Newborn life: Your questions answered by MAM’s midwives - prizes to be won

[LibbyMumsnet]

This Q&A is now closed. Thanks to everyone who shared a question for Midwives Angie & Zoe. You can see the answers here.

Life with a newborn can be a whirlwind - exhausting, overwhelming, and full of questions. Whether you’re running on zero sleep, figuring out the best way to feed your baby, or wondering if a dummy could be a lifesaver, you’re not alone.

MAM’s expert midwives, Zoe and Angie, will be joining us the week of 5th May to answer your questions on baby care - from newborn essentials to caring for older babies, including weaning and teething.

Post your question by 9th May for a chance to win a £100 VEX voucher. Plus, three runners-up will receive a MAM Welcome to the World Gift Set.

Got questions about…

• Infant feeding - breast, bottle, or a mix of both?
• Sleep and settling - what actually helps?
• Dummies - pros, cons, and whether they might work for your baby?

Ask away! Zoe and Angie are here to share expert advice and help you figure out what works best for you and your little one.
Terms and Conditions

Meet the midwives:
Midwife Zoe – A mum of three and experienced midwife with a background in homebirth, obstetric-led care, and community midwifery. With over 15 years of experience supporting families, Zoe shares practical, non-judgemental advice that supports families through pregnancy, birth, and early parenthood. She’s also a qualified hypnobirthing teacher, sleep practitioner, and infant feeding specialist, helping parents feel confident and informed every step of the way.

Midwife Angie – A mum, midwife and qualified Health Visitor with experience across birth centres, labour ward, community, maternity wards and specialist midwifery. Angie shares honest, practical advice with parents and professionals on everything from birth to caring for older babies, including weaning and teething. Angie is MAM Baby UK’s consultant midwife alongside her NHS role and social media work.

Is it ok to drink decaffeinated coffee when breastfeeding ?

How to manage child safety as a parent or a new parent especially for working parents.

Colic! What’s the best thing/so to reduce colic please?

How often should I bath my 6 week old baby? I don’t want to dry her skin out but obviously I want her to stay clean!

Weaning at 6 months - any tips that work for most mums please - so much conflicting advice out there.

An over-granulating episiotomy scar which required surgery - any tips of how to prevent this if/when we have another baby ?

Not the midwives and wonder what they will say, but my lactation advisor said to introduce the bottle at week (!) 6. At this stage breastfeeding is established and sucking reflex still works. Afterwards at week 7/8 onwards etc they start refusing the bottle. Precisely happening to us. My baby won’t take the bottle anymore at week 11 :(

I did both from the off. I was given the same advice but it wasn’t realistic for me and my family. Plus the father misses out a lot with feeds and the sleep deprivation is real so it was important for me to have some time ‘off’.

Hi everyone!
Angie and Zoe are now starting to answer your questions, so do keep an eye on the thread for their expert advice.
There are still just over three days until the prize draw closes - so if you haven’t already, there’s still time to post a question.
We hope you find their answers helpful!

Hi @happychick113 ,
Cow's milk protein allergies need a referral to a dietician through either a health visitor or GP. The diteician can then talk through the milk ladder. Continuing to give dairy can continue to cause reactions which can exacerbate the reactions. Depending on the symptoms whether there are immediete or delayed impacts will depend on the length of time recommended to eliminate all dairy and then introduce dairy slowly following the cow's milk protein ladder. This needs an individual assessment through their own medical team. The NICE guidelines have some brilliant information on support. If your sister is breastfeeding there is a fantastic support page called Breastfeeding CMPA support, and there are some brilliant resources at Allergy UK too. From personal experience both my children had CMPA, both with different plans given the reactions and symptoms they had. For both of them, given the delayed response we were recommended to have 6 months of no dairy (one in both my diet and their diet, the other just their diet) and then begin the cow's milk ladder. Both took until they were 2 until they could have ice cream based on the ladder. Ask your sister to talk to her GP or Health visitor for dietician support and input.
Angie x

