What gave you the most hope as a young person?

[CeriMumsnet]

Growing up we all need support and encouragement to help us develop our confidence and find our way in life. Whether it came from a person, a place, or a life experience, we'd love to hear about the things that gave you hope and helped you believe in your future as a young person.

Did a teacher or mentor see your potential and set you on the path for your future career? Perhaps some kind words from a stranger gave you hope and comfort during a tough time, or maybe it was the support you received when you left home for the first time that made all the difference.

Everyone who posts on this thread by 1st May will be in with a chance to receive £200 to donate to a charity of their choice. T&Cs

We’re working with New Horizon Youth Centre, the only day centre in London supporting young people facing homelessness with emergency housing support and advice. For thousands of young people, there is no family support, no financial safety net, and no affordable housing options. Over 100,000 young people a year approach their council as homeless. We think our nation's children and young people deserve better. Find out more about the work New Horizon Youth Centre do and how to donate here.

I found having a part time job whilst at school really helped me grow in confidence. It allowed me to have a sense of responsibility whilst also teaching me time management, money management etc. I don't really remember being inspired by a teacher/mentor etc. but I think experiences like this helped me grow!

It might sound glib, but the first thing was the Spice Girls. They did make it feel like girls could do anything.

The second was the school I attended for Sixth Form... a Girls Grammar. It made me feel like science was for girls as well, and gave me confidence that I could be an engineer. Engineering wasn't even something I considered before then. Combination of the teachers and other pupils... they had high expectations.

As an adult, I'm now a Scout leader. I like to think we do make a difference to the children. I definitely see them grow in confidence.

We didn’t have a lot of money but our parents gave us love and introduced us to reading, books, cinema, theatre and classical music. Religion gave us a community and a framework to the year. I won a place at secondary school and the teachers treated us as if we could achieve whatever we wanted.

My GP in my late teens - I met her when I was 17 and she changed my life in an extraordinary manner, I had never been able to speak to anyone about the things I had gone through and had never felt understood. She gave me time, space and was very firm but fair. I was heading down a self destructive route, facing horrendously adverse experiences and somehow she interrupted that path. She asked me what I wanted for my future (specific career) and when I told her, I immediately added ‘but that’s impossible, I can’t do that.’ She very firmly told me if that was what I wanted, it was absolutely within my reach.

Years and years on something she said is still the screensaver on my phone - I’ve got my dream job and I still glance at my phone when I’m stressing and think, ‘but x believes in me.’ and it keeps me going.

Why are the titles different? The thread is “what experiences shaped you” but when you click in it’s “what gave you most hope”

those are two different questions. Which one do you want answered?

I’ve noticed this with MN ads where the clickbait title is not actually what the post is about.

i don’t actually remember anything giving me hope. The aspirations my family had for me were not those I held for myself. Every time I mentioned my hopes for my future I was told why I couldn’t/shouldn’t do that and why I should do x or y instead.

the experience that shaped me most as a child left me with PTSD.

I think it's so personal and depends on so many things but I had more of a general sense that karma will work it out and hope for me was knowing (of feeling I knew) that everything that happened was for a reason. I'll say now that I'm not at all religious and I don't consider myself agnostic. I just am a huge optimist and tell myself that if something happens that I don't like (remember it was usually a boy not liking me or a role in a school play I didn't get or something like not being invited to something, I'd tell myself that this meant I now had an opportunity to do something/ meet someone / get something better). Perspective and attitude impact hope more than anything else for me.

For me it came from family plus the teacher of the subject I ended up studying at university. A young person needs someone to spot something in them and for there to be opportunities.

Part time or summer jobs were available for young people, so I could apply, get a job and feel the achievement when I got a job by myself (at 16/17/18) which gives a confidence boost.

I had some severe issues at school and refused to go majority of the time. The school got a support teacher in to help me from something called ‘the primary project’ (I think? It was a long time ago!) she was amazing. She was 1-1 for some of my lessons and she even took notes for me in my books when I was just frozen with fear being in a classroom. She spent hours mentoring me and just talking, building my confidence etc. it must have cost the school a fortune and back in the 90s I don’t think this was very common.

A grandparent who provided a calm, stable warm safe environment away from my violent abusive aggressive DV parents household.

She had nothing to her name, hand to mouth yet she introduced foods I had never tried, strawberries, apple pie & custard, nice fresh salads.
Her home was a kind place where I was included and talked to like I mattered.
She introduced me to books & reading, libraries.

Her poverty made me stand on my own two feet but in a loving home. I moved in with her at 17, got a job so I could pay her board.
I saved each week building up a small savings fund.
I trained for my profession while living with her, eventually qualifying and getting a great job, well paid which meant I could pay her board but also her electric bill.

She lifted me out of an awful situation by just being there and being her self.

