Do you have questions about the fourth trimester? MAM’s experts are here to answer your questions

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Created for MAM

Whether you’re a first time parent or have had a baby before, each pregnancy is different physically and emotionally. Whatever your question about the fourth trimester is, MAM’s experts - Zoe, Claire and Naomi are here to answer your questions.

• Everyone who shares a question on the thread below by the 6th October will be entered into a prize draw.
• One lucky user will win a £200 Amazon voucher.
• MAM’s experts will be back online in a couple of weeks to answer a selection of your questions.

About Midwife Zoe Watson: Zoe is a Registered Nurse and Midwife with over ten years of experience working in the NHS caring for patients and their families. Zoe qualified as a Midwife in 2012 and has since worked in various settings, from a specialist home birth team to a high-risk delivery suite, and most recently at a community birth centre.

About Health Visitor Claire Crips:
A dual-qualified nurse, midwife & health visitor with three beautiful children of her own. Currently working as a health visitor, Claire loves working with families.
Supporting them and their babies through the good and the hard times.

About Consultant Naomi Saunders:
Naomi Saunders, mum of two, infant massage consultant and primary school teacher, Naomi has since become an advocate of Combination Feeding and works with MAM to raise awareness of parents right to choose their own path when it comes to feeding.

Here’s what MAM has to say:
“Here at MAM we believe in supporting every mum on their feeding journey whichever journey they choose. We want mums to join us in supporting each other, MAM has a solution to help parents feel confident and babies feel good.”

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!
MNHQ

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Hi @Asuwere, the fourth trimester is becoming a more widely discussed topic amongst parents and health care professionals, despite not being a topic discussed much in previous years. As you have said the fourth trimester is about your post-natal recovery and is a time of adjustment to your new life as a parent. Although there might be some very fluid guidelines on how long this is, you mustn't put time constraints on your recovery or compare yourself to expectations which are not realistic for you. Similar to all guidelines around feeding, birth, milestones and just about everything else in parenthood, these are not hard and fast rules and will always be very individual. Naomi :)

Hi @Anotheronestatisticssuck! I agree with you on this; even as a midwife, I do not remember the fourth trimester being spoken about when my first daughter was born (she's also four). However, since having another, I feel that the fourth trimester is becoming a more widely discussed topic amongst parents and health care professionals. In addition, antenatal and postnatal education is ever-changing, and the classes between NHS trusts can vary. So, whilst I can't give you a 'yes' or 'no' answer to your question, I would imagine this sort of education is making its way into classes more now, which is great news for expectant parents. Zoe :)

Hi @CatNamedEaster, I am sorry to read you had a tricky time and I totally agree it is all about survival in those early days. Taking on the challenge one day at a time is such as positive way to view it. Although there might be some very fluid guidelines on how long this is, you must not put time constraints on your recovery or compare yourself to expectations which are not realistic for you. Similar to all guidelines around feeding, birth, milestones and just about everything else in parenthood, these are not hard and fast rules and will always be very individual. Naomi :)

Hello @UnityO, during the first week after childbirth, many women get what's often called the "baby blues" - they are probably due to the sudden hormonal and chemical changes that take place in your body after childbirth. Talking to your family and friends about your feelings, making time to do things you enjoy, getting as much sleep as you can at night, exercising regularly, and eating a healthy diet will help with this stage. I hope this helps. Always ask for support if you feel this stage lasts longer than a few weeks after your baby is born. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @00100001, the fourth trimester applies to anyone getting to grips with a newborn. :) Regardless of how our babies make their way into our arms, it's still a steep learning curve for all involved and TLC is much needed. Zoe

Hello @BristolMum96, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions as a new parent. In the first 6 to 8 weeks, as a mother, you are recovering from childbirth, and your baby might struggle to adjust to life outside the womb in those first 12 weeks also. But after this time your body will have mostly recovered, and your baby will be more settled and in a routine. Thank you, Claire.