Hi @sanpellegrinocinnamonbun!
This is such a common question, and the short answer is there’s no rush. At 5 weeks, your baby is still so new, and it’s completely normal for feeding and sleeping to be led by them. All babies and families are different, so what works for one won’t always work for another. Instead of trying to set a fixed routine now, it can help to gently watch for any natural patterns that start to emerge, like when your baby tends to feed, nap or wind down in the evening. These cues can become the foundation for a routine that suits your baby. Some families find it comforting to introduce calming rituals like a bath, a cuddle, reading a book or a bit of baby massage. These can gently signal it’s time to rest, without needing to follow a strict schedule. Be kind to yourself. You’re learning together and that takes time.
Zoe x

Hi @Dizzywizz !
This is such a great question, and it’s completely understandable to have mixed feelings about dummies. There’s so much information out there, and it’s not always consistent. There is some evidence to suggest that using a dummy during sleep can reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). We’re not entirely sure why, but research shows that offering a dummy at the start of sleep, both during naps and at night, might be protective, even if it falls out once your baby is asleep. On the topic of safe sleep, the Lullaby Trust has brilliant, easy-to-follow advice, including guidance on using dummies safely. And if you’re breastfeeding and do choose to use a dummy, it’s best to wait until feeding is well established before introducing it. Every baby is different, and what matters most is finding what feels right for you and your little one. Trust yourself, go with the evidence, and know you’re doing an amazing job by asking these questions.
Zoe x

Hi @MyLastUsernameWasRubbish!
Firstly, I really feel for you. That sounds like such a tough experience, and it’s completely understandable that you want things to go more smoothly this time. The current NHS guidance is more flexible than waiting until your baby is six months. If breastfeeding is well established, usually around 6 to 8 weeks, it’s absolutely fine to start offering the occasional bottle if you’re planning to combination feed. In fact, waiting until 6 months can sometimes increase the chance of bottle refusal. Babies who haven’t had a bottle before that age may find it difficult to accept, which can make things really stressful when preparing for nursery or returning to work. If you're returning to work around 8 months, introducing a bottle earlier gives you time to explore what works without pressure. Many families find that offering a bottle every few days, ideally given by someone else, helps baby adjust. You’re doing the right thing by planning ahead! I hope you have a much more positive experience this time around.
Zoe x

Hi @Beabeautiful!
This is such a thoughtful question, and I really want to say that you're not alone in feeling this way. Breastfeeding can be beautiful, but it can also be incredibly exhausting, especially in those early weeks when everything is new and full on. Mixed feeding (breast and bottle, whether with expressed milk or formula) can absolutely be a great option if you're finding breastfeeding too tiring. There’s no all or nothing when it comes to feeding. Any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial for your baby, and it's also important that feeding feels sustainable and manageable for you. Many families find that combination feeding gives them a bit more flexibility and helps take some of the pressure off, while still keeping breastfeeding as part of their journey. There’s no one-size-fits-all. What matters most is that feeding feels right for both of you. Good luck!
Zoe x

Hello @Hersheyx,
This depends on whether you are breastfeeding, combination feeding or formula feeding. Reflux is incredibly common in babies under 1, affecting 4 in 10 babies. For most babies this typically begins around 8 weeks old, but thankfully most resolves by the time they are a year old. If you have any concerns then speaking to your healthcare professional can provide an individualised assessment to provide individualised tailored advice and information. If a baby is a 'happy sicker' who appears comfortable, is gaining weight, pooing and weeing, these tend to be the baby's where healthcare professionals are unconcerned, and in the majority of cases where babies will 'grow out of the reflux developmentally in time.
If you have a baby who has reflux and there are concerns in relation to discomfort, weight gain or nappy output, these are the baby’s where speaking to your healthcare professional is really useful. However you are feeding, keeping baby upright after feeds for at least 20 minutes (which is where baby wearing can be useful) helps to reduce the amount regurgitated. Baby’s have immature valves at the top of their stomach which is why it is so common and tummy time can help strengthen and develop the core to help reflux in time. It is worth avoiding tummy time immediately after a feed though. It can also be worth thinking about baby’s birth too as antibiotics can disrupt the gut microbiome and sometimes if there has been forceps or ventouse, cranial sacral therapy can be a possible option which may improve reflux. Any baby with a tongue tie can be more prone to reflux too which can be where seeing a lactation consultant with training in tongue ties can provide more information.
If you are breastfeeding, upright feeding, koala hold or cross cradle positions can help. If you have a strong/fast let down where your baby is taking in more milk then laid back/biological feeding positions can help. In addition wonky winding can be useful. If you are giving breastmilk directly or indirectly, a food diary can be useful if there are any other symptoms in addition to the reflux to see if there could be any dietary links to the reflux. Common ones include Cow’s milk protein, soya, eggs and sometimes caffeine or alcohol.
If you are formula feeding, then paced responsive bottle feeding with the slowest flow teat for as long as possible can reduce air intake. Again it may be useful to seek a feeding assessment to check for any tongue ties and check oral function. Sometimes it is worth looking on the back of your formula brand packet and checking the allergens in bold. Whilst every first stage milk is nutritionally the same, they can have different ingredients which is where sometimes switching to an alternative first stage brand without that particular allergen can improve symptoms.
Finally there can be medical options under the assessment of a GP. This can include alginates or for parents bottle feeding milk thickeners. Occasionally further investigations and input is required too depending on the frequency, consistency and any other symptoms or factors. In this case referral to the paediatric department is key for specialist input.
Angie x

