How do you start a conversation with your kids about internet safety? £200 voucher to be won

[CeriMumsnet]

Online safety can feel like a challenge for parents, but if it’s something you find difficult to talk to your children about, you’re not alone. We’d like to hear from you about your experiences starting conversations about online safety with your children. Have you managed to have constructive discussions with your children? Were there any helpful tools or resources you used? What challenges did you face, and what advice would you give other parents who are unsure about how to start a conversation with their children?

• Share your advice and experiences about starting conversations with your children around online safety.
• One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher
• Don’t forget to vote in our poll below

We know it can be difficult for parents to have conversations about online safety and mealtimes are a moment where quality conversations can take place. This is why Tesco Mobile has partnered with The Café and child psychologist Dr Martha Deiros Collado to make mealtimes even more meaningful. Working with online safety experts, Internet Matters, Tesco Mobile has created a series of helpful conversation starters to help you start the discussion about being safe online with your children.

Here’s Tesco Mobile CTO Sally Marriott has to say:

"As parents, we’re constantly navigating new challenges, and keeping children safe online is one of the most pressing. We’ve created these conversation starters with the aim of making these tough topics approachable for families. Parents can easily access our conversation starters by searching ‘Tesco Mobile Online Safety’ or by scanning the QR code on ‘table talkers’ in The Café, found in 322 Tesco stores across Great Britain & Northern Ireland.”

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

MNHQ
Insight T&Cs apply

For me it's as and when - I brought mine up to be sensible, and cautious - if I read somthing in the news about cyber bullying, sexting, and emails with links (although then don't have an email address - it's an example of phishing which is something I need to make them aware of.
If they go on sleepovers I reenforce my concerns - and ask them to be sensible.

A message from school prompted a discussion and a little while later when I fell for a scam😟

I brought the dangers of internet use as soon as we got a laptop for homework, I have strong privacy settings with my ISP, and whenever something comes up on the news - phishing scams, stanger friend requests, and acceping friend requests from strangers.

Ilke others have said - it's just a new version of the stranger danger talk, I have bought a book which is at the level of a 10 year old (ish) for portraying the dangers of the internet, what to look out for and when to tell or ask a parent if you are unsure - helps keep the lines of communication open.

I'm fairly tech savvy but still assume there are things I don't know. I know my children's knowledge will overtake mine so we have lots of open discussion, rules and boundaries around internet use. I'm also 'mean' and don't let them have WhatsApp etc.
You have to try to stay informed.

As others have said, it's discussed like stranger danger; it's an ongoing discussion which develops as they grow and depending on what access they have to the internet.

It's as and when, if they ask anything when being on the internet, giving them their own signing in account with strong parental controls. I will have the stranger danger internet talk if/when they are allowed a social media account - they have their good points - but far more bad points imo.

I think keeping the lines of communication open always is a start. Lately however kids are getting sneakier and are way more tech savvy than their parents. If you know your kids are in danger perhaps a controlled ‘situation’ to scare their pants off could be a way to go. That is probably so controversial but from what I personally see online kids DO NOT listen. They have too many ‘rights’ and parents are at their wits end.
The public will Always ask where were the parents.. unfortunately parents have no control once access is given.
Checking devices may be a way to go to. Has anyone heard the message left by a young 9yo to another? Horrific! 9! NINE years of age people!

My kids are over 20 and I still worry about cyber bullying and peer pressure. It affects ALL ages.

Ours are older now but when we tried years ago we found they just didn’t take us ‘oldies’ seriously. They said we were clueless about modern life. I think this is universally the opinion of young teenagers. In many ways they are right of course. In the end I stumbled across the Brucht Brechnar’ documentary on the BBC I think. We showed them that and suffice it to say - that did the trick!

Nearly 12 and 14 here and we talk very openly! No talking to people you haven't met in person, 13year old daisy could be 45 year old dave! Never give out school, d.o.b or address. no nudes as they are kept on the Internet forever. If you wouldn't say it in person don't say online! We also randomly check phones we must know passwords! if it's changed and we aren't told they loose the phones. We talked about previous kidnapping/murder cases etc which have started from talking online. My kids are not easily scared but tbh if it did scare them it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Over the years I've had a few online safety conversations with my son, who is now 13.

I've primarily used NSPCC online safety resources, available on their website, to help start the conversation and go through the various potential safety issues.

Aged around 9, he opened up about some older, online 'friends' he'd made that he played games with, talking to them via the headset. I used the NSPCC resources to open a discussion as to why this may not be safe, that people online aren't always who they say they are, and although he wasn't happy, together we deleted the 'friends' from his account. Years later, he completely understands why this had to be done.

Advice I'd give is to be open and honest, using age appropriate resources, and revisit the conversation regularly, helping your child feel comfortable to approach you with any concerns.