Hello @Omgwhatthehell, babies will often sleep 15-18 hours per day at this stage, with possible nightly stretches of 2-4 hours in the first month, and 4-6 hours in the second month. Your baby will have their own pattern of waking and sleeping. You may feel ready to introduce a bedtime routine when your baby is around 3 months old. Getting them into a simple, soothing bedtime routine can be a great opportunity to have 1-to-1 time with your baby. As your child gets older, it can be helpful to keep to a similar bedtime routine. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @Discovereads, the fourth trimester is becoming a more widely discussed topic amongst parents and health care professionals, despite not being a topic discussed much in previous years. The fourth trimester is about your post-natal recovery and a time of adjustment to your new life as a parent. Whilst there are lots of aspects of this time which are focused on your care for your baby, just as much of your recovery is about your health and well-being. Remember happy mum's mean happy baby’s and sometimes a happy mum is a mum who has a little bit of selfcare. Never feel guilty about asking a partner or a family member to support so you are able to take a hot bath or go for a walk. Naomi :)

Hello @FiveMins, most babies like being carried like this because they're close to you and warm. The back part of the carrier must be high enough to support your baby's head. Check that buckles and straps are secure. When using a sling or carrier do not let the material cover your baby’s head. The safest method of baby wearing is in a carrier that keeps the new born baby solidly against the parent's body, in an upright position. Parents should ensure that they keep their baby's chin off their chest, thereby keeping the airway free for breathing. There is information on the Lullaby Trust website about baby sling safety. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @Changednamesorry, thanks for your question. Here is a link to some great information and advice on pelvic floor exercises: What are pelvic floor exercises? - NHS (www.nhs.uk) I hope that helps! :) Zoe

Thank you!

Hi @OurChristmasMiracle, it may seem early to start thinking about contraception, but pregnancy can occur soon after birth, and it is possible to fall pregnant before your period’s return. It is recommended that a method of contraception is started three weeks after birth. The different methods of contraception you can use after giving birth depend on whether you are planning to breastfeed. A progestogen-releasing device (implant) inserted into the upper arm, which lasts for 3 years, is one of the contraceptives you can use when you are breastfeeding. Please see your GP for further support. Thank you Claire.

Hi @Bloatstoat, this is such a common concern for new parents. In the early days with a new baby, try to accept all offers of help to ease the burden whilst you're getting to grips with feeding, resting and recovering yourself. But, gradually, you'll find your feet, a new family-life routine will emerge, and you'll find your groove in balancing the school/nursery run with the needs of a newborn. But, of course, these things take time and patience. So, in terms of practical advice, try to carve out windows of undisturbed one-to-one time with your older child. It's surprising how even a 10-minute cuddle with books on the sofa or playing their favourite game will hit the reset button for you both. As a Mum, when I was getting to grips with having two children, I made sure the time I had with my oldest daughter was free from tv, phones or distractions so they got my undivided attention (even for a short while). Good luck! Zoe :)

Hi @HouseholdBubblesandEeeeek, the fourth trimester is becoming a more widely discussed topic amongst parents and health care professionals, despite not being a topic discussed much in previous years. A quick google search will give you lots of information around this topic, including some nice clear information on the NCT website. But in summary the fourth trimester is about your post-natal recovery and a time of adjustment to your new life as a parent. There might be some very fluid guidelines on how long this is, but you must not put time constraints on your recovery or compare yourself to expectations which are not realistic for you. Similar to all guidelines around feeding, birth, milestones and just about everything else in parenthood, these are not hard and fast rules and will always be very individual. Naomi :)

Hello @Candykatie, new parents will experience little sleep during this 4th trimester. Newborn babies have very small stomachs, and they need to feed every few hours during the day and night. The advice would be to sleep and rest when you can. Do not worry about the washing and ironing and always say yes to help and support in this time. Hormones will be raised and sleeping as much as you can and catching up is important for your own health. Please remember to eat and drink regularly too. The full nights of restful sleep will come again, and you will soon miss these days of holding a sleeping newborn. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @sharond101, unfortunately, this is outside of the remit of what we can advise on as midwives and health visitors. Make an appointment with your GP for further support on this. Zoe :)

Hi @kateandme, thanks for your question. We understand that the fourth trimester is when new mothers and their babies need as much care and support as they did in pregnancy. It seems a relatively new term. However, I wonder if now that it has an official name, we will be more understanding and supportive of what new mums (and dads) are going through. Anything that helps, right? To answer your question about how to balance it all. I suggest you listen to your body, considering your physical and mental wellbeing. If you're feeling exhausted from a sleepless night, I advise you to take it easy and let your body recuperate. On the flip side, if you're feeling comfortable and well-rested and feel like you want to be productive, then catch up with friends, clean or go for a walk. The choice is yours! Zoe :)

Hello @ladyluck13, there is no easy answer on how to cope with a toddler and a newborn, and no one-size-fits-all answer either, but below are some of the tips and tricks you can try. Consider whom you can call when you need support. Meal prepping or asking a friend/family to help. Snacks are a great distraction. If you have a special place where you feed your baby, keep a pile of favourite books there to distract your toddler. Outside time is beneficial for your baby and toddler so go for walks when you can. Sleep while the baby sleeps, you might have an hour or two when they are both asleep at the same time during the day. I hope this helps, thank you, Claire.