In return, I cared for her in her home for the last 7 years of her life suffering with chronic illness.
Every day, sometimes twice a day between shifts and on my days off I went and did everything for her.
I miss her.

I think for me, it was an English teacher who truly seemed to believe in me and made me think I could do anything!

What shaped my childhood and adulthood was my mother telling me she didn't want to be a wife or mother anymore and walking out when I was 11

Being able to escape to the drama studio at my school. It was dark and I now know, gave me a sensory break. As a very shy person my drama teacher encouraged me and I was able to express myself through performing.
I didn’t like school but Drama got me through.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t confident so it must have been having very supportive parents who bought us up to believe that we could do or be whatever we wanted . Also my horses who instilled so much self esteem throughout my tweens and teens because whatever else was going on they were always there for a good chat .

I was kicked out of home at 16 and homeless. I sofa surfed as much as I could untill I found a bedsit. I was lucky I was with a good man who stayed with me for over 40 yrs until his sudden and unexpected death last year. He gave me the strength and confidence to build a good life together. I was determined my children would not suffer as I did and they would never experience being homeless. The best thing my parents did for me was be bad parents.

Someone I worked with. She was an older lady and I was a bit of a wild child! She took me aside one day and said I was quite special and that I could do anything I wanted. It gave me a kick up the bum and I have never forgotten.
Also, similar to a PP, I had a GP who gave me a lot of time when I was going through a rough time. She made a major difference to my life.

A few friends of the family who lived in our street, who were kinder, warmer and more interested in me than my own fucked up family.

Reading books about real life people who overcame hardship really helped me feel more confident in my own abilities to overcome challenges.

My aunt and uncle were always supportive and made me feel capable and trusted and seen.

Animals. When adults around me were being self-centred and immature, my connection to animals was a gift - knowing you have to be calm, sensitive and nurturing for them teaches you the skills to do it for yourself.

This made me cry. It’s so great that you were able to reciprocate her love and kindness.

So true.

Getting a job working in a shop and dealing with the public was what changed everything for me as a mid-teen.
I was very shy and non-confrontational, always told I needed more confidence. The job in the local shop meant I HAD to talk to people, and I was in charge of the interaction. I earned my own money and had a sense of my own worth. So much changed based on this, although it is only looking back that I worked out this is where it all started.

Truly beautiful and inspiring stories

I grew up with undiagnosed adhd in the 80s until I went to uni . The only person who loved me unconditionally was my grandmother and I honestly don’t know how I would have survived my early years without her . Her unconditional love gave me strength above anything else . My parents where not bad but they didn’t know about adhd and both worked and punished me by constantly smaking me , they favoured my calm and easygoing sibling so that made me the black sheep of the family .
What gave me confidence believe it or not was adversity . I had the most cruel primary school teacher , who used to hit our hands with a ruler if we got wrong answers and divided the class my smart , medium and dumb . One day she hit me before I even replied a history question , I was about 8 years old ,instead of apologising she asked me question after question for 5 minutes hoping I eventually got one wrong . I didn’t , she gave up . I remeber the adult teacher assistant asking me if I was ok on my way to lunch but she was to scared to say anything else . That teacher absolutely hated me for the following 2 years I had her she would constantly pull me to the front of the class to see if I got anything wrong . I never did . I refused to be hit by that awful vile woman so I had to be the smartest and I was , to this day I remeber my sheer panic daily , I had to be right about everything . From then onwards I realised if I was to achieve something I was on my own . It was a sad realisation as a child and I remeber in my treen years I felt nobody loved me . But I somehow made it . I was a teen mum but somehow still went back to uni and have a great career , I grew up in poverty but now have a great life , I have wonderful children and I will never make my children go through what I went through . I’m in my early 40s and I still struggle to feel loved and allow others to help me but at least at times I find myself being proud of myself now .

The school librarian in my secondary school probably doesn't realise what an enormous help she was to my teenage self. I found it hard to find my place in secondary school - mean kids, feeling young for my age, not understanding how to be, and how to fit in. Lunchtimes in the school library were a lifeline. I never felt judged, she let me volunteer to do all sorts of little jobs even when there wasn't much to do, and made me feel valued and useful. It helped my confidence so much, and gave me a sense of a safe haven in the jungle that was secondary school in the 80s!

I know this is going to sound ridiculous. I always wanted to be a teacher but as a young person choosing next steps my mum said I would be rubbish at it and not to pursue it. I did a completely unrelated degree but as part of it did a module on teaching English as a foreign language. I was told I was a natural. My mum continued to say not to waste my time and I'd never make it as a teacher. I interviewed for a PGCE fully expecting not to get on, got my place, sailed through, had 7 job offers by the March if my training year. What gave me the most hope? The English as a foreign language module...and 20 years on I'm still teaching and very highly regarded (so I keep being told 😊).