Every time my dc ask to use a new app or form of social media is a great intro to a conversation about internet safety. I think the most important thing I can do is to try and keep up with the apps and social media my child wants to access. Understanding the basics of how these work and how connections between people are made within them is key to having informed conversations. I explain that just as I wouldn’t drop my dc off in a room full of strangers wearing masks and leave them there unaccompanied, neither do I want them to be online without supervision, ie me checking in with them regularly.

If they want to use an app or media I ask them to show me how it works and I take the opportunity to ask them where they think any risks may be and how they can reduce the risks. I find asking dc to identify risks and give their own solutions is far more effective than me lecturing them.

Having said that, my motto is, never write a message or post a picture on the internet you would be embarrassed for one of your parents or teachers to see. I also tell them that if someone sends you something embarrassing, threatening or frightening or tries to persuade you to send them something embarrassing let me know and I will help you sort it out.

Recently, I’ve started learning more about AI (artificial intelligence, eg ChatGPT) and show my dc how it often makes mistakes and has been built upon ‘hallucinations’. Again, we have chats about the pros, cons and risks.

I've spoken to mine when they started using a tablet, and playstation for on-line gaming, I used examples from case studies, and from my own knowlege, IMO every child is different and will require a differing level of support, advice and controls over what they use on-line. They know I will stop internet use if I find out they are not using the internet safely - so that's a deterrant. I also ask them to come to me if they feel uncomfortable about anything on-line - which they have in the past.

They get so much of it at school, I have not felt the need. Bring your children up to be confident, self aware. Don’t shield them from the more horrible ends of the world, but remain optimistic and it should work out.

I know enough to help my DC's navigate the internet, and be aware that everyone using this is not nice, and they may not be who they say they are. They know to be aware of accepting strangers as friends, just how they would do the same in real life- the thing I need to gen up on is AI and how this affects the internet - fake news - fake photos - fake profiles - this is difficult to explain - so I will leave than until I understand this topic enough myself.

I don't let my DC's have a phone, but they do have use of the laptop, only for cartoons and youtube - with their own account for browsing with the highest privacy and parental controls. I have had information from school about the dangers of allowing a social media account, so I feel prepared for that. I feel out of my depth re the use of IA, BOTS and cyber attacks - even if we have the highest virus protection.

I have prepared - but not scared my DS into using the internet, basically if you don't know them don't engage with them, and if you feel anything is not quite right to come to me or dad.
I use the phrase if your spider senses tingle about someone let me know.
They don't have facebook - but use whatsapp for their football and friendship groups, but one of the parents is the admin.

I will speak to them when they get whatsapp or snapchat (won't ever allow Instagram or facebook). and make them aware of the good uses of this app for keeping in touch with me and close friends - but make them aware without going OTT over who may be out there wanting to be their 'friend' When they want to game on-line I will do the same re gaming rooms - they have gaming consoles but don't play on-line yet.

I asked them to be sensible when using the internet -and don't say anything on-line which would hurt anyone's feelings and make them sad - one of mine is in their teens so has Facebook - but I have the ability to monitor friend requests, also with on-line gaming to be sensible - I really feel that if you equip your children with the skills to be sensible and 'streetwise' on-line they should not come to any harm - and always ask them to come to you if they have any issues with anyone on-line.

I have had several conversations with my DC's who are using the internet, and want social media, and already use Whatsapp - around not giving your number out to strangers on-line, adding friends you don't know. I looked on-line for appropriate ways to start the conversation - they said - yes they are aware of the dangers of the internet having done it in PHSE in school. I will always keep asking about their worries and issues they have with using the internet.
My settings are on the highest with the ISP

I really think that there should be adverts on the TV and social media about this (if there are any I have not seen). we had lots of stranger danger adverts when I was young - this would supplement and remind children about the dangers.
I personally have spoke with mine, and they seemed to be really savvy about unrecognised friend requests, and never to feel pressured into sending inappropriate photos.

Discussed with mine about the dangers of interacting with strangers online and remind them that people online don't always tell the truth and to be aware of that, but that's only a few people - most are kind and friendly - but to always be aware.
I explained that passwords are there to protect against things like identity theft - and never to share these with anyone.

I speak to mine about passwords for their social media - a hacked social media can do lots of damage, accepting friend requests - and seeing AI on-line to not always believe what you see- check anything posted on-line that does not look credible,
AI frightens the bejeebers out of me - I think it will only get worse and what is on the internet can not be trusted.

I found it helpful to go through my daughter's phone with her, including WhatsApp, and explain the safe use of it, plus the risks.

I spoke to the class teacher to see if/what school are planning that year, and if there are any things I want to bring forward, I will reinforce, I think my children are quite sensible and savvy about talking to unknown people on-line- but I think password security is very important- and to look out for the signs of being hacked - I lost my FB account 2 years ago and because someone changed ALL my details I could not get it back and lost a whole lifetime of memories.