Hello @Polarbear5, I have had a few of these questions today, I would suggest routine would be key for you and to ask for support from family and friends as much as you can. Twins are twice the work but finding time for yourself and your toddler is important too. Finding a time in the day when it is just you and your 2-year-old is something that you could implement and then feel you are giving your time to both the babies and your toddler. Having reading time or maybe a quick walk to the park are great ideas to have quality time. Just remember this time is short-lived and generally, families will find their feet quickly. But always ask for help and support if you need it and there are plenty of twin charities that offer that extra information if you need it. Thank you, Claire.

Hello @AnonWeeMouse, this time with your baby can be very overwhelming and hard on your mental health. There are a lot of expectations at this stage and it will be a different journey for every family. Mothers would benefit from seeing their health visitor or GP and asking for a little support about how they are feeling at this stage. There are plenty of charities to reach out to including MIND and the Association for Post-Natal Illness. Take care and please reach out in your local area if you feel you need further support. Thank you, Claire.

Hello @Didjesuspoop, the 4th trimester is the first 12 weeks after the baby has been born, this time is when families, mothers, and babies are adjusting to their new lives. The baby brain information (Five to Thrive) is a great place to start and gives advice on how you can stimulate your baby in the first few months of life. Skin to skin is recommended to support babies adjusting to life outside the womb and supports mothers to initiate breastfeeding and develop close, loving relationships with their babies. Slings can be used as long as they fit correctly, and you can see your baby’s face. Parents should ensure that they keep their baby's chin off their own chest, thereby keeping the airway free for breathing. There is information on the Lullaby Trust website about baby sling safety. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @Nursemumma92, thanks for your question. I'm sorry that you had a difficult time with your first baby. On the other hand, it's great that you're doing all you can to have a more positive experience this time. So, my top tips for getting breastfeeding off to the right start would be: First, attend a breastfeeding workshop before birth, as this will help you understand the principles of good positioning and attachment.Try to have your baby skin-to-skin immediately following the birth. Keep your baby nearby to get to know their feeding cues. Feeding cues are signs that your baby is ready to feed. These are putting their hands to their mouth, turning their head towards you, licking their lips and mouthing. Offer your baby the breast as soon as possible when they show these signs. Ask for help if you are unsure or experiencing any problems. Familiarise yourself with the local support available - hospital-run groups, lactation consultants, peer-led support groups and online support groups. Look after you too! Drink plenty, eat well, accept help, enjoy all the cuddles with your new baby and rest when you can.When balancing all this with looking after another little one, just do your best! Get them involved in caring for their new brother or sister, which will help them bond. Also, think about little activities you can do side-by-side whilst you're feeding, like reading a book together or watching their favourite tv program. I hope that helps. Zoe :)

Hi, @tillytown! Thanks for your question; you sound like a very caring friend. I wouldn't recommend returning to work this early. At the very least, I would advise that your friend waits until her 8-week postnatal check with the GP. This appointment will be an excellent opportunity to discuss her physical and mental health one-to-one and make an informed decision on what she wishes to do. I hope that helps. Zoe :)

Hello @Cocobeau, newborn babies do not come with an instruction manual, and you're bound to have lots of questions about their behaviour and appearance, to begin with. In the beginning, it can seem like your baby is constantly feeding, but gradually you and your baby will get into a pattern. Feed your baby as often as they want. This is called baby-led feeding. Let your baby decide when they have had enough. Babies also grow quickly in the early months, and they have very small stomachs. This means they need to feed little and often. As your baby grows, they will gradually start to need fewer night feeds and will sleep for longer at night. The NHS website recommends from 3 months old implement a routine but be led by the baby. Thank you, Claire.

Hi @Emotionalmessy, thanks for your question. After a c-section birth, you will remain in the hospital for 1 to 2 days on average. This is so the health care professionals can support your recovery and help you get to grips with a newborn. Once you have returned home, you will be under the care of the community midwife, who will continue this support. After approximately two weeks (if you and your baby are well), you will be discharged from midwifery care and looked after by a health visitor. Health visitors support you until your baby is five years of age. Of course, there are other places you can go to for support, too, such as the GP and local community groups. I hope that helps. Zoe :)