Hi @Fisu!
Mixing breast and bottle feeds using expressed milk can be a really helpful option, especially if you're looking to involve others in caring for your baby. It can offer you a bit more flexibility and rest, while still keeping breastfeeding going, and for many families, it works really well. That said, it’s also worth remembering that support doesn’t have to mean feeding. Others can care for your baby by settling them after a feed, doing nappy changes, taking them for a walk, or just as importantly, taking care of you as the breastfeeding parent. Whether it’s bringing you snacks, running a bath, or just giving you a moment to breathe, all of that is valuable support. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Some babies take easily to bottles of expressed milk, others might take a little more time, and that’s okay. The most important thing is to trust your instincts and do what feels right for you and your baby.
Zoe x

Hi @Boggartdreams!
First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! It’s great that you’re thinking ahead about breastfeeding. The best thing you can do right now is focus on getting informed and preparing for the journey ahead. Remember, breastfeeding is a learning process for both you and your baby, and it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned at first. It’s all about knowing who to contact for support, whether that’s your midwife, health visitor, a lactation consultant, or peer support volunteers. One of the most important things is making sure you feel supported and confident when baby arrives. If you can, consider attending a breastfeeding workshop or speaking with a lactation consultant to give yourself a solid foundation. Once your baby is born, it’s all about feeding on demand, responding to baby’s cues, and letting your little one feed as much as they need to establish a good milk supply. As for breast pumps, you don’t need to buy one right away. In the early days, colostrum (the first milk) is produced in small amounts, and your baby will likely be your best “pump” at that stage, getting all the milk they need directly from you. If you do need to express your milk at this stage, hand expressing is usually best, as colostrum is thick, sticky, and comes in tiny amounts. When it comes to pumps, many parents wait until breastfeeding is well established (around 6 to 8 weeks) before introducing pumping and bottles, if they plan to do so. This can help avoid any confusion and make sure breastfeeding is going smoothly first. Good luck with it all!
Zoe x

Hi @Bobbysmumma!
First off, it’s totally normal for your 15-month-old to wake for a feed during the night. At this age, babies often still need that reassurance and comfort, even if they go longer without feeding during the day. Naptime and bedtime feeds can be the last to go and often feel like the hardest to drop - they’re a big cue for sleep and comfort! Some mums continue these feeds even after daytime weaning, and that’s completely okay. If you’d like to reduce night feeds, try to create a gentle bedtime routine that feels right for you both. Maybe you start with breastfeeding, but over time, you can add in other soothing cues, like a cuddle, a bedtime story, or some soft songs. Consistency really helps little ones feel settled, so sticking to a calming routine each night can be great for them. For night weaning, you could try offering a bedtime story and a little snack or drink before settling them to sleep. You might find that gently patting or cuddling them once they’re drowsy helps them drift off without needing to breastfeed. And if they do look to feed, you could offer a shorter feed or comfort them in other ways until a set time, like 3 am, then feed if they still need it. If you have someone else around who can help settle them, a cuddle from them can be a great way to replace a night feed too. And when your little one is older, you could even try a little agreement to wait until it's light outside before asking to breastfeed. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job! There’s no rush, and every step forward is a win. Trust your instincts, go at your own pace.
Zoe x

Hi @Carls679!
Such a great question and one that so many parents wonder about. The truth is, the biggest change going from one to two children really depends on your family, your little ones’ personalities, and the support you have around you. For some, the shift can feel quite natural, especially if there’s a bit of an age gap and your first child is more independent. For others, it can feel like a big adjustment. Juggling the needs of a newborn while still meeting the emotional and practical needs of an older child can be a lot. One really important thing is allowing emotional space for your older child to adjust to the change. It’s a huge shift for them too, and they might need time, patience, and lots of reassurance as they find their place in this new version of family life. Try not to force the sibling bond. It will come with time, especially when they feel secure and supported. Be kind to yourself in those early weeks and months. It’s okay if some days feel messy or full on. You’re learning how to be a parent to two, and that’s a whole new chapter. Trust yourself, take things one day at a time, and lean on support when you can.
Zoe x

My newborn contact naps on me during the day and hates being put down, understandably. (RIP to my wrists 😅but I love the cuddles ♥️) I have to hold him upright on my body with his head on my chest, as he isnt keen on being on his back. (Reflux)
My question is, does holding my baby this way affect the development of the hips/legs/anything, as he scrunches his little legs up?

Hi @lovemyflipflops !
Postpartum cramping, especially during breastfeeding, is such a common experience, but it can really catch you off guard. These cramps, often called afterpains, are your uterus contracting back down to its pre-pregnancy size, and they tend to be stronger if it’s not your first baby. Breastfeeding triggers the release of oxytocin, which helps with this process but can also make the cramps more noticeable. The good news is that they usually ease off within the first few days after birth. In the meantime, gentle heat like a warm compress or hot water bottle on your tummy, relaxation techniques, and simple pain relief such as paracetamol or ibuprofen can really help. Always check with your midwife or GP first, especially if you’re unsure what’s safe for you. If the cramping feels severe, gets progressively worse, is accompanied by heavy bleeding, or just doesn’t feel right, please don’t hesitate to contact your midwife. You know your body best, and it’s always okay to ask for support or reassurance.
Zoe x

Hi @LaughingCat!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and it’s great that you’re thinking ahead. Combination feeding can absolutely work for many families, and planning for it is a really thoughtful step. You’re right that every baby is different, and sometimes it’s about seeing what works best once they arrive, but there are definitely a few things you can do to get off to a good start. In the early days, it's usually recommended to focus on breastfeeding first. This helps your body build a strong milk supply and gives your baby time to get used to latching and feeding at the breast. Once breastfeeding feels established and is going well, often around 6 to 8 weeks, you can look at introducing a bottle, whether that’s with expressed milk or formula if you choose to. This can help reduce the chance of bottle preference or nipple confusion, which some babies may experience if bottles are introduced too early. If combination feeding is something you'd like to do sooner, it's worth chatting to your midwife or infant feeding team for personalised support to find the right balance for you and your baby.
Zoe x

Hi @ohdannyboy ,
That sounds like such a difficult experience, and you're absolutely not alone. Severe sickness in pregnancy, especially when it affects daily life and eating, can be more than just “morning sickness” and may be hyperemesis gravidarum. It’s good your midwife kept a close eye, as dehydration and weight loss can sometimes be a concern. There are safe anti-sickness medications available in pregnancy, so don’t hesitate to ask your GP or midwife for support early on if you’re pregnant again. Some people also find gentle options like ginger or acupressure bands helpful, and eating little and often can make a difference. It’s completely valid to seek help – you don’t need to power through it alone. You did incredibly well getting through it last time, and there is definitely more support out there if you need it again.
Zoe x

Hiya @Britanniaa, Ice pops, comfort through cuddles and pain relief using baby paracetamol or ibuprofen. Some parents find teething gels or granules useful, but as with anything in parenting it is finding what works for you and your baby.
Angie x

Hi @prettypeace!
Well done on finding a routine that works for you and your baby! Every parent finds their own groove, and it’s all about discovering what feels right for your family. While this specific routine may not be something that’s universally recommended, we absolutely encourage finding a system that works well for you. As long as everyone is happy, the baby is feeding well, gaining weight, and you’re both comfortable, then you’re doing an amazing job.
Zoe x