playing, nappies and interaction and verbalisations - I keep them all.

My biggest concern would be the qualified and friendly staff, making my child feel loved, settled and secure - and if they are distressed that they are comforted - nothing worse than thinking your child is crying, missing you and feeling alone and isolated.

How do I handle my child not settling it?

Do you think it's best to have a gradual introduction to the setting - 1 day upwards until they are there for the purchased time be it 3 or 5 days - or just let them settle in at full time ?

What do Ofsted inspections check in a setting and are parents consulted with their views on the setting with any improvements or concerns that they have had - and does anyone regulate the accounts of settings to check the sustainability - if our nursery had folded we would have had big problems with working and finding a new setting quickly

I send my 1 year old to nursery. Honestly are we all just kidding ourselves that it is a good place for them to be in terms of warmth, attention, safety etc. and are we clinging to things that will make us feel better?

Thanks for all your questions so far!
Sarah will be logging on shortly to start answering some of them, and she’ll be popping back over the next few weeks - so please do keep the questions coming!

Hello @Dizzywizz - I would speak to the setting. Each child is different, some children settle quickly and some children take a little longer. At our setting we treat children using an individual basis. For example some children may only need a few hours / sessions to settle in. However we have had children that can take much longer to settle. In these cases we have started with parents staying for the initial setting visits and then built it up. For example where the children stays for 30 mins, building up to one hour / two hours when they child/ parents feel ready.

I would speak to the setting and explain they don't require a nap when they are at home. It all depends on how your child is at nursery, it maybe they are so busy and engaged at nursery they need a quick power nap! However, I would be discussing the point with the nursery. Hope that helps @ItalianChineseIndianMexican

Hi @Twinkletots1 . Private Nurseries and School Nurseries can differ. Many parents are concerned that School Nurseries are more structured and have a little more of a timetable to follow and are less nurturing. However I have had experience of teaching in two school nursery settings, which have been very nurturing and support a homely learning enviroment. Many school nurseries also work closely with the reception teacher so when it comes to the time when your child is ready to start full time school as they are already familiar with the school enviroment/ staff. Please try not to worry!

Hi @Constantlysuprised - It's completely understandable to feel concerned, especially when tragedies involving children make the news. Your protective instincts are valid, and you're not alone in wanting reassurance. Nurseries are meant to be safe, nurturing environments, and your daughter’s love for hers is a positive sign. Still, it's wise to stay informed and engaged. I would speak to your childs setting and they will be able to explain their many polices and procedures that are in place to keep in children safe.

Yes @Sadworld23 , there is an overall plan that nurseries in England follow - it’s called the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) framework. The EYFS is a government-mandated framework that sets the standards for: Learning, Development, and Care.

It applies to all Ofsted-registered nurseries, childminders, and reception classes for children from birth to age 5.The EYFS has 7 areas of learning:
Prime Areas (critical for early development): Communication and Language, Physical Development and, Personal, Social and Emotional Development.

Specific Areas: Literacy, Mathematics, Understanding the World, Expressive Arts and Design.

Each area includes age and stage appropriate early learning goals or “milestones” that your child’s progress is compared with. Speak to your child's setting to discuss further and how they assess children. I hope this information helps! Top-up fees can't be charged for the funded hours themselves, but nurseries can charge for extras like meals, activities, or extended care.

Many nurseries rely on these fees because government funding doesn’t fully cover costs.

If new rules tighten limits on what can be charged, some nurseries may cut funded places or offer them at less flexible times. Speak to your setting to see if they can support you in any way.

Hello @Fluffyblackcat7 . First of all please don't blame yourself, each child is different when settling into a setting. If you are concerned I would ask to speak / have a meeting with the settings SENCo (special, educational, needs co-ordinator). They will be able to help with strategies and how the setting can support him in setting! Being around other children in setting and adults in time will help him to be able to begin to manage his feeling and regulate. It will also help him to develop in social